The Order Reads the Fifth Harry Potter Book
by Windsor's Resident Elvendork
Summary: During a boring Order meeting in the Room of Requirement, Sirus wishes for something interesting to do. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix appears and they decide to read it. What happens when the Marauders,Lily, and the rest of the Order read it?
1. Finding the book

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did I wouldn't be writing fan fiction. Actually I probably would, because I'm weird like that, but that's not the point. J. has better things to do with her time than write fan fiction, that's why its our job :)**

**A/N-They** **are** **having** **a meeting of the Order in the Room of Requirement. It is summer break so no students are there. And I'm also using the American version of the book. Peter isn't there. He's 'sick'.**

Dumbledore shot a few sparks out of his wand.

"Settle down, settle down." He said, looking pointedly at the Marauders who had been the main cause of commotion.

The Marauders grinned sheepishly at him and sat down. Remus sat by McGonagall, who was sitting to the right of Dumbledore, Sirius sat down next to Remus, and James sat in the chair between Sirius and James's wife, Lily. Everyone else went and sat down so that the meeting could be again. Moody sat on the left of Dumbledore. Next to Moody was, to his great annoyance, the pranksters Fabian and Gideon Prewitt. Next to them was Sturgis Podmore, then Elphias Doge. Next to Doge was Marlene McKinnon, and next to her was Aberforth. Benjy Fenwick was sitting in between him and Dorcas Meadows. And at the end of that side of the table sat Caradoc Dearborn.

Alice sat in between her best friend Lily and her husband, Frank. On Frank's other side sat his good friend Edgar Bones. Beside Edgar was the easily excitable Dedalas Diggle. And sitting on the other end of the table, because he needed so much room, was Hagrid.

"Are we ready to begin?" Dumbledore asked the room at large.

At that exact moment two babies' crying could be heard from the other room. Both Alice and Lily jumped to their feet. Moody gave a grunt of irritation.

Alice and Lily ignored it and ran to the other room where their two sons were supposed to be sleeping. Both boys were crying and trying to stand up in their cribs. Both young women went over and took their son out of his crib.

They tried to get the boys to sleep again by rocking them, but after 5 minutes it was obvious that neither of the boys was going to go back to sleep. Both mothers set them on the floor to play with toys, but both boys started crying when Lily and Alice started to leave. Both of them sighed in defeat, picked up their son, and returned to the meeting room.

When they returned most of the people in the room were laughing at a joke Sirius had just made, (excluding McGonagall and Mad-Eye Moody.) Sirius was leaning back on the back two legs of the chair, with his legs propped on the table and his hands folded behind his head looking smug. Lily couldn't resist the temptation; she shifted Harry to her right hand, and reached out her left hand and jerked the chair down. Sirius fell to the ground with an almighty crash. Everyone burst out laughing (even Moody and McGonagall.) Harry was giggling in her arms. The twins gave her a standing ovation. Lily bowed and went to go sit down next to James. James was doubled over in laughter at his best friend's expense.

After everyone was settled down again, Dumbledore asked again "Are we ready to begin?"

"The babies can't be in here Dumbledore." Mad-Eye growled.

"They can't understand what's going on!" exclaimed Alice.

"They might." Moody growled.

"Moody, if there was any chance that Harry would understand what's going on during the meeting I wouldn't have him here. I don't want him to know what's going on. But he won't seeing as he is only 6 months old." Lily said, trying to convince him, she really didn't like being away from Harry.

"Yeah, but what if when he's older he wants to join the Order, because he remembers this meeting." Moody challenged.

"Moody that's ridiculous. I've already said that he won't remember this. Plus there is no way I'm letting him join the Order. And another thing, how do you know we'll even need an Order when he's grown up. Maybe Voldermort (here quite a few people flinched) will be gone."Lily exclaimed triumphantly, thinking there was no way for Moody to get away from this one.

But it was Sirius who answered. "Lily, if Voldermort (some people flinched) is still at large in the future and there's still an Order, Harry will want to join if he's anything like you and Prongs."

"What if I won't let him?" Lily said, knowing it was a lost cause if Harry was anywhere near as stubborn as James and her.

"Lily, are you really asking that about your and James's son?" Sirius said laughing.

Lily was about to answer when Dumbledore said, "I see no harm in letting the boys stay. Know can we please start the meeting?"

Everyone nodded.

"Right first order of business, Sturgis did you draw up that plan of your and Caradoc's last mission?"Dumbledore asked Sturgis.

"Yes sir, here you go" Sturgis levitated the document towards Dumbledore.

"Okay Dorcas did you get the floor plan to 's?"

Before Dorcas could reply, Sirius gave a loud yawn. "Can't we do something interesting this meeting Dumbledore?"

"Like what Mr. Black?" Dumbledore asked, with a twinkle in his eyes. Meanwhile McGonagall was looking livid that Sirius would interrupt Dumbledore and the meeting.

"I don't know." Sirius said ignoring the glares he was getting from McGonagall, Lily and Moody, the exasperated look from Remus, and the amused look from James. "I just wish there was something interesting for us to do."

At that moment a big, blue book fell in Sirius's lap.

Sirius was so surprised that he nearly fell out of his chair again.

Moody jumped up ready to curse the book and everyone else looked tense. Everyone but Dumbledore.

"Sit down, Alstor. Has everyone forgotten what room we're in? The Room of Requirement provides the user with whatever the person needs. Sirius wished for something interesting to do, the room provided him with that book." Dumbledore explained calmly.

"How is a _book_ interesting?" Sirius asked saying book as if it was a nasty curse word.

"How about you read the title to us Mr. Black?" Dumbledore inquired.

"Okay." Said Sirius, not seeing how any book could be interesting. He looked at the title and yelped.

"What's the book's name?!" everyone exclaimed, except the headmaster, though he too was curious.

"_Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix." _Sirius read his voice quivering.

"WHAT?!" everyone shouted. No one as loud as James and Lily though. Lily got up and ripped the book from Sirius's hands to confirm what he had just read.

"No." she whispered.

"Told you." Moody said.

Lily ignored him. She clutched her baby boy to her chest.

Sirius took the book back.

"He looks exactly like you, Prongs. Look." Sirius said, handing James the book and pointing to the picture of the boy on the cover.

James smiled. "He does look like me doesn't he?"

McGonagall was getting really curious. She wanted to read this book.

"Well how about we all settle down so we can read it." She proposed to the room.

"Ok. I want to read first." Sirius said. "Seeing as "I wished it up."

When nobody objected he took the book from Prongs and began to read.

**A/N- This is a picture of the sitting arrangement. I know it doesn't matter, I'm just OOC about this kind of thing :)**

** Dumbledore**

** ------------**

** McGonagall [ ] Mad-Eye**

** Remus [ ] Fabian**

** Sirius [ ] Gideon**

** James [ ] Sturgis**

** Lily [ ] Elphias Doge**

** Alice [ ] Marlene McKinnon**

** Frank [ ] Aberforth**

** Edgar Bones [ ] Benjy Fenwick**

Dedalas Diggle [ ] Dorcas Meadows

nobody [ ] Caradoc Dearborn

____________

Hagrid


	2. Dudley Demented

**A/N: Oh my goodness you guys! I am soo sorry for taking so long. I have been traveling a lot and my computer crashed. Luckily my dad was able to be Superman and save my story from the hard drive. So once again I'm soooo sorry for the long wait.**

**This chapter is dedicated to **LilyCalliePotter **my first EVER reviewer! Also **my Dad** because without him this story would have been lost and I don't know what would have happened to it from there!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Sirius: Yeah, she's not cool enough!**

**Me: -breathes in deeply- Thank you, Sirius.**

**Sirius: You're welcome!**

**Me: -rolls eyes- Sooo…..on with the story!**

"**Dudley Demented**" Sirius read.

He looked up from the book. "What do you think that could mean?"

"Maybe a dementor attack."Frank suggested.

"NO!" Lily shouted. "It could mean something else." She said desperately.

"Possibly." Said Dumbledore calmly. "Let us continue reading so that we can find out."

**The hottest day of the summer so far was drawing to a close and a drowsy silence lay over the large, square houses of Privet Drive.**

"But Lily and I live in Godric's Hollow." James said confused.

McGonagall shot him a glare telling him to shut up, and motioned for Sirius to continue.

**Cars that were usually gleaming stood dusty in their drives and lawns that were once emerald green lay parched and yellowing; the use of hosepipes had been banned due to drought.**

"What's a hosepipe?" Dedalus asked.

"What's a drought?" Sturgis asked.

Lily sighed. "A hosepipe is a way for Muggles to water their lawns. And a drought is when there isn't enough water to go around. It sounds like a Muggle neighborhood."She said this last part more to herself but everyone heard her. They looked around at each other. What would Harry Potter be doing in a Muggle neighborhood?

**Deprived of their usual car-washing and lawn-mowing pursuits,**

Here Sirius stopped reading to ask what lawn-mowing was, but with a glare from McGonagall continued to read.

**the inhabitants of Privet Drive had retreated into the shade of their cool houses, windows thrown wide in the hope of tempting in a nonexistent breeze. **

"This is really boring. I don't care about droughts and lawn-mowing. I want to hear about my son!" James exclaimed.

"If you would let me finish reading Prongs." Sirius said, amused at his friend, but also wondering when his godson would appear in the story.

**The only person left outdoors was a teenage boy who was lying flat on his back in a flower bed outside number four.**

James and Sirius cheered.

"You don't know if that's Harry or not." Lily pointed out. Then she frowned. "If it is Harry then why is he outside in this heat lying in a flower bed?"

This made Sirius and James be quite, and Sirius continued reading.

**He was skinny, black-haired, bespectacled boy who had the pinched, slightly unhealthy look of someone who has grown a lot in a short space of time.**

Sirius's smile had grown wider as he read this sentence, and when he finished his grin was so big it was amazing it didn't fall off his face.

"There you go Lily," he said. "That is most definitely James's son.

"I wonder what gave it away." Fabian said. "It couldn't be the skinny part?"

"Nor the black-haired bit." continued Gideon.

Everyone laughed at the twins' teasing.

"Ughh…It seems as if he gets _your _bad eyesight." Lily exclaimed, poking her husband in the chest.

"Owww….Lily it's not my fault. Well actually it is, but I can't do anything about it." James shrugged.

Lily just smiled. She was actually a quite pleased that Harry looked more like his father. Just as long as he wasn't as arrogant.

"Oh there's a picture at the beginning of the chapter!" Sirius suddenly exclaimed.

"I want to see!" Lily exclaimed excitedly. She looked at a picture of a teenage boy lying in a patch of flowers. Lily smiled and passed the book to James. The book was then passed around so everyone could see the picture.

"How old do you think Harry is?" Alice asked, it would also tell her how old Neville was, since Neville was born only a few hours before Harry.

"Well let's see." Sirius said turning to Remus. "Slightly_ unhealthy look of someone who has grown a lot in a short space of time."_ He quoted the book. "Sounds like James when he was…"

"15" Remus and Sirius said at the same time, laughing.

"I remember when he turned up at the train station and I had to look up to him." Remus said.

"Like you should." James said. He was hit by a stinging hex from an amused werewolf. James grabbed his arm where the hex had hit him but couldn't help laughing along with Sirius, Remus, Fabian, Gideon, Frank, Edgar, and Lily.

"Really Moony?" Sirius asked. "All I remember was a skinny, gangly, little git ogling at a certain redhead."

The aforementioned redhead blushed, and James hit Sirius upside the head. Everyone laughed. Well, except Moody and McGonagall, who were getting irritated and just wanted to continue reading, though McGonagall actually enjoyed the Marauders and Lily's playful banter (not that she'd ever admit it.)

"Black, please continue reading before I curse you." Mad-Eye growled.

Sirius, who was quite scared of the magical-eyed auror, gulped and began reading.

**His jeans were torn and dirty, his T-shirt baggy and faded, and the soles of his trainers were peeling away from the uppers.**

"Why does my son not have proper clothes?" Lily asked worriedly, clutching baby Harry closer to her.

**Harry Potter's**

Here most of the room cheered, even though they had known it was Harry, it was exciting to hear it confirmed.

**appearance did not endear him to the neighbors, who were the sort of people who thought scruffiness ought to be punishable by law,**

"Prongs! Where are you and Lily living? I mean, really who cares about looks that much?"Sirius exclaimed.

"I really don't know Pads." James answered, he was really worried. It sounded as if Harry was living in a Muggle neighborhood, his clothes were worn and torn, and the neighbors sounded snooty. Why would Lily and him live _there_?

**but as he had hidden himself behind a large hydrangea bush this evening he was quite invisible to passerby. **

"Ahh….A true Marauders son." Sirius said grinning.

James grinned too.

Lily and McGonagall groaned.

**In fact, the only way he would be spotted was if his Uncle Vernon or Aunt Petunia**

Lily let out a small yelp.

When everyone but James, who was staring at Lily in horror, asked what, she said "P...P...Petunia is my sister and her husband's name is Vernon.

"Well maybe he's just staying with them for a little while, while you and James are off doing something for the Order." Alice suggested, trying to calm her friend down.

"But then they would leave Harry with Remus or I." said Sirius, tactlessly. Alice shot him a look that said quite plainly 'you're not helping'.

Sirius changed pace at the speed of light, "Remus and I would probably be with you, though."

Comforted for the moment, Lily gestured for Sirius to keep reading.

**stuck their heads out of the living room window and looked straight down into the flower bed below. **

"Which they won't do." James commented.

**On****the****whole, Harry thought he was to be congratulated on his idea of hiding here.**

"CONGRATULATIONS!" Sirius, James, Fabian, and Gideon shouted at once.

Everyone covered their ears. A few people laughed at them. Remus just shook his head at his friends' antics. Lily on the other hand slapped her husband across the head.

"It's a book. It can't hear you." She said exasperated.

Meanwhile James was rubbing his head where she had slapped him. "Owww Lily. I wasn't the only one who said it."

"Yes, but you were the closest." She explained.

Sirius laughed at his friend, which was a mistake because seconds later Lily shot a stinging hex at him.

He grabbed his arm, as people laughed at him.

Lily smirked.

"Will you just read the damn book Black!?" Moody snapped getting irritated at the constant interruptions.

**He was not, perhaps, very comfortable lying on the hot, hard earth, but on the other hand, nobody was glaring at him,**

Lily and James looked very angry that their son was being glared at.

**grinding their teeth so loudly that he could not hear the news,**

"Why does your kid want to listen to the Muggle news?" Frank asked.

Lily and James shrugged, wondering the same thing.

**or shooting nasty questions at him,**

"I'm going to hurt Petunia for being rude to my son." Lily said dangerously.

Everyone decided it was better for their health to not challenge her.

**as had happened every time he had tried sitting down in the living room and watching television with his aunt and uncle.**

James and Lily looked livid at this.

**Almost as though this thought had fluttered through the open window, Vernon Dursley, Harry's uncle, suddenly spoke. "Glad to see the boy's stopped trying to butt in. **

"That's what you think." James muttered.

**Where is he anyway?"**

"Somewhere you'll never find him!" Sirius exclaimed.

"**I don't know," said Aunt Petunia unconcernedly. "Not in the house." **

**Uncle Vernon grunted.**

"What is he? A troll?" Gideon questioned.

"_**Watching the news**_** . . ." he said scathingly. "I'd like to know what he's really up to. As if a normal boy cares what's on the news – Dudley hasn't got a clue what's going on, doubt he knows who the Prime Minister is!**

"He says that as if it's something to be proud of." Professor McGonagall scoffed.

**Anyway, it's not as if there'd be anything about **_**his lot**_

Everyone perked up at this.

**on **_**our**_** news – "**

"Actually we are on their news quite a lot." Dumbledore stated. "Mysterious deaths and accidents caused by wizards appear on their news."

"**Vernon, **_**shh**_**!" said Aunt Petunia. "The window's open!" **

"Doesn't want people knowing she's related to 'freaks', as she so kindly puts it." Lily said angrily.

Everyone looked at each other rather scared. They hoped that Petunia started acting better, because everyone there had either heard of, or experienced firsthand, Lily's famous temper.

"**Oh – yes – sorry, dear . . ."**

**The Dursleys fell silent.**

Everyone besides Lily let out a sigh of relief.

**Harry listened to a jingle about Fruit 'N Bran breakfast cereal while he watched Mrs. Figg, a batty, cat-loving old lady from nearby Wisteria Walk, amble slowly past. She was frowning and muttering to herself.**

"I wonder why." Sirius said.

**Harry was very pleased he was concealed behind the bush; Mrs. Figg had recently taken to asking him around for tea whenever she met him in the street.**

"Well that's nice of her. Harry don't be so rude." Lily reprimanded her future son.

"Now who's talking to a book?" asked James under his breath.

Lily still heard him, and glared.

Sirius decided to help James out, and continued to read.

**She had rounded the corner and vanished from view before Uncle Vernon's voice floated out of the window again.**

Everyone groaned.

"**Dudders out for tea?"**

Everyone burst into laughter at this. (Even Moody gave a small smile.)

"D...u...u...d...d...e…r...s!" Fabian gasped through his laughter.

"Who calls their son Dudders?" James asked roaring with laughter.

After everyone had settled back down, Sirius started reading again.

"**At the Polkisses'," said Aunt Petunia fondly. "He's got so many little friends, he's so popular . . ."**

**Harry repressed a snort with difficulty. The Dursleys really were astonishingly stupid **

"Just figuring that out, Pup?" Sirius said laughing.

"Why did you call Harry, Pup?" Frank asked Sirius. Dumbledore was looking at him curiously.

James was glaring at Sirius.

"Well… it's my nickname for him." Sirius said coolly. It was easy making up lies after all these years of pranking.

"Yes, but why pup?" McGonagall inquired.

"I once got him a dog stuffed animal and he loved it." Sirius said without a second thought.

This satisfied McGonagall and Frank, but Dumbledore was still looking at him. Fabian and Gideon, being pranksters themselves, knew a lie when they heard one. They knew Sirius was keeping a secret, but they would question him about it later, when McGonagall couldn't hear them.

**about their son, Dudley;**

"And other things too." The Marauders muttered.

**They had swallowed all his dim-witted lies about having tea with a different member of his gang every night of the summer holidays. Harry knew perfectly well that Dudley had not been to tea anywhere; he and his gang spent every evening vandalizing the play park, smoking on street corners, and throwing stones at passing cars and children. **

"What a horrid boy." Marlene exclaimed.

"What teenager throws stones at children?" McGonagall questioned in rage.

**Harry had seen them at it during his evening walks around Little Whinging; he had spent most of the holidays wandering the streets, scavenging newspapers from bins along the way.**

"Okay, I'm sorry James but your kid is strange." Gideon said.

James frowned. Harry was acting strange. If he wanted Wizarding news then why didn't he just get the _Daily Prophet_?

**The opening notes of music that heralded the seven o' clock news reached Harry's ears and his stomach turned over. Perhaps tonight – after a month of waiting – would be the night – **

"What is he waiting for?" asked Lily. The suspense was killing her. She hated mysteries.

"**Record numbers of stranded holidaymakers fill airports as the Spanish baggage-handlers' strike reaches its second week – "**

"Is that what Harry was waiting for?" said James disappointed.

"Probably not Prongs." Remus answered.

"**Give 'em a lifelong siesta, I would," snarled Uncle Vernon over the end of the newsreader's sentence, but no matter: Outside in the flower bed, Harry's stomach seemed to unclench. **

"Seems as if that wasn't what Harry was waiting for." Remus said.

**If anything had happened, it would surely have been the first item on the news; death and destruction were more important than stranded holidaymakers . . . .**

"Your son is really morbid. Waiting for death and destruction." Fabian said.

"It said _'Harry's stomach seemed to unclench'_. It wouldn't have unclenched if he _wanted_ death and destruction. He just wants to be well informed." Lily said, glaring at Fabian. He shrank away from her look.

"But if he's waiting for death and destruction then it sounds as if Voldermort is still around." Marlene pointed out.

Everyone's spirits went down when they considered this.

**He let out a long, slow breath and stared up at the brilliant blue sky. Every day this summer had been the same: the tension, the expectation, the temporary relief,**

"See," Lily said. "Relief."

**and then mounting tension again . . . and always, growing more insistent all the time, the question of **_**why**_** nothing had happened yet . . .**

"That is weird." Frank said frowning.

"Why is there no death and destruction going on? I'm not complaining, but there's death and destruction almost every day now. Why is he keeping a low key in the future?" Edgar asked the room at large, but was mainly looking at Dumbledore.

"My guess would be that something happens to Voldemort in the future." Dumbledore said.

The room went silent pondering what Dumbledore had just said, until Sirius decided to continue reading.

**He kept listening, just in case there was some small clue, not recognized for what it really was by the Muggles – an unexplained disappearance, perhaps, or some strange accident . . . but the baggage-handlers' strike was followed by news on the drought in the Southeast ("I hope he's listening next door!" bellowed Uncle Vernon, "with his sprinklers on at three in the morning!");**

Lily scoffed, "As if he doesn't do the exact same thing."

**Then a helicopter that had almost crashed in a field in Surrey, then a famous actress's divorce from her famous husband ("as if we're interested in their sordid affairs," sniffed Aunt Petunia, **

"Bet she followed it obsessively in magazines for weeks, like she does now." Lily said.

**who had followed the case obsessively in every magazine she could lay her bony hands on).**

Lily smiled smugly, "Told you."

No one felt like pointing out that no one had said she was wrong.

**Harry closed his eyes against the now blazing evening sky as the newsreader said, "And finally, Bungy the budgie has found a novel way of keeping cool this summer. Bungy, who lives at the Five Feathers in Barnsley, has learned to water-ski! Mary Dorkins went to find out more. . . ."**

**Harry opened his eyes again. If they had reached water-skiing budgerigars, there was nothing else worth hearing. **

"What I don't get, is why he doesn't just get the _Daily Prophet_?" Frank asked the same question James had asked himself earlier.

Everyone shrugged.

**He rolled cautiously onto his front and raised himself onto his knees and elbows, preparing to crawl out from under the window.**

**He had moved about two inches when several things happened in very quick succession.**

**A loud, echoing **_**crack**_** broke the sleepy silence like a gunshot; **

"Sounds as if someone just Apparated or Disapparated." Said Remus, his eyes narrowing at the book.

**a cat streaked out from under a parked car and flew out of sight; a shriek, a bellowed oath,**

"Don't curse in front of my son, Dursley." Lily said angrily.

**and the sound of breaking china came from the Dursleys' living room, and as though Harry had been waiting for this signal, he jumped to his feet, at the same time pulling from the waistband of his jeans a thin wooden wand as if he were unsheathing a sword.**

"Your boy has quick reflexes." Moody said impressed. "Good constant vigilance."

James and Lily beamed at each other, and then baby Harry. That was high praise, coming from Moody.

**But before he could draw himself up to full height, the top of his head collided with the Dursleys' open window, and the resultant crash made Aunt Petunia scream even louder.**

Sirius, Fabian, and Gideon snickered, but Lily went into what they called 'psycho mother mode' and holding baby Harry tighter to her and checking the top of his head as if he would have the bruise from the future right now.

Then Remus groaned.

"What, Moony?" Sirius asked.

"Now they'll know he's hiding in the bushes.

Everyone else now groaned.

**Harry felt as if his head had been split in two; eyes streaming, he swayed, trying to focus on the street and spot the source of the noise,**

"Good job kid, don't let pain distract you." Moody said.

**but he had barely staggered upright again when two large purple hands reached through the open window and closed tightly around his throat.**

"LET GO OF MY SON DURSLEY!" both Lily and James screamed. Baby Harry looked up at his parents, startled at their shouting.

There were similar outbursts around the table. There were some very colorful words coming from Sirius, and Remus was looked more like a wolf than usual.

"_**Put – it – away!" **_**Uncle****Vernon****snarled****into****Harry's****ear**_**. "Now! Before – anyone – sees!"**_

"So concerned about your image." Lily snarled.

"**Get – off – me!" Harry gasped; for a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling his uncle's sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his wand.**

"That's right boy, keep a firm grip on that wand." Moody encouraged the book.

**Then, as the pain in the top of Harry's head gave a particularly nasty throb, Uncle Vernon yelped and released Harry as though he had received an electric shock – some invisible force seemed to have surged through his nephew, making him impossible to hold.**

"GO HARRY!" Sirius, James, Fabian, and Gideon all shouted.

Everyone else, on the other hand, was a little shocked.

"Did Harry just use accidental magic?" Remus asked.

"He can't have." Frank argued. "You stop causing accidental magic once you get a wand and go to Hogwarts."

"Not necessarily." Edgar pointed out. "Sometimes when you get angry or lose your temper you'll cause accidental magic."

"But that doesn't happen to everybody."Lily said. "I mean I have a terrible temper (here all the Marauders flinched) but I don't cause accidental magic. Usually on purpose magic." She grinned at the Marauders.

"It is usually an exceptionally talented witch or wizard who can cause accidental magic after they have started school." Dumbledore said, looking at the gurgling baby in Lily's arms.

Lily and James looked at their son in wonder, while Sirius continued reading.

**Panting, Harry fell forward over the hydrangea bush, straightened up, and stared around. There was no sign of what had caused the loud cracking noise, but there were several faces peering through various nearby windows.**

Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. "I bet his uncle loved that."

James laughed too.

**Harry stuffed his wand hastily back into his jeans**

"Keep your wand out boy! Constant Vigilance!" Moody shouted at the book.

**and tried to look innocent.**

Everyone chuckled at that.

"**Lovely evening!" shouted Uncle Vernon, waving at Mrs. Number Seven, who was glaring from behind her net curtains. "Did you hear that car backfire just now?**

"So he's going to try to push this off as something not magical." James said.

"How do you know that it really wasn't just a car just backfiring hmmmm….?" Lily challenged.

"Because I can just tell." James replied confidently.

Lily decided not to argue this pointless matter, especially when James was probably right, and motioned for Sirius to continue reading.

**Gave Petunia and me quite a turn!"**

**He continued to grin in a horrible, maniac way until all the curious neighbors had disappeared from their various windows, then the grin became a grimace of rage as he beckoned Harry towards him.**

"Don't get within reach of his hands, Harry." Lily warned.

**Harry moved a few steps closer, taking care to stop just short of the point at which Uncle Vernon's outstretched hands could resume strangling.**

"Good." Everyone said.

"**What the **_**devil**_** do you mean by it, boy?" asked Uncle Vernon in a croaky voice that trembled with fury.**

"**What do I mean by what" said Harry coldly. He kept looking left and right up the street, **

"Good, stay alert." Mad-Eye urged.

**still hoping to see the person who had made the cracking noise.**

"I don't know if he should hope for that." Lily said worriedly thinking it could be someone not friendly.

"**Making racket like a starting pistol right outside our –"**

"He thinks Harry made that noise!" Lily exclaimed comprehension dawning.

"**I didn't make that noise," said Harry firmly.**

**Aunt Petunia's thin, horsey face now appeared beside Uncle Vernon's wide, purple one. She looked livid.**

"**Why were you lurking under our window?"**

"**Yes – yes, good point, Petunia!**_** What were you doing under our window, boy?"**_

"**Listening to the news." Said Harry in a resigned voice.**

"Ahh, Harry, don't tell the truth. Lie and say you were just comfortable laying there." Sirius said to the book.

"Don't encourage my son to lie, Black." Lily told him.

"But it's to the Dursleys." Sirius pointed out.

"Okay, maybe this time it would have been better to lie." Lily conceded.

**His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage.**

"**Listening to the news! **_**Again?"**_

"**Well, it changes every day, you see," said Harry.**

All the pranksters in the room broke out laughing and a few of the others chuckled.

"He's got your cheek, Lily." James told his wife.

Lily grinned. As long as he only said cheeky things to his aunt and uncle, she was fine with it.

"**Don't you be clever with me, boy! I want to know what you're really up to – and don't give me any more of this **_**listening to the news**_** tosh!**

"But that's the truth!" Lily cried. "Would you rather him lie?"

**You know perfectly well that **_**your lot . . ."**_

"He's too scared to even say wizards or witches." Edgar scoffed.

"**Careful, Vernon!" breathed Aunt Petunia, and Uncle Vernon lowered his voice so that Harry could barely hear him, ". . . that **_**your lot**_** don't get on **_**our**_** news!"**

"**That's all you know," said Harry.**

The pranksters laughed and Gideon said, "I love your son James. He knows how to push people's buttons."

**The Dursleys goggled at him for a few seconds, then Aunt Petunia said, "You're a nasty little liar.**

"No he isn't. He's actually quite honest." Lily said angrily.

**What are all those –" she too lowered her voice so that Harry had to lip-read the next word, "– **_**owls**_** – doing if they're not bringing you news?"**

"So it seems as if he is getting the _Daily Prophet_." Frank commented.

"The owls could be from his friends." James pointed out.

"If he has any." Fabian teased.

"Of course he does." James waved the idea of Harry having no friends away as impossibility. "He's a Potter; he probably has loads of friends."

"So modest aren't we?" Sirius asked his friend.

"Of course." James replied grinning.

Lily rolled her eyes at her husband.

"**Aha!" said Uncle Vernon in a triumphant whisper. "Get out of that one, boy! As if we didn't know you get all your news from those pestilential birds!"**

**Harry hesitated for a moment. It cost him something to tell the truth this time, even though his aunt and uncle could not possibly know how bad Harry felt at admitting it.**

"Then don't." Sirius said simply.

"My son is not a liar, Black." Lily said.

The glare that Lily was giving Sirius made him gulp and continue reading.

"**The owls . . . aren't bringing me news," said Harry tonelessly.**

"But if he is getting the _Prophet_ then why is it not giving him any news." Remus said frowning.

"**I don't believe it," said Aunt Petunia at once.**

"**No more do I," said Uncle Vernon forcefully.**

"**We know you're up to something funny," said Aunt Petunia.**

"**We're not stupid, you know," said Uncle Vernon.**

Most of the room snorted at this.

"**Well, **_**that's **_**news to me," said Harry,**

Most of the room laughed at this.

Lily on the other hand looked worried, "Now he'll be in trouble."

"Who cares? It was brilliant!"Sirius exclaimed, and started reading before Lily got a chance to go on a rant about when not to cross the lines and the importance of rules.

**his temper rising, and before the Dursleys could call him back, he had wheeled about, crossed the front lawn, stepped over the low garden wall, and was striding off up the street.**

Lily groaned. Her son seemed to get James's '_do_ _first_ _before_ _thinking_ _of_ _the_ _consequences'_ attitude.

**He was in trouble now and he knew it. He would have to face his aunt and uncle later and pay the price for his rudeness, but he did not care very much just at the moment; he had much more pressing matters on his mind.**

**Harry was sure the cracking noise had been made by someone Apparating or Disapparating. It was exactly the sound Dobby the house-elf made when he vanished into thin air.**

"Why does he reference a house-elf Disapparating rather than us?" James asked, though he had a hunch and gripped his wife tighter.

Sirius continued to read because he didn't want to contemplate what that might mean.

**Was it possible that Dobby was here in Privet Drive?**

"Probably not." Edgar said.

**Could Dobby be following him right at this very moment? As this thought occurred he wheeled around and stared back down Privet Drive, but it appeared to be completely deserted again and Harry was sure that Dobby did not know how to become invisible. . . .**

**He walked on, hardly aware of the route he was taking, for he had pounded these streets so often lately that his feet carried him to his favorite haunts automatically. Every few steps he glanced back over his shoulder.**

"Good." Moody growled. "Constant Vigilance!"

**Someone magical had been near him as he lay among Aunt Petunia's dying begonias, he was sure of it. Why hadn't they spoken to him, why hadn't they made contact, why were they hiding now?**

"HARRY, maybe they're not friendly wizards or witches and you don't want them to make contact with you?" Lily yelled. Baby Harry looked up startled.

Sirius decided to just ignore her and keep reading and severely hoped his godson would stop thinking such things.

**And then, as his feeling of frustration peaked, his certainty leaked away.**

**Perhaps it hadn't been a magical sound after all. Perhaps he was so desperate for the tiniest sign of contact from the world to which he belonged that he was simply overreacting to perfectly ordinary noises. Could he be **_**sure**_** it hadn't been the sound of something breaking inside a neighbor's house?**

**Harry felt a dull, sinking sensation in his stomach and, before he knew it, the feeling of hopelessness that had plagued him all summer rolled over him once again. . . .**

**Tomorrow morning he would be awoken by the alarm at five o 'clock so that he could pay the owl that delivered the **_**Daily Prophet**_

"So he is getting the_ Daily Prophet." _Frank said.

– **but was there any point in continuing to take it? Harry merely glanced at the front page before throwing it aside these days; when the idiots who ran the paper finally realized that Voldemort was back**

There was a few seconds of silence following this sentence, then –

"Back?"

"What does he mean, back?"

"As in he was gone?"

Dumbledore shot a few sparks into the air.

"I believe the main concern right now is not that he was ever gone, but that he is now back." Dumbledore said.

"Yes, but what caused him to leave in the first place? And how long was he gone?" Remus asked.

Dumbledore shrugged and said, "Alas, I do not know. But I think all will be revealed if we keep reading." He motioned for Sirius to continue, but before Sirius could begin he was interrupted by Lily who had been the only one quite since Sirius had read the last sentence.

"But how would my son know that Voldemort was back, but not the _Prophet_?" she said quietly.

James looked at her in horror at what she was implying. But before he could say anything Dumbledore smiled at Lily and said, "He is a son, godson, and surrogate nephew of four members of the Order. I'm sure you would have told him."

This calmed Lily down and she motioned for Sirius to continue.

**it would be headline news.**

"Of course it would be." Dedalas said.

**And that was the only news Harry cared about.**

**If he was lucky, there would also be owls carrying letters from his best friends, Ron and Hermione.**

"SEE!" James shouted victoriously. "He does have friends. Wait, isn't Hermione a girl's name?"

"Yes. Why?"Lily responded.

"Well, it's just weird that he has a girl best friend." James responded.

Lily smacked him. "JAMES! Harry can have any kind of friend he wants."

"Okay, okay" James said, ignoring everyone laughing at him.

"Maybe she's more than a friend."Sirius suggested while wiggling his eyebrows.

Lily rounded on Sirius, "He can have a girl best friend and they can be just that, FRIENDS!"

Sirius cowered away from Lily, while everyone now laughed at him.

Lily looked over at Alice and saw that she looked upset about something. "What's wrong Alice?"

"I thought Harry and Neville were going to be friends." She answered.

"They probably are friends. It just said his two _best_ friends."

This seemed to cheer Alice up.

"Isn't Molly's youngest son named Ron?" Gideon whispered to his brother.

"Yeah, and he would be about Harry's age." Fabian whispered back.

Both grinned. Their nephew was probably James's son's best friend. They were rather fond of the younger boy and his friends' antics. They were great pranksters (even better than them, though they'd never admit it.) The only people who Fabian and Gideon knew who also showed signs of being great pranksters were their two nephews, Fred and George (they were twins also), but since they were only 2 years old they couldn't really tell yet.

**Though any expectations that he had had that their letters would bring him news had long since been dashed.**

"_**We can't say much about you-know-what, obviously. . . ." "We've been told not to say anything important in case our letters go astray. . . ." "We're quite busy but I can't give you details here. . . ." "There's a fair amount going on, we'll tell you everything when we see you. . . ."**_

"That would get irritating." James said.

"Yeah, but they have a good point. They don't want to put in something important and then get the l letter intercepted."Lily said.

"Doesn't stop it from being annoying." James huffed.

**But when were they going to see him? Nobody seemed too bothered with a precise date. Hermione had scribbled, "**_**I expect we'll be seeing you quite soon"**_** inside his birthday card, but how soon was soon? As far as Harry could tell from the vague hints in their letters, Hermione and Ron were in the same place, presumably at Ron's parents' house. He could hardly bare to think of the pair of them having fun at the Burrow when he was stuck in Privet Drive.**

The Fabian and Gideon's grins had grown wider when Sirius read that Ron lived at the Burrow. That was where Molly and Arthur were currently living.

**In fact, he was so angry at them that he had thrown both their birthday presents of Honeydukes chocolates away unopened, **

"WHAT?!" both Sirius and Remus yelled.

"Don't take your anger out on the perfectly good chocolate." Remus said.

**though he had regretted this after eating the wilting salad Aunt Petunia had provided for dinner that night. **

"Should have kept the chocolate, pup." Sirius mumbled.

**And what were Ron and Hermione busy with? Why wasn't he, Harry, busy? Hadn't he proved himself capable of handling much more than they?**

"And how did you prove yourself?" Lily asked worried.

**Had they all forgotten what he had done?**

"WHAT HAS HE DONE?!" Everyone in the room shouted (besides Dumbledore).

It startled both babies, and they started to cry. Alice and Lily were able to calm them down quickly, and Sirius continued reading.

**Hadn't it been **_**he**_** who had entered that graveyard **

"Why would he be in a graveyard?" James asked.

**and watched Cedric being murdered **

Everyone gasped.

"That's horrible." Alice said.

"My poor baby boy." Lily said, hugging baby Harry.

**and been tied to a tombstone and nearly killed . . . ?**

"WHAT?!" Everyone cried.

Lily burst into tears and nuzzled her head against baby Harry.

James embraced her and Harry tightly.

Alice was patting Lily on the back and Sirius and Remus had gotten up to give Lily a hug.

While this was going on everyone else sat there shocked.

A few minutes later, Lily wiped her eyes and said she was alright.

Sirius decided it was better to just keep reading instead of letting people ask questions about how this happened and why and by whom, that would only upset Lily more.

_**Don't think about that, **_**Harry told himself sternly for the hundredth time that summer. It was bad enough that he kept revisiting the graveyard in his nightmares, without dwelling on it in his waking moments too.**

Lily clutched her baby even tighter at hearing about him having nightmares about being almost killed.

**He turned a corner into Magnolia Crescent; halfway along he passed the narrow alleyway down the side of a garage where he had first clapped eyes on his godfather.**

Sirius grinned at being mentioned. His grin quickly turned into a frown.

"Why would that be the first place he's seen me? And why should he even have a place to remember first seeing me. I should have always been around so that I was there as far back as he could remember? And if I was able to write Harry letters, why wasn't he staying with me, as I'm obviously not out on a mission?"

Nobody wanted to think about what this meant.

**Sirius, at least, seemed to understand how Harry was feeling;**

"Of course I do. That's my job as godfather."

**admittedly his letters were just as empty of proper news as Ron and Hermione's, but at least they contained words of caution and consolation instead of tantalizing hints:**

"_**I know this must be frustrating for you. . . ." "Keep your nose clean and everything will be okay. . . ." "Be careful and don't do anything rash. . . ."**_

James was howling in laughter by the end of the sentence. Remus and the twins were also laughing, just not as hard.

"You . . . trying to tell someone else . . . to keep their nose clean . . . and not do anything rash!" James gasped through his laughter.

By now most of the room was laughing.

"I can be serious when I want to." Sirius said pouting.

"I thought you were always Sirius, Pads."James said and everyone broke out laughing again.

"Hey, that's my joke Potter." Sirius said brandishing his wand.

James took out his wand, but before they could do anything Lily summoned their wands.

"Stop acting like two year olds." She reprimanded.

"Okay." They said.

"Now can we please have are wands back Lily?" Sirius begged.

"Promise you won't start dueling each other."Lily demanded.

"We promise." They said at the same time.

Giving each of them a glare she handed them their wand back.

McGonagall looked impressed at how well Lily had the Marauders whipped. She wished she had known how to do that when they were in school. It would have made her life a whole lot easier.

**Well, thought Harry, as he crossed Magnolia Crescent, turned into Magnolia Road, and headed toward the darkening play park, he had (by and large) done as Sirius advised; he had at least resisted the temptation to tie his trunk to his broomstick and set off for the Burrow by himself.**

"Good." Lily said, while the Marauders snickered at Harry's plan. He sounded just like James.

**In fact Harry thought his behavior had been very good considering how frustrated and angry he felt at being stuck in Privet Drive this long,**

"Sounds as if he usually leaves sooner."Sirius said trying to see the bright side.

"But it also sounds as if he goes there often." Frank pointed out. Sirius looked put out at this.

**reduced to hiding in flower beds in the hope of hearing something that might point to what Lord Voldemort was doing.**

Frank looked thoughtful at this. "When it said someone tried to kill Harry (here Lily flinched), it might have meant Voldemort."

"NO!" Lily yelled, she didn't even want to think of her precious, innocent baby coming in a thousand feet of Voldemort. "How would he even be alive if he had faced Voldemort?"

"I don't know." Frank said cowering under her glare. He didn't press his point, not wanting to upset her, but it really did make the most sense. He guessed he would just have to wait for things to be revealed in the book. Most of the other people in the room were thinking the same thing as Frank. Dumbledore thought that it was very likely, seeing as the prophecy said that either Harry or Neville would be the person to defeat Voldemort (or die trying). He had refrained from telling both sets of parents so far. He really wasn't looking forward to that conversation. He might be one of the greatest wizard's of all time, but, truth be told, he was just the tiniest bit afraid of Lily.

**Nevertheless, it was quite galling to be told not to be rash by a man**

"By a man who has done more rash things than I can count." James supplied laughing.

Sirius started muttering things that sounded like "… can be sensible if I want to…..he is my godson…not totally irresponsible…" This only caused James to laugh harder. Sirius pouted and decided to continue reading.

**who had served twelve years in the wizard prison, Azkaban,**

Sirius dropped the book. There was a few seconds of a silence while people digested this.

"What did you do, Sirius?" James asked stunned.

"BLACK!" Moody roared**.**

"I haven't done anything. Yet. This is my future self." Sirius said shuddering at the thought of what he had done to earn 12 years in Azkaban. He shuddered again when he thought that he had to spend 12 years in Azkaban.

"Maybe because you're the spy, Black." Moody growled.

James jumped up at this. "TAKE THAT BACK MOODY! I'D TRUST SIRIUS WITH MY LIFE!"

Moody opened his mouth to reply, but Lily interrupted, "Can we please just read before we make judgments. Sit down James. "

James sat and Moody calmed down but was still glaring at Sirius.

**escaped,**

"WHAT!" everyone yelled stunned.

There was another second of silence.

Then James raised his hand for a high-five, "DUDE, you broke out of Azkaban! No one has ever done that before!"

Sirius, who had been sitting stunned, grinned. He gave James a high-five and said, "Don't be so surprised Prongs, you should know by know not to underestimate my awesomeness."

"So modest aren't we?" Remus asked grinning at his friend.

"How did you break out of Azkaban?" asked McGonagall shocked.

Sirius shrugged and continued reading.

**attempted to commit the murder he had been convicted for in the first place,**

"SIRIUS!" Lily and McGonagall reprimanded.

"Well it sounds as if he was innocent." James said looking pointedly at Moody.

"I must have had a good reason for wanting to kill that person." Sirius said still a little shocked at his future self.

Edgar sighed; he was tired of these interruptions. "How about we read and find out."

**then gone on the run with a stolen hippogriff...**

Everyone was now staring at Sirius with their, mouths open.

James was pouting. Lily looked at him and pulled him into a side hug, "It's okay James. You'll get to see Sirius again. And during those twelve years you could even go and visit Sirius."

James looked at her. "That's not why I'm upset."

Lily looked confused, "Then why?"

"Sirius gets to be cool." Sirius laughed at this. Lily on the other hand took her hand from around James and hit him over the head while calling him a prat.

Everyone laughed.

**Harry vaulted over the locked park gate and set off across the parched grass. The park was as empty as the surrounding streets. When he reached the swings he sank onto the only one that Dudley and his friends had not yet managed to break, coiled one arm around the chain, and stared moodily at the ground.**

"Oh, a moody teenager. That's not good."Sirius said. He was then on the end of a stinging hex by an irritated red head.

**He would not be able to hide in the Dursley's flower bed again.**

"That's too bad. That really was a good hiding place." Fabian sighed.

**Tomorrow he would have to think of some fresh way of listening to the news. In the meantime, he had nothing to look forward to but another restless, disturbed night, **

Lily sighed.

**because even when he escaped nightmares about Cedric he had unsettling dreams about long dark corridors, all finishing in dead ends and locked doors, which he supposed had something to do with the trapped feeling he had when he was awake.**

"Ookayyyy….." James said worrying about his son.

**Often the old scar on his forehead**

"Scar? What scar? He doesn't have a scar?" Lily fretted combing her son's forehead for a scar.

James hugged Lily, "He doesn't have it yet, Lils."

"Right." Lily blushed.

**prickled uncomfortably,**

Lily looked at Dumbledore. "Is that normal?"

Dumbledore was frowning in concentration. "I don't believe I've ever heard of that happening before."

This did nothing to help calm Lily down.

**but he did not fool himself that Ron or Hermione or Sirius would find that very interesting**

"I do find that very interesting." Sirius pouted.

**anymore…**

"Oh." Said Sirius.

"Does that mean it's happened before?" Lily asked.

Seeing as no one could answer her Sirius kept reading.

**In the past his scar hurting had warned**

"Excuse me, warned?" James asked.

"Yes, that's what it says Prongs." An irritated Sirius replied.

James huffed, "It's just weird. I've never heard of a scar '_warning'_ someone before."

**that Voldemort was getting stronger again, **

There was another silence at this.

Then Lily whispered, "Why would Harry's scar warn him that Voldemort was getting stronger? That makes no sense. Unless…"

"Unless the scar is from Voldemort." Edgar finished. "But that still wouldn't make sense. Scars don't do that."

Lily shuddered and began to cry while James hugged her.

"He could be wrong, we don't know." James said trying to sooth her.

Lily wiped her eyes and tried to smile but couldn't quite manage it.

Everyone was looking at Harry.

Sirius once again decided it would be better if he just continued reading.

**But now that Voldemort was back they would probably remind him that its regular irritation was only to be expected…Nothing to worry about…old news…**

**The injustice of it all welled up inside him so that he wanted to yell with fury.**

"You should definitely do that Harry." Gideon laughed.

"Yeah. It's not good to keep all that anger bottled up." Fabian laughed too.

Lily sent a stinging jinx at both of them.

**If it hadn't been for him, nobody would even have known Voldemort was back!**

"WHAT!" Lily and James exclaimed.

Everyone was shocked.

"He saw Voldemort return?" Remus breathed.

"And lived to tell the tale." Marlene added in awe.

Lily was beginning to hyperventilate. "Lily breathe. He's ok. He's alive." James tried to reassure his wife.

"But how?" Moody asked. "He's only 15. There is no way he could escape Voldemort."

"That means I was probably right and Voldemort was the one who tied him to a tombstone and..." Frank was saying, before he was cut off from his wife slapping him for being insensitive. Luckily Lily wasn't paying attention and didn't hear him, though James shot him a look telling him to shut up.

Dumbledore, who had had a thoughtful look on his face this whole time, finally spoke up, "Let us continue to find out how Mr. Potter performed this extraordinary feet."

**And his reward was to be stuck in Little Whinging for four solid weeks, completely cut off from the magical world, reduced to squatting among dying begonias so that he could hear about water-skiing budgerigars! How could Dumbledore have forgotten him so easily?**

Lily was glaring at Dumbledore.

He raised his hands in defense. "I haven't done it yet Mrs. Potter. And I assume I have my reasons."

Lily blushed and apologized.

"It's quite alright. You are of course worried for your son."

Lily smiled at her kind, old headmaster.

**Why had Ron and Hermione got together without inviting him along too?**

James frowned at that. Why would his friends not invite him too? He knew Harry was going to be really upset about this because he, James, would have been upset if Remus, Sirius, and Peter got together without him.

**How much longer was he supposed to endure Sirius telling him to sit tight and be a good boy;**

James lips switched at that. That sentence sounded so wrong. Sirius telling someone to sit tight and be a good boy. He shook his head.

**or resist the temptation to write to the stupid **_**Daily Prophet**_** and point out that Voldemort had returned?**

Everyone chuckled at this.

"I'd love to see their faces if he did it." Sirius laughed.

**These furious thoughts whirled around in Harry's head, and his insides writhed with anger as a sultry, velvety night fell around him, the air full of the smell of warm, dry grass and the only sound that of the low grumble of traffic on the road beyond the park railings.**

**He did not know how long he sat on the swing before the sound of voices interrupted his musings and he looked up.**

Lily clutched James's arm.

**The streetlamps from the surrounding roads were casting a misty glow strong enough to silhouette a group of people making their way across the park.**

Lily was clutching James's arm so hard now that it was drawing blood.

**One of them was singing a loud, crude song. The others were laughing. A soft ticking noise came from several expensive racing bikes that were wheeling along.**

Lily lessened her hold on James's arm. If they were riding bikes they couldn't be Death Eaters.

**Harry knew who those people were. The figure in front was unmistakably his cousin, Dudley Dursley, wending his way home, accompanied by his faithful gang.**

By now Lily had completely let go of James's arm and he was rubbing it repeatedly. She smiled apologetically at him.

"Wasn't that the horrible boy who threw stones at children?" Alice asked.

At this Lily clutched James's arm again, worried that the boys would hurt Harry.

James grimaced, "Thank you Alice."

"Sorry." Alice mouthed.

"Lils, Harry's a wizard." James tried to reassure her.

"He's not allowed to use magic outside of school." She stated.

James decided it would be best not to argue and let Sirius continue reading.

**Dudley was as vast as ever, but a year's hard dieting and the discovery of a new talent had wrought quite a change in his physique. As Uncle Vernon delightedly told anyone who would listen,**

"So no one then." Gideon laughed.

**Dudley had recently become the Junior Heavyweight Inter-School Champion of the Southeast.**

"Muggle sport where they beat each other up." Lily said before anyone could ask.

"Sounds lovely." Dorcas muttered.

"**The noble sport," as Uncle Vernon called it, had made Dudley even more formidable than he had seemed to Harry in the primary school days when he had served as Dudley's first punching bag.**

Lily sobbed at that, while Sirius and Remus both let out a menacing growl. James looked simply furious.

**Harry was not remotely afraid of his cousin anymore**

"Good." James murmured as Lily stopped clutching his arm.

**but he still didn't think that Dudley learning to punch harder and more accurately was cause for celebration.**

"I would think not." McGonagall exclaimed.

**Neighborhood children all around were terrified of him – even more terrified than they were of "that Potter boy"**

"What?" James asked.

**who, they had been warned, was a hardened hooligan who attended St. Brutus's Secure Center for Incurably Criminal Boys.**

"Excuse me!" Lily exclaimed.

"I guess that's where they say he goes when he leaves for Hogwarts." Remus suggested. He was secretly thinking why they wouldn't just say that he goes to stay with his parents, but he knew what that would suggest and it was a horrible thought. A lot of the others in the room were thinking along the same lines.

**Harry watched the dark figures crossing the grass and wondered whom they had been beating up tonight.**

"That's a pleasant thought." Sturgis commented.

_**Look round, **_**Harry found himself thinking as he watched them.**

"Why?" Lily said hoping that it wasn't why she thought it was.

Meanwhile Sirius, Fabian, and Gideon were smiling, and James was scooting as discreetly as possible away from Lily.

_**Come on . . . look round . . . I'm sitting here all alone . . . Come and have a go . . .**_

"HARRY JAMES POTTER! DON'T GO LOOKING FOR A FIGHT!" Lily yelled, and then she rounded on James. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT JAMES! THOSE ARE _YOUR _GENES!"

James by now was cowering, while everyone was laughing at his expense, none more so than Sirius.

McGonagall was shaking her head, thinking how she would have to teach another James Potter.

"Please can you continue reading Padfoot?" James begged as Lily continued to yell about him being a bad influence.

"Not while Lily is yelling." Sirius said looking scared at the idea of getting Lily upset at him.

"Mrs. Potter, can we please continue reading?" Dumbledore asked.

"Of course." Lily said calming down, but still glaring at James.

**If Dudley's friends saw him sitting here, they would be sure to make a beeline for him, and what would Dudley do then? He wouldn't want to lose face in front of the gang, but he'd be terrified of provoking Harry. . . . **

The pranksters in the room were trying not to laugh.

**It would be really fun to watch Dudley's dilemma; to taunt him, with him powerless to respond . . . **

Now the pranksters were chuckling softly. Harry really knew how to push people's buttons.

**and if any of the others tried hitting Harry, Harry was ready – he had his wand . . . **

"Harry you can't. You'll get in trouble for underage magic."Lily fretted.

**let them try . . . He'd love to vent some of his frustration on the boys who had once made his life hell.**

Sirius,Remus,Lily,andJameslookedmadaboutthis**.**

"Come on Lily, don't you want Harry to get revenge on those boys." James tried to plead with her.

"He'll get in trouble. And revenge isn't the answer, James." Though she seemed a little reluctant.

**But they did not see him; they were almost at the railings.**

"Good." Lily said.

**Harry mastered the impulse to call after them.**

"Better than what James would have done." Lily said glaring at her husband.

**Seeking s fight was not a smart move. . . . **

"So he did get some of my brains."

**He must not use magic. . . . He would be risking expulsion again. . . .**

"Again?!" Lily said in a deadly voice.

Sirius quickly continued reading before Lily could work herself up.

**Dudley's gang's voices died; they were out of sight, heading along Magnolia Road.**

Lily let out a breath of relief.

_**There you go Sirius, **_**Harry****thought****dully**_**. Nothing rash. Kept my **_**nose**_** clean. Exactly the opposite of what you'd have done . . . **_

Everyone burst out laughing at this while Sirius pouted.

"You know its true Pads." James said through his laughter.

"Yeah, Padfoot, you know you would have started a fight." Remus laughed.

Sirius's lips twitched. "Ok, maybe it's true." Then he joined in the laughter.

After everyone had stopped laughing Sirius continued.

**He got to his feet and stretched. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon seemed to feel that whenever Dudley turned up was the right time to be home, and anytime after that was much too late.**

Lily just rolled her eyes at this while Alice exclaimed, "That's hardly fair!"

**Uncle Vernon had threatened to lock Harry in the shed if he came home after Dudley again,**

Lily looked murderous at that and James clenched his fists.

**so, stifling a yawn, still scowling, Harry set off toward the park gate.**

**Magnolia Road, like Privet Drive, was full of large, square houses with perfectly manicured lawns, all owned by large, square owners who drove very clean cars similar to Uncle Vernon's. Harry preferred Little Whinging by night, when the curtained windows made patches of jewel-bright colors in the darkness and he ran no danger of hearing disapproving mutters about his "delinquent" appearance when he passed the householders.**

"Not his fault." Lily muttered.

**He walked quickly, so that halfway along Magnolia Road Dudley's gang came into view again;**

"Don't start a fight Harry." Lily warned.

**they were saying their farewells at the entrance to Magnolia Crescent. Harry stepped into the shadow of a large lilac tree and waited.**

Lily let out a breath of relief.

"**. . . squealed like a pig, didn't he?" Malcolm was saying, to guffaws from others.**

"Are they talking about who they beat up?" Benjy asked disgusted.

"**Nice right hook, Big D," said Piers.**

"Oh, so now he's Big D with his friends." James smirked.

"**Same time tomorrow?" said Dudley.**

"**Round at my place, my parents are out," said Gordon.**

Gideon slammed his head on the table. Everyone looked startled.

"What was that for?" asked Sturgis who was sitting next to him.

Fabian was laughing, because he realized what Gideon was upset about, "He's upset because the name Gordon is too close to Gideon for his liking."

Gideon pouted as everyone laughed at him. "Can we please just continue reading?" He said, now wishing he hadn't slammed his head on the table (for one because it caused everyone to laugh at him, and for two it was really beginning to hurt.)

"**See you then," said Dudley.**

"**Bye Dud!"**

"**See ya, Big D!"**

James smirked again. "I really wish his friends knew what his parents called him."

**Harry waited for the rest of the gang to move on before setting off again. When their voices had faded once more he headed around the corner into Magnolia Crescent and by walking very quickly he soon came within hailing distance of Dudley, who was strolling along at ease, humming tunelessly. **

"Please don't start a fight Harry." Lily begged the book.

"**Hey, Big D!"**

Lily groaned while James smirked.

**Dudley turned.**

"**Oh," he grunted.**

"So his father taught him to speak troll like him." Gideon said.

"**It's you."**

"Don't sound so excited." Remus muttered.

"**How long have you been 'Big D' then?" said Harry.**

"Pushing button." Fabian said in a singsong voice Peeves worthy.

"**Shut it," snarled Dudley, turning away again.**

"Don't tell my son to shut it." Lily said indignantly.

"**Cool name," said Harry, grinning and falling in step beside his cousin.**

"Somehow I don't get the feeling Harry means that." Aberforth said.

"**But you'll always be Ickle Diddkins to me."**

Everyone laughed.

"That's a great one." Sirius laughed.

Lily looked angry all of a sudden. "He's going to start a fight."

The Marauders all shrugged. This made Lily even angrier. Sirius quickly started reading before Lily could unleash her wrath on them.

"**I said, SHUT IT!" said Dudley, **

"And I told you not to tell my son to shut it!" Lily said angrily.

**whose ham-like hands had curled into fists.**

"If you touch Harry, Dudley..." James trailed off ominously.

"**Don't the boys know that's what your mum calls you?"**

Lily groaned, resigned to the fact that Harry was his father's son.

"**Shut your face."**

Sirius growled at that.

"**You don't tell **_**her**_** to shut her face. **

Even Lily couldn't resist joining in the laughter at this.

**What about 'popkin' and 'Dinky Diddydums,' can I use them then?"**

There was a renewed burst of laughter.

The Prewitt twins turned to each other.

"Would you like some tea and biscuits, popkin?" Fabian asked in a pompous voice, holding up an imaginary plate.

"Why yes I would Diddyums." Gideon replied in the same voice.

Then suddenly a real plate with tea and biscuits appeared in Fabian's hand. Both men were so startled that they fell over.

There wasn't a straight face in the room. Neville and Harry were giggling and clapping their hands. Even Moody and McGonagall were laughing at the twins. The twins both got up looking sheepish.

"Apparently the room has a sense of humor." They said together. Then they proceeded to join in on the laughter.

After 10 minutes of nonstop laughing, everyone settled down and Sirius continued.

**Dudley said nothing. The effort of keeping himself from hitting Harry seemed to be demanding all his self-control.**

"At least he has some." Lily muttered.

"**So who've you been beating up tonight?" Harry asked, his grin fading. "Another ten-year-old? I know you did Mark Evans two nights ago –"**

James turned to Lily. "Do you think he's related to you?"

"No James. Evans isn't an uncommon name." Lily smiled at her husband.

"Oh. Ok."

"**He was asking for it," snarled Dudley.**

"Oh yeah?" James asked glaring at the book.

"**Oh yeah?"**

Everyone turned to look at James, who just shrugged and grinned.

"**He cheeked me."**

"Yeah because that's a reason to beat someone up." Sirius said sarcastically.

"You're one to talk." Lily muttered.

"**Yeah? Did he say you look like a pig that's been taught to walk on its hind legs? 'Cause that's not cheek, Dud, that's true . . ."**

There was more laughter at this.

"You can't blame that one on me Lils." James said through his laughter. "That is definitely _your_ cheek."

Lily laughed, "Your right."

"I usually am." He said cockily.

"Prat." She slapped him upside the head.

**A muscle was twitching in Dudley's jaw. It gave Harry enormous satisfaction to know how furious he was making Dudley; he felt as though he was siphoning off his own frustration into his cousin, the only outlet he had.**

Lily was trying her hardest not to get really angry.

**They turned right down the narrow alleyway where Harry had first seen Sirius and which formed a shortcut between Magnolia Crescent and Wisteria Walk.**

"He knows shortcuts."James whispered to Sirius and Remus.

"In a _Muggle_ neighborhood." Remus pointed out.

"Doesn't matter, it means he has a knack for finding hidden passages." James whispered becoming more and more excited. "He'll be good at finding them when he goes to Hogwarts. I bet he knows all of them."

"Of course he knows all of them. He doesn't need a knack for finding hidden passages; we already agreed to give him," here Sirius lowered his voice even lower, "the Marauders Map."

"Oh right." James said sheepishly.

Nobody bothered asking them what they'd been whispering about. They knew they wouldn't get a truthful answer, and anyways, most of the time with the Marauders you really didn't _want_ to know.

**It was empty and much darker than the streets it linked because there were no streetlamps. Their footsteps were muffled between garage walls on one side and a high fence on the other.**

"That sounds like a horror movie before something bad happens." Lily worried.

"Muggle thing." She added quickly before anyone could ask.

"**Think you're a big man carrying that thing, don't you?" Dudley said after a few seconds.**

"What thing?" Dedalus asked.

Everyone just rolled their eyes.

"**What thing?"**

"See, Harry wanted to know too." Dedalus exclaimed excitedly.

"**That – that thing you're hiding."**

"Too scared to even say wand." Remus muttered.

**Harry grinned again.**

"**Not as stupid as you look, are you, Dud? But I s'pose if you were, you wouldn't be able to walk and talk at the same time . . . ."**

There were some chuckles at this.

**Harry pulled out his wand.**

"Don't do anything stupid. Don't do anything stupid. Don't do anything stupid." Lily chanted under her breath.

**He saw Dudley look sideways at it.**

"**You're not allowed," Dudley said at once. "I know you're not. You'd get expelled from that freak school you go to."**

"_Freak _school?" McGonagall asked venomously.

"**How d'you know they haven't changed the rules, Big D?"**

Sirius looked up excitedly, "Maybe they have changed the no magic rule."

Remus shook his head. "They haven't, Sirius. It said so earlier in the book."

"Killjoy." Sirius muttered.

"**They haven't," said Dudley, though he didn't sound completely convinced. Harry laughed softly.**

"**You haven't got the guts to take me on without that thing, have you?" Dudley snarled. **

"And you don't have the guts to take someone on without your cronies." James said.

"Once again James, your one to talk. You wouldn't jinx Snape without Sirius, Remus, and Peter backing you up."

"Not true." James argued. "Remus wouldn't join in on fights, and Peter preferred to watch and clap. Plus, Severus usually provoked it."

Lily just rolled her eyes and told Sirius to continue.

"**Whereas you just need four mates behind you before you can beat up a ten-year-old. **

"We also only fought people our age or older. We wouldn't jinx a first year when we were 15." James pointed out.

**You know that boxing title you keep banging on about? How old was your opponent? Seven? Eight?**

"**He was sixteen for your information," snarled Dudley, "and he was out cold for twenty minutes after I'd finished with him and he was twice as heavy as you.**

"Is that a threat?" James snarled.

**You just wait till I tell Dad you had that thing out –"**

"Running to Daddy now, are you?" James asked.

"**Running to Daddy now, are you?**

Everyone turned to look at James again.

"Ok, I admit that is getting a little weird." James chuckled.

**Is his ickle boxing champ frightened of nasty Harry's wand?"**

"Of course he is." Remus told the book.

"**Not this brave at night, are you?" sneered Dudley.**

"I'm pretty sure it is night right then." Lily said.

"**This **_**is **_**night, Diddykins. That's what we call it when it goes all dark like this."**

"Wow, it's just cheeky comment after cheeky comment." Gideon teased Lily.

"**I mean when you're in bed!" Dudley snarled.**

"What is he supposed to be frightened of in bed? A Pillow or something?" James asked, confused.

"Or a nightmare." Lily whispered. Alice was the only one who heard her. She squeezed Lily's hand encouragingly.

**He had stopped walking. Harry stopped too, staring at his cousin. From the little he could see of Dudley's large face, he was wearing a strangely triumphant look.**

"**What d'you mean, I'm not brave in bed?" said Harry, completely nonplussed. "What – am I supposed to be frightened of pillows or something?"**

"That is getting really creepy!"James exclaimed.

"**I heard you last night," said Dudley breathlessly. "Talking in your sleep. **_**Moaning**_**."**

"He did have a nightmare." Lily moaned.

"**What d'you mean?" Harry said again, but there was cold, plunging sensation in his stomach. He had revisited the graveyard last night in his dreams.**

Lily winced and leaned against James, who then wrapped an arm around her.

**Dudley gave a harsh bark of laughter then adopted a high-pitched, whimpering voice. "'Don't kill Cedric! Don't kill Cedric!'**

Lily closed her eyes and clutched baby Harry.

**Who's Cedric – your boyfriend?"**

"Don't taunt him about something like that!" Remus snarled angrily. "He watched someone die. That's a really low blow."

"**I – you're lying -" said Harry automatically. But his mouth had gone dry. He knew Dudley wasn't lying – how else would he know about Cedric?**

"'**Dad! Help me, Dad!**

James stiffened.

**He's going to kill me, Dad!**

James had tears in his eyes as he rocked Lily who had begun crying. He really hoped he had saved his son.

**Boo-hoo!'"**

"I'll kill him with my two bare hands." James said angrily.

"**Shut up," said Harry quietly. "Shut up, Dudley, I'm warning you!"**

"I give you permission to curse him son." James told the book. Lily was so mad that she didn't even berate him. Actually a little part of her agreed with James.

"'**Come and help me, Dad!**

James now had tears falling down his face. Remus had come around to give James and Lily a hug. Sirius had one hand on his best mates shoulder as he kept reading in a shaking voice.

**Mum, come and help!**

At this Lily gave a sob and buried her face in James' chest. Baby Harry didn't know what was wrong, only that his mama seemed upset. He patted her on her arm. Lily looked down and gave Harry a watery smile. She tried her best to stop crying as Alice squeezed her hand.

**He's killed Cedric! Dad, help me! He's going to -' **_**Don't you point that thing at me!"**_

"Thank you Harry." James let out a relived sigh.

**Dudley backed into the alley wall. Harry was pointing the wand directly at Dudley's heart.**

"Harry." Lily moaned.

**Harry could feel fourteen years' hatred of Dudley**

"Fourteen years." Lily whispered.

"It doesn't mean anything Lily." James told her reassuringly.

Sirius continued with a slight frown on his face.

**pounding in his veins – what wouldn't he give to strike now, to jinx Dudley so thoroughly he'd have to crawl home like an insect, struck dumb, sprouting feelers –**

"Do it Harry. Come on, jinx him." James, Sirius, Remus, and the twins all encouraged.

Lily didn't argue, she was still extremely upset by what Dudley had said.

"**Don't ever talk about that again," Harry snarled. "D'you understand me?**

"**Point that thing somewhere else!"**

"**I said, **_**do you understand me?"**_

"_**Point it somewhere else!"**_

"**DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"**

Sirius shouted this part.

Everyone covered their ears. "There's no need to shout, Sirius." Lily told him.

"But that's how it is in the book." Sirius said matter of factly.

"**GET THAT THING AWAY FROM –"**

"STOP SHOUTING SIRIUS!" Lily shouted.

"YOU'RE ONE TO SHOUT!"

"IF YOU LIKE THE WAY YOUR FACE IS CURRENTLY ARRANGED, BLACK..." But Lily was cut off by McGonagall.

"WOULD BOTH OF YOU JUST SHUT UP! Mr. Black, if you could kindly continue reading."

**Dudley gave an odd, shuddering gasp, as though he had been doused in icy water.**

"What did Harry do?" Lily groaned.

"I don't think that was Harry." Frank said darkly.

"Who else…"Lily trailed off. "No, No, NO…He's probably just going into fifth year. He wouldn't know how to produce a Patronus. He wouldn't even begin learning it till this year, and then it takes a long time to master it. He probably doesn't even know what a dementor is! It just can't be a dementor!"

"Maybe it isn't Lils." James said rubbing her back, trying to calm her down. "Maybe Harry did just jinx Dudley. I mean what would a dementor be doing in a Muggle neighborhood?"

"Well we would know by know if you people would let Black continue reading." Moody growled.

**Something had happened to the night. The star-strewn indigo sky was suddenly pitch-black and lightless – the stars, the moon, the misty streetlamps at either end of the alley had vanished. The distant grumble of cars and the whispers of trees had gone. The balmy evening was suddenly piercing, bitingly cold. They were surrounded by total, impenetrable, silent darkness, as though some giant hand had dropped a thick, icy mantle over the entire alleyway, blinding them.**

Lily had clutched James' arm tighter with each sentence. That sounded like what dementors could do. And it also became less and less likely that it was a spell Harry had performed.

**For a split second Harry thought he had done magic without meaning to,**

Lily let out a breath of relief.

**despite the fact that he'd been resisting as hard as he could**

"At least he tried." Lily muttered, glaring at her husband.

– **then his reason caught up with his senses – he didn't have the power to turn off the stars.**

"Yes you do, Sweetie. Believe in yourself." Lily told the book.

Everyone was looking at her, questioning her sanity.

**He turned his head this way and that, trying to see something, but the darkness pressed on his eyes like a weightless veil.**

**Dudley's terrified voice broke in Harry's ear.**

"**W-what are you d-doing? St-stop it!"**

"**I'm not doing anything!**

"Nooo..."Lily moaned.

**Shut up and don't move!"**

"Listen to him, Dursley." James said commandingly.

"**I c-can't see! I've g-gone blind! I -"**

"**I said shut up!"**

"Some of the best advice you'll ever get, Big D." Gideon said.

**Harry stood stock-still, turning his sightless eyes left and right.**

"A lot of good that will do." Marlene muttered.

**The cold was so intense that he was shivering all over; goose bumps had erupted up his arms, and the hairs on the back of his neck were standing up – he opened his eyes to their fullest extent, staring blankly around, unseeing . . .**

**It was impossible . . . . They couldn't be here. . . .**

"At least he knows what dementors are." Lily said.

**Not in Little Whinging . . . He strained his ears. . . . He would hear them before he saw them. . . .**

Lily frowned. "How would he know that much about dementors?"

"**I'll t-tell Dad!" Dudley whimpered. "W-where are you? What are you d-do - ?"**

"Will you shut up?" James hissed, "He is trying to listen."

"**Will you shut up?" Harry hissed, "I'm trying to lis – "**

James through his hands up in the air. "This isn't normal."

Then he frowned. "Padfoot, why didn't you finish saying listen?"

"Because Harry stopped talking, unlike you." Sirius replied.

**But he fell silent. **

"Why?" Lily asked worriedly.

**He had heard just the thing he had been dreading.**

Lily moaned and buried her head in James' chest.

**There was something in the alleyway apart from themselves, something that was drawing long, hoarse, rattling breaths.**

Everyone shivered.

"That is quite an accurate description of what a dementor sounds like." Alice said shakily

**Harry felt a horrible jolt of dread as he stood trembling in the freezing air.**

"**C-cut it out! Stop doing it!**

"He's not doing anything." Edgar said exasperated.

**I'll h-hit you, I swear I will!"**

"You can't hit him! He needs to be able to run away from the dementor." Lily said frantically.

"Why run away? Why not fight?" James asked.

"Because he hasn't even started fifth year! There is NO WAY that he could fight a dementor." Lily explained.

"Oh..Right." James said sheepishly.

"**Dudley, shut -"**

_**WHAM!**_

"He did not just hit Harry?" Lily asked closing her eyes.

"He did." Sirius told her venomously.

James was too angry for words.

**A fist made contact with the side of Harry's head, lifting Harry off his feet.**

Lily winced.

**Small white lights popped in front of Harry's eyes; for the second time in an hour he felt as though his head had been cleaved in two; next moment he had landed hard on the ground, and his wand had flown out of his hand.**

"NO!" Everyone shouted. Even though Harry couldn't fight off the dementor, it was very bad for him not to have his wand.

"**You moron, Dudley!"**

"My sentiments exactly." Said Fabian.

**Harry yelled, his eyes watering with pain, as he scrambled to his hands and knees now feeling around frantically in the blackness.**

"Harry just get out of there." Lily pleaded.

**He heard Dudley blundering away, hitting the alley fence, stumbling.**

"**DUDLEY, COME BACK! YOU'RE RUNNING RIGHT AT IT!"**

"Oh no." Lily said. She didn't particularly like Dudley, but that didn't mean that she wanted his soul sucked out of him. Most of the occupants in the room felt the same.

**There was a horrible squealing yell, and Dudley's footsteps stopped.**

Lily gasped, assuming the worst.

**At the same moment, Harry felt a creeping chill behind him that could only mean one thing.**

"Has Harry encountered a dementor before, because he seems to know the characteristics of them very well?" Frank asked.

"I hope not." Lily said tearfully. This book was making her very emotional.

**There was more than one.**

"NO!" Lily, James, Sirius, and Remus shouted. Everyone else just groaned.

"**DUDLEY, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! WHATEVER YOU DO, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!**

"Good advice Harry." Elphias said.

**Wand!"**

"Yeah because that's going to help." Fabian said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. He then cowered under the glare Lily sent him.

**Harry muttered frantically, his hands flying over the ground like spiders.**

Fabian and Gideon shuddered. They both hated spiders.

"**Where's – wand –come on – **_**Lumos!"**_

"That won't help either Harry." James said gently.

**He said the spell automatically; desperate for light to help him in his search – and to his disbelieving relief, light flared inches from his right hand**

"What!?" Everyone asked.

– **the wand tip had ignited.**

Everyone was stunned.

"Okay accidental magic is one thing, but this…" Frank trailed off.

"Well I would venture to say that Harry is quite an exceptional wizard." Dumbledore said, with that twinkle of his in his eyes.

Lily and James grinned at baby Harry.

**Harry snatched it up, scrambling to his feet, and turned around.**

"No, Harry, RUN!" James told the book.

"He can't leave his cousin." Lily said.

"Sure he could." Sirius muttered before continuing.

**His stomach turned over. A towering, hooded figure was gliding smoothly toward him, hovering over the ground, no feet or face visible beneath its robes, sucking on the night as it came.**

Everyone shuddered at this description.

**Stumbling backward, Harry raised his wand.**

"Harry, just run!" Lily told the book frantically. "You don't know how to fight a dementor."

"_**Expecto Patronum!"**_

Everyone's mouths dropped open.

"He does know the Patronus charm." Lily said faintly.

"Wow." James murmured.

"HE'S SAVED!" Lily cheered.

"Just because he knows the incantation doesn't mean he can perform the spell." McGonagall pointed out. She didn't want to be the person who put a damper on things; she was just looking at things logically. "I've been teaching for years. If Harry has never faced a real dementor before this will be very difficult. Theory and practical are quite different." Moody nodded his agreement.

"Well...Let's see." Lily said deflating.

**A silvery wisp of vapor shot from the tip of the wand**

Lily groaned. It hadn't worked after all.

"Hey, at least he was able to produce something. That's pretty good." James said halfheartedly.

**and the dementor slowed,**

"See the dementor slowed." James pointed out.

**but the spell hadn't worked properly; tripping over his feet, Harry retreated farther as the dementor bore down upon him, panic fogging his brain –**_**concentrate-**_

"Concentrate on something happy, Harry." Lily encouraged.

**A pair of gray, slimy, scabbed hands slid from inside the dementor's robes, **

Everyoneshuddered**.**

**reaching for him.**

Lily was shaking by now.

**A rushing noise filled Harry's ears.**

"Concentrate, Harry!" Everyone was now encouraging the book.

"_**Expecto Patronum!"**_

"Good keep trying." James said, holding a shaking Lily.

**His voice sounded dim and distant. . . .**

"No, No, No! No, Harry don't succumb to the bad memories." Lily pleaded.

**Another wisp of silver smoke, feebler than the last,**

Everyone moaned.

**drifted from the wand – he couldn't do it anymore,**

"Don't give up Harry!" Lily cried.

**he couldn't work the spell – **

"Meaning that he usually can?" James asked.

"Probably when he's not facing a real dementor." Remus said.

**There was laughter inside his own head, **

"Okay...Why?" Fabian asked.

"It's his worst memory." Edgar said.

"Laughter?" Gideon asked.

"Suppose it would depend on whose laugh it was." Frank said.

**shrill, high-pitched laughter . . . .**

Everyone shuddered, hoping it wasn't who they thought it was.

**He could smell the dementor's putrid, death-cold breath,**

Everyone shivered again.

**filling his own lungs, drowning him**

"Think something happy, Harry." Lily pleaded.

–_**Think. . . . something happy . . . .**_

James smiled at Lily. "Guess he thinks like you too."

Lily smiled a little and nodded.

**But** **there** **was** **no happiness in him. . . .**

"No...Come on Harry!" James said desperately.

**The dementor's icy fingers were closing on his throat**

Lily started crying.

– **the high-pitched laughter was growing louder and louder,**

Everyone knew that this was Voldemort. They knew they were about to hear what happened when Harry was almost killed.

**and a voice spoke inside his head – "**_**Bow to death Harry . . . . It might even be painless . . . I would not know . . . . I have never died . . . ."**_

Lily had started sobbing.

"I can't believe Harry survived after Voldemort said that to him." James breathed. "He must have been only 14 or 15."

Everyone wondered how Harry had survived.

**He was never going to see Ron and Hermione again – **

"Don't think like that Harry." Remus said.

"Yeah that's not a happy thought." James added.

**And their faces burst clearly into his mind**

"That's a happy thought!" James exclaimed.

"Use that Harry!" Lily stopped crying so that she could urge her son.

**as he fought for breath –**

"Come on, Harry." Everyone encouraged.

"_**EXPECTO PATRONUM!"**_

**An enormous silver stag erupted from the tip of Harry's wand;**

There was an enormous cheer from all occupants in the room.

"Harry did it! He did it!" Lily sang, getting up and spinning baby Harry around, who giggled.

Everyone laughed and James grabbed Lily and hugged her.

McGonagall was thunderstruck. "Wow, he produced a corporal Patronus. A fully fledged, shaped Patronus."

That reminded James of what Sirius had read. He stopped jumping around with Lily.

"What shape did Harry's Patronus take, Pads?" James asked.

Sirius picked up the book, which he had dropped in the excitement. He reread the sentence.

**An enormous silver stag**

Sirius dropped the book in shock. Remus, Sirius, and Lily (who they had told about the whole animagus thing) were staring at James in shock.

James suddenly cheered. "Harry's Patronus is ME!"

He high-fived Sirius and turned and hugged Lily again.

Remus was burying his face in his hands at James' stupidity.

Lily whispered in James' ear so that only he could hear, "You do realize what you just shouted, don't you?"

James looked confused. "Wha -"

Then a horrified look came over his face as he realized _exactly_ what he had just shouted.

At the same moment James realized his mistake Dumbledore asked, "What do you mean Harry's Patronus is you, James?"

"I meant that…umm...he has the same Patronus as me. My Patronus is a stag too, see?" James then whipped out his wand and thought of the day Harry was born. He smiled as he said, "_Expecto Patronum!"_

Out of his wand burst a silver stag.

"But you said that the stag _was _you." Fabian pointed out. Gideon nodded his head in agreement.

"I just meant that his Patronus was the same." James said desperately.

Sirius picked up the book and started reading so that James wouldn't get questioned more. Lily and James sat down.

**Its antlers caught the dementor in the place where the heart should have been;**

James, Sirius, Remus, Lily, Alice, Frank, Fabian, and Gideon cheered.

**it was thrown backward, weightless as darkness, and as the stag charged,**

The Marauders cheered.

**the dementor swooped away, batlike and defeated.**

Another cheer.

"**THIS WAY!" Harry shouted at the stag. Wheeling around, he sprinted down the alleyway, holding the lit wand aloft. "DUDLEY? DUDLEY!"**

**He** **had** **run barely a dozen steps when he reached them: Dudley was curled on the ground, his arms clamped over his face; a second dementor was crouching over him, gripping his wrists in its slimy hands, prizing them slowly, almost lovingly apart,**

"Eeww!" the Prewitt twins exclaimed at the same time.

**lowering its hooded head toward Dudley's face as though about to kiss him. . . .**

"Get him Harry!" Lily said, squeezing James' hand under the table.

"**GET IT!" Harry bellowed, and with a rushing, roaring sound, the silver stag he had conjured came galloping back past him. The dementor's eyeless face was barely an inch from Dudley's when the silver antlers caught it;**

Everyone let out another cheer.

**the thing was thrown up into the air and, like its fellow, it soared away and was absorbed into the darkness.**

"YES!" Everyone exclaimed, high-fiving each other. (Well not Moody and McGonagall)

**The stag cantered to the end of the alleyway and dissolved into silver mist.**

**Moon, stars, and streetlamps burst back into life. A warm breeze swept the alleyway. Trees rustled in neighboring gardens and the mundane rumble of cars in Magnolia Crescent filled the air again. Harry stood quite still, all his senses vibrating, taking in the abrupt return to normality. After a moment he became aware that his T-shirt was sticking to him; he was drenched in sweat.**

"Yeah, I would be sweating too!" Sirius exclaimed.

**He could not believe what had just happened.**

"We can't either." James and Lily said.

**Dementors **_**here, **_**in Little Whinging. . .**

**Dudley lay curled up on the ground, whimpering and shaking. Harry bent down to see whether he was in a fit state to stand up, but then heard loud, running footsteps behind him;**

"Can't he get a break." Lily sighed.

**instinctively raising his wand again,**

"Good." Moody growled.

**he spun on his heel to face the newcomer.**

**Mrs. Figg,**

"Isn't that his batty old neighbor?" Fabian asked.

Lily just let out a breath of relief.

**their batty old neighbor,**

"In answer to your question, Fabian, yes." Gideon laughed.

**came panting into sight. Her grizzled gray hair was escaping from its hairnet; a clanking string shopping bag was swinging from her wrist, and her feet were halfway out of her tartan carpet slippers. Harry made to stow his wand hurriedly out of sight, **

"Don't do that boy, there might be more." Moody growled.

"Don't say that Mad-Eye!" Lily exclaimed.

**but – **

"**Don't put it away,**

"Maybe she isn't just a batty neighbor." James said.

"Knaw, you think?" Remus asked.

"Yes I do!" James replied grinning.

Remus just rolled his eyes.

**idiot boy!"**

"Don't call my son an idiot." Lily said.

**she shrieked. "What if there are more of them around?**

Moody looked at Lily satisfactorily. Lily just hoped that they were both wrong.

**Oh, I'm going to **_**kill**_** Mundugus Fletcher!"**

"DUNG!" Sirius and James shouted together.

Lily frowned. "Isn't he that Slytherin a year below us?"

"Yeah...but he's an ok Slytherin." Sirius said.

McGonagall was shocked. "I didn't think that the Marauders thought _any _Slytherin was ok."

"You, learn something new every day, Minnie." Sirius said.

McGonagall breathed deeply and focused on not killing her now smirking student.

"Keep reading Sirius!" Lily commanded.

"That was the end of the chapter." Sirius told her.

"And what an eventful chapter it was." Gideon commented.

"I'm a little scared to continue." James said, eyeing the book wearily.

Sirius gasped. "James Potter, Marauder extraordinaire and brave Order of the Phoenix member, afraid of a book? I never thought I'd see the day…"

"I'm not scared of it." James exclaimed, grabbing the book from Sirius. "And I'll read the next chapter."

**A/N: So..Loved it? Hated it? Found it worth the wait? Tell me in a review! Reviews make me happy!**

**How many of you went to go see Harry Potter and the HBP at midnight? I DID! Did you guys like it? I found it totally awesome, except for the end, which was disappointing. And Harry and Ginny's kiss was messed up too.**

**Also I have a poll up. It's what story do you want me to work on next! So go check it out on my profile! (I've noticed that I say 'so' a lot XD)**

**Now just push the little green button right there at the bottom and tell me what you thought!**


	3. A Peck of Owls

**FINISHED! Oh my goodness, I am so sorry for the long wait(LONG? It was over a year you moron!) but it is done! No one is happier about this than me! You just have no idea how hard I have been working on this. I finished typing up the chapter last weekend, and this weekend I slaved over the comments. And can I just say that you guys are the best readers ever? I mean siriusly your wonderful/beautiful/amazing/awesome/fantastic reviews kept me going. Any time I was having a writer's block or feeling displeased with the story I'd go read your reviews and it would make me so unbelievably happy and I'd have a sudden burst of inspiration. Now, there is a downside to this. Since you guys are so great I don't want to disappoint you! I'm already a perfectionist and your awesomeness just amplified this. I wanted the characters and the reactions to be perfect because I don't want to let you wonderful people down! I could go on forever about how great you people are, but you've waited long enough for this chapter, so on with the story!**

**Oh wait I lie! I need to add a disclaimer:**

**Disclaimer: No matter how much I want to be I never have been, nor ever will be JK Rowling. **

Just as James was about to start reading the next chapter, there was a pink and blue flash of light and a woman with bubble-gum pink hair (no not Tonks), a man with bright, blue hair (no not Teddy!), and a boy who looked like he was no older than 7 or 8 with green hair, appeared in their midst. They were all glaring at Sirius. Sirius was really quite scared that these strange people were glaring at him like that.

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK!" the girl yelled at him.

Sirius cowered.

"Umm… I can explain?" Sirius said it more like a question.

"I certainly hope so!" she exclaimed tapping her foot. "And would you stop that!" She rounded on Moody; who had been firing jinxes at them since they arrived, but the spells simply went through them. "I mean, they don't hurt us, but they do kind of tickle."

Everyone was staring at them.

"Hasn't anyone ever told you it's rude to stare?" She said to the room at large, but still glaring at Sirius.

"Hasn't anyone ever told you it's rude to glare?" Sirius said, still cowering.

"Hasn't anyone ever told you it's rude and extremely dangerous to mess with Destiny and Time?" she countered.

"Destiny and time?" Marlene asked.

"Oh, we forgot to introduce ourselves." The girl began. Sirius cut her off.

"How _rude_ of you."

"Sirius, I don't think you want to dig a deeper hole for yourself." The girl said venomously. This shut Sirius up.

"As I was saying before I was so _rudely_ interrupted." She shot a glare at Sirius. "My name is Destiny. And, coincidentally, I control and manage everyone's destiny."

There was a collective gasp at this, but Destiny went on, ignoring it.

"My husband's," here she put her hand on the blue-haired mans shoulder, "name is Time and he…"

However, Fabian cut her off saying, "Let me guess, he controls time."

"Well…yes." Destiny said, now glaring at Fabian for stealing her line.

The little boy coughed. Destiny looked down, "Oh and this is our son..."

Once again, she was cut off mid sentence, this time by Gideon. "And what is his name? Space? Future? Past?"

"Ghost of Christmas Present." Lily added. Everyone looked at her. She blushed.

"Muggle movie." She mumbled.

Destiny was by now red in the face and fuming. "No, his name is Tim."

Fabian made a mock look of surprise, "What no super freaky powers?"

Destiny looked ready to strangle someone. "No, his powers haven't come in yet. It should be anytime now."

Tim shifted uncomfortably and looked shiftily at the ground. The Marauders and twins caught this as the looks of someone not being completely honest. They all looked at him curiously.

To break the uncomfortable silence that followed, Lily said, "Okay, well that explains _who _you are…sort of. But it doesn't explain _why _you're here."

"Because Mr. Black here is messing with destiny and…" But Time was cut off when Sirius said, raising his hands in defense, "Look, dude, I swear this is the first time I've ever seen Destiny. I promise I've never…"

But he was cut off by Time making a disgusted noise and saying, "That's not what I meant."

James, Remus, Fabian, and Gideon were laughing at the now blushing Sirius. Lily was staring at Sirius, wondering how his sick mind worked.

"If you would allow me to finish," Time went on, now extremely irritated, "Sirius has messed with destiny and time. The literal destiny and time of the whole world."

Everyone looked at Sirius.

"Don't look at me; I don't know what he's going on about." Sirius said irritated.

"It's quite simple really." Destiny said to Sirius, in a voice as if she was talking to a five year old. This caused Sirius to scowl and James to laugh. "You wished up that book." She pointed to _Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. _

"So?" Sirius pouted. "I was bored."

Time rolled his eyes while Destiny looked outraged. "You think that just because you're bored you can mess up the space time continuum?"

"I didn't realize. . ." Sirius was cut off by Destiny.

"Didn't realize that the world as we know it might be sucked into another dimensional vortex and transported to another continuum from which there will be no escape!"

"Umm… huh?" Sirius asked confused.

"You need to dumb it down. Padfoot here isn't too smart." James said, clapping Sirius on the back.

Sirius growled at James.

Destiny ignored James. She leaned towards Sirius. "The world will go 'Poof'."

"Oh. Why didn't you just say so instead of all that dimensional, vortex crap?" Sirius asked. Then he became serious along with everyone else who had understood before him. "Well what are we going to do about that?"

"Well you could start by handing over that book." Destiny said reaching for the book.

James clutched the book to his chest. "Not a snowball's chance in hell!"

"Did you not understand what I just said? If you read that book, there's no telling what it will do to the time stream." Destiny said irritated. She made a lunge for the book.

James jumped up and ran to the other side of the room. Destiny looked ready to breathe fire.

"Give me the book, James."

"NO! Padfoot catch!" James threw the book to Sirius.

Sirius caught it. Destiny rounded on Sirius.

"Black…"

"Moony, heads up!" Sirius tossed the book to Remus. Remus caught the book and ran under Destiny's outstretched arm. Everyone was laughing at their antics.

Destiny cornered Remus. She took the book from him.

Lily got a mischievous twinkle in her eye. "Alice, hold Harry for me."

Alice took Harry, passing Neville to Frank. "Why?"

Lily ignored her and stood up. Destiny was currently raging at the Marauders.

While Destiny was distracted, Lily snuck up behind her. James raised his eyebrows when he noticed Lily, silently asking her what she was doing. Lily just shook her head. She reached out slowly, and then snatched the book from Destiny. Destiny looked shocked. The Marauders were laughing and cheering for Lily. Everyone at the table was howling with laughter. Moody and McGonagall were even chuckling.

Lily held up the book, "Why can't I keep reading about my son?"

"Because it will destroy everything. Was nobody listening when I explained all this?"

"Please, let us continue reading about my son." Lily pleaded. "I need to know what happens to him." Her eyes shined with unshed tears.

Destiny looked at the teary-eyed mother who would die in only a few short months. Then she looked at the gurgling baby in Alice's arms, knowing how hard a life he would have. Her heart went out to them.

Destiny sighed and turned to her husband. "Do you think there's a way for them to read the book, without destroying the world?"

Time sighed. "We can try to come up with something. If we can't think of a way for things to work out, we could always erase their memories of the book."

There were a few sounds of protest, which Time and Destiny ignored.

Destiny turned back to the Order. "Okay, you can continue reading the book."

There was a loud cheer.

Destiny went on, ignoring them, "Time and me will leave and try to figure out how to not destroy the world."

Destiny walked over to Time. "Come on Timmy."

The little boy had been watching the exchange with great interest. Now he was staring starry-eyed at Lily. He looked up when his mother called to him. "Can I stay mum?"

Destiny seemed to consider this. She turned to the group. "Do you care if Tim stays here?"

"Not at all." Dumbledore answered, smiling at the boy.

"Then we'll be off." And with that, Time and Destiny disappeared.

The Marauders walked back over to the table.

"That was weird." Sirius stated.

James had an arm wrapped around Lily. "Extremely weird. You were brilliant, Lils."

"Yeah, Lily that was awesome I didn't know you had it in you." Sirius said, clapping her on the back.

"Were you actually crying or were you faking?" James asked Lily.

"I was faking." Lily said.

"It was brilliant." Gideon laughed.

"I've never seen anyone able to convince my mum to look for a loophole." Tim said.

Lily blushed, then reached over and took Harry from Alice. Frank handed Neville back to Alice.

By now, everyone was seated again, except for Tim. He wished up a chair and pulled it to the table between Lily and James. James looked startled and a little angry.

"Hey kid, move over. Maybe you didn't realize this, but I was trying to sit next to my wife." James told Tim.

Tim ignored James. He threw his arm around Lily's shoulders. "I like how you stood up to my mom, babe. If you ever get tired of Mr. Hotshot over there, I'm here for you."

Lily giggled as this little 7-year-old hit on her. James looked absolutely furious. Sirius, Remus, the twins, and Frank were laughing so hard that they could barely breathe.

"I'm sorry Tim. I love my Hotshot. Anyways, you're too young for me." Lily said, ruffling Tim's hair.

"Yeah, but can your husband transport people through different times?" Tim asked.

Everyone looked at him.

"Your mum said that you didn't have any powers." Marlene said.

"Well she doesn't know that I have powers. I haven't gotten around to telling her."

"How do we know that you're not lying?" James asked, glaring at Tim.

"Yeah, how do we know that you're not just trying to impress Lily?" Gideon asked, laughing.

Sirius, Remus, and Fabian joined him. James didn't find it funny.

Tim blushed. "I'll prove it." He closed his eyes.

James put his hands in the air around Tim's neck and mimed strangling him. Sirius stuffed his fist in his mouth to keep from laughing at James' antics; Lily just rolled her eyes at him.

Then Tim snapped his fingers and opened his eyes, smiling. James quickly moved his hands. Sirius whispered so that just Remus and James could hear, "Jealous much?"

James snorted, "Of that little kid? Of course not! I think I'm a little more secure about myself than that. After all I'm James, Marauder extraordinaire and brave member of the Order of the Phoenix."

"Good to hear." Sirius chuckled.

Meanwhile, when Tim had snapped his fingers nothing had happened.

"I knew he was bluffing." Gideon said.

James looked up and beamed, "Well kid…"

Tim held up his hand, "Let me try again."

Tim closed his eyes and a little crease formed between his eyes. He snapped his fingers. When Tim opened his eyes, he heard a small pop and muffled cursing from behind another door that definitely hadn't been there before. Tim smiled. Everyone looked warily at the door.

"Let me go and explain things to them." Tim said smiling.

James huffed. When Tim got up, James pushed Tim's chair away and scooted his chair as close as possible to Lily's and threw an arm around her shoulder. Lily rolled her eyes at James' childish behavior, but smiled a little as she rested her head on James shoulder.

Tim walked to the newly formed door. He opened it, stepped in, and shut it quickly.

Two almost identical boys (one was missing an ear), both with flaming red hair, turned around when they heard the door open. They both had their wands out in a flash.

"Who are you?" The one missing an ear asked.

"Hello Fred and George. My name is Tim. And, getting straight to the point, you guys are in the past."

Fred and George looked at each, both silently agreeing that either Tim was a Death Eater in disguise or he was mad.

Tim continued, "I can transport people through time. You guys are currently in 1981, a few months before Harry's parents die. They are currently reading a book about Harry's fifth year. They don't know that they're going to die, and let's keep it that way until they read it in the book. Alright let's go."

Tim started to walk out of the room. Fred called out after him, "How do we know that you're not a Death Eater leading us into a trap?"

Tim sighed and turned around. "Jinx me."

The twins looked shocked at this request. "How would that prove you're not a Death Eater?"

"Just do it."

George shrugged at Fred, and sent a jelly-legs curse at Tim. It went right through him.

The twins looked shocked. "How…?"

"I just told you how."

Fred and George looked at each other. They put their heads together and started having a whispered conversation.

"I say we trust him." Fred whispered.

"Are you mad? He's most likely a Death Eater." George hissed.

"Well if this is some trap, we have Peruvian Darkness Powder, Decoy Detonators, and loads of other WWW products. Let's risk it."

"Fine."

They both turned to Tim and said, "We believe you."

"Took you long enough." Tim muttered. He was about to open the door, when he seemed to remember something and turned around. "George, you can't go in there missing an ear."

"Oh, well, I guess I'll just regrow it right now then!*" George snapped sarcastically.

Tim rolled his eyes. "Obviously you can't just regrow an ear. But I can put a replacement on there for a while."

George looked taken aback, "Ok then."

Tim snapped his fingers and George reached up to feel his regrown ear.

"That's only going to last till they get to that part in the book." Tim said.

"Yeah, ok." George said, just happy to have his ear back, even if it was only for a little while.

Tim opened the door leading to the room where everyone else was.

When the door opened, everyone at the table looked up. Tim stepped out of the room with two identical boys with flaming, red hair, who looked about 19 or 20.

"Everyone I would like you to meet Fr..." Tim started.

"We can introduce ourselves, thanks." Fred interrupted.

"I think we know our names by now, right Gred?" George said smiling.

"You could assume that we would after 20 years, Feorge." Fred said grinning too.

Fabian and Gideon looked at each other and beamed. If those two were who they thought they were…

"Fred and George Weasley at your service." They said at the same time, making wide over-exaggerated bows.

The Marauders, Fabian, and Gideon were cheering and clapping. McGonagall and Moody groaned, both thinking that the last thing they needed was another set of pranksters.

Fabian and Gideon got up and came around the table.

Fred and George recognized them immediately. They had seen many pictures. Fred and George had been too young when their uncles had died to really remember them, but Mum was always telling them that they acted just like her older brothers, Fabian and Gideon.

Remembering what Tim had told them, they decided not to tell their uncles that they died soon. Instead, Fred and George greeted their uncles as if they had known them their whole lives.

"Uncle Fabian. Uncle Gideon." Fred and George said together, shaking hands with the uncles they barely knew.

"Wait, you guys are related?" Sirius asked.

"Yes, these are our two and a half-year-old twin nephews." Fabian said.

"Though they're obviously not two anymore." Gideon said.

"What time did you came from?" Dumbledore asked.

"May 1st..." George began.

"1998." Fred finished.

"About 2 years after that book happened." George added pointing to the book.

Everyone was staring at them.

"We're here to read a book aren't we?" Asked George.

"So let's start." Fred said. They both conjured chairs and sat down next to their uncles.

Everyone tried to stop staring at the newcomers and turned to James as he picked up the book.

Tim saw that James had scooted his chair away, and that James's arm was slung around Lily. He fumed. Then he shrugged and snapped his fingers. Suddenly he was floating in the air over the table. A few people gave startled gasps of surprise.

Fred and George stared at Tim. "What's that kids deal?" Fred asked his uncles.

"His parents are Time and Destiny." Gideon told them.

"Like they control the ACTUAL time and destiny of the world." Fabian answered Fred and George's questioning looks.

Fred and George looked at them in shock.

"Tell me about it." Fabian and Gideon said in unison.

Meanwhile Sirius was staring at Tim enviously. "I want to fly!" Sirius pouted.

Sirius closed his eyes and snapped his fingers like Tim did. "I wish I could fly. I wish I could fly. I wish I could fly."

Everyone was muffling their laughter with their hands.

Fred and George stared at this carefree and more laid back Sirius. The Sirius they knew had joked around, but he had always had a haunted look about him. They supposed 12 years in Azkaban could do that to you. Also having your best mate, who is practically your brother, betrayed by someone you thought was your friend and then murdered would be devastating too. Fred and George couldn't even imagine what would happen if they lost the other.

Meanwhile, Sirius was still muttering, "I wish I could fly."

James snuck his wand out of his robes. He pointed it at Sirius and cast the Levitation charm.

Sirius' eyes flew open. "LOOK! I'm FLYING! WHOOO!"

James grinned and cast Levicorpus. Sirius was suddenly jerked upside down.

Everyone burst out laughing. "THAT'S NOT FUNNY PRONGS! PUT ME DOWN!" Sirius started trying to tug his leg out of the air. This just caused everyone to laugh harder.

"I'M SERIOUS PRONGS!"

"You've always been Sirius, what does that have to do with anything?" James smirked at Sirius.

"Urghh! LET ME DOWN!"

"If that's what you want." James jerked his wand and Sirius came crashing down onto the table.

Sirius crawled off the table and into his seat. "I hate you Prongs!"

James just laughed and began reading.

**A Peck of Owls**

"Well that's a weird title." Sirius said.

"You should see the picture." James snorted.

Sirius looked over and laughed at the picture of an owl dropping a letter on, what they assumed was, Petunia's head. The book was passed around so everyone could see the picture. Lily laughed hardest, knowing how much her sister hated owls.

"**What?" said Harry blankly.**

"I'd be confused too." Fabian muttered.

"**He left!" said Mrs. Figg, wringing her hands. **

"Why would he be there in the first place?" Lily asked.

"**Left to see someone about a batch of cauldrons that fell off the back of a broom! I told him I'd flay him alive if he went, and now look! Dementors! It's just lucky I put Mr. Tibbles on the case!**

"Mr. Tibbles?" Sirius repeated confused.

**But we haven't got time to stand around! Hurry, now, we've got to get you back! Oh, the trouble this is going to cause! I will **_**kill**_**him!"**

"Wow, wouldn't want to get her mad." Frank said.

"**But -"**

**The revelation that his batty old cat-obsessed neighbor knew what dementors were was almost as big a shock to Harry as meeting two of them down the alleyway. **

"That would be rather shocking." Lily nodded.

"**You're – you're a **_**witch**_**?"**

"**I'm a Squib, as Mundungus knows full well, so how on earth was I supposed to help you fight off dementors?**

"I think he did pretty damn well on his own." James said proudly.

"But he's going to be in trouble now for using magic outside of school." Lily worriedly said.

"You have no idea." Fred and George said in unison.

Needless to say, this didn't calm Lily down.

McGonagall leaned over to Dumbledore and whispered, "You don't suppose that that's Arabella Figg do you?"

Dumbledore smiled. "I think it's safe to say that that is exactly who she is."

**He left you completely without cover when I **_**warned**_** him -"**

"Wait!" Lily held out her hand. "Why is this bloke following my son around?"

"It could have something to do with the fact that the most evil dark wizard of all time tried to kill him not to long ago." Edgar said.

Lily shuddered at the reminder.

"**This bloke Mundungus has been following me? **

"Guess Harry wants to know too." Alice smiled.

**Hang on – it was **_**him**_**! He Disapparated from the front of my house!"**

There were a few gasps and "That makes sense!" from around the table. Lily let out a breath of relief that it wasn't someone dangerous.

"**Yes, yes, **_**yes, **_**but luckily I'd stationed Mr. Tibbles under a car just in case,**

"Who the hell is Mr. Tibbles and how did he fit under a car without being noticed?" Sirius asked frustrated.

Fred and George sniggered. "Mr. Tibbles is one of her cats!"

Sirius wrinkled his nose in disgust.

**and Mr. Tibbles came and warned me,**

"Her cat…warned her." Remus said slowly. "Okkayy then."

**but by the time I got to your house you'd gone – and now – oh, **_**what's **_**Dumbledore going to say?**

Lily looked at Dumbledore. "Thank you for having someone watch him."

Dumbledore nodded at her, smiling. "Of course Mrs. Potter."

**You!" she shrieked at Dudley, still supine on the alley floor. "Get your fat bottom off the ground, quick!"**

Everyone snorted with laughter at this.

"**You know Dumbledore?" said Harry, staring at her.**

"Of course she does. Everyone knows Dumbledore!" Sirius exclaimed, grinning at the headmaster.

"**Of course I know Dumbledore, who doesn't know Dumbledore?**

Sirius grinned. "She agrees with me!"

**But come **_**on **_**– I'll be no help if they come back, I've never so much as transfigured a teabag -"**

"And since she's a Squib she wouldn't have a wand with her to begin with." Frank pointed out.

**She stooped down, seized one of Dudley's massive arms in her wizened hands, and tugged.**

"**Get **_**up**_**, you useless lump, get **_**up**_**."**

Sirius chuckled. "I like her."

**But Dudley either could not or would not move.**

"Probably a combination of both." Lily said.

**He was still on the ground, trembling and ashen-faced, his mouth shut very tight.**

"**I'll do it." Harry took hold of Dudley's arm and heaved: With an enormous effort, he managed to hoist Dudley to his feet.**

"Wow. Harry's stronger then he looks." Edgar whistled.

**Dudley seemed to be on the point of fainting: His small eyes were rolling in their sockets and sweat was beading his face; the moment Harry let go of him he swayed dangerously.**

Lily normally would have felt sorry for the boy, but seeing that as he had just tormented and hit her son, she was finding it rather difficult.

"**Hurry up!" said Mrs. Figg hysterically.**

"Yeah, well that's easy for you to say. You don't have to half-carry the kid that weighs a ton, after being attacked by dementors for no apparent reason." James told the book angrily.

**Harry pulled one of Dudley's massive arms around his own shoulder and dragged him toward the road, sagging slightly under his weight. Mrs. Figg tottered along in front of them, peering anxiously around the corner.**

"**Keep your wand out," she told Harry, as they entered Wisteria Walk. "Never mind the Statue of Secrecy now, there's going to be hell to pay anyway, we might as well be hanged for a dragon as an egg.**

Lily groaned. "That's exactly what I was afraid of."

"But surely he won't get in trouble. He was defending himself." Alice said.

James shrugged. "Who knows? This is the Ministry we're talking about."

**Talk about the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery…This was **_**exactly**_** what Dumbledore was afraid of –**

Lily flinched. "See Dumbledore was worried about it too. So that means that the Ministry probably isn't very forgiving. Wait! Why would Dumbledore expect this to happen?"

Everyone (minus Fred and George) shrugged.

**what's that at the end of the street? **

Lily clutched James' arm. "Not another thing..."

**Oh, it's just Mr. Prentice...**

Lily let go of James' arm. "Thank Merlin."

**Don't put your wand away, boy, don't I keep telling you I'm no use?"**

**It was not easy to hold a wand steady and haul Dudley along at the same time. **

"I wouldn't imagine that it would be." Frank said grimacing.

**Harry gave his cousin an impatient dig in the ribs, but Dudley seemed to have lost all desire for independent movement. He was slumped on Harry's shoulder, his large feet dragging along the ground.**

"He could make it a little easier on Harry and move his feet." James said irritably.

"**Why didn't you tell me you're a Squib, Mrs. Figg?" asked Harry,**

"Most squibs don't go around proclaiming to be one." Edgar said.

**panting with the effort to keep walking. "All those times I came round your house - why didn't you say anything?"**

Lily frowned a little at another comment that made it sound like Harry stayed with her sister's family often.

"**Dumbledore's orders. I was to keep an eye on you but not say anything,**

"Why do people have to watch my son all the time? Where are me and Lily" James asked.

**you were too young.**

"He's 15!" James exclaimed.

"I think she might be referring to an earlier date." Lily said, frowning more.

**I'm sorry I gave you such a miserable time, Harry, but the Dursleys would never have let you come if they'd thought you enjoyed it. **

Lily looked outraged. "Yeah because it's such a crime for my son to actually ENJOY himself. Merlin why is he there?"

Fred and George glanced at each other, not looking forward to Lily finding out the answer to that question.

**It wasn't easy, you know… but oh my word," she said tragically, wringing her hands once more, "when Dumbledore hears about this - how could Mundungus have left, he was supposed to be on duty until midnight - where is he? **

"Duty? Is watching Harry some kind of job with a schedule?" James asked.

"Sounds like it." Sirius commented as Fred and George snickered at James's comment.

**How am I going to tell Dumbledore what's happened? I can't Apparate -"**

"That could be problematic." Remus pointed out.

"**I've got an owl, you can borrow her," Harry groaned, **

Lily smiled. "I wonder what kind of owl he has?"

**wondering whether his spine was going to snap under Dudley's weight.**

Lily winced.

"**Harry, you don't understand! **

"Then please explain." Remus implored.

**Dumbledore will need to act as quickly as possible, the Ministry have their own ways of detecting underage magic, they'll know already, you mark my words -"**

"They would already know." Moody said.

"**But I was getting rid of dementors, I had to use magic – they're going to be more worried what dementors were doing floating around Wisteria Walk, surely?"**

"That's what they _should_ be more worried about. Not necessarily what they _will_ be worried about." Frank said grimly.

"**Oh my dear, I wish it were so but I'm afraid **

Lily shook her head in disgust at the Ministry.

**-****MUNDUNGUS FLETCHER, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!"**

Sirius laughed. "I would not get within 50 feet of her if I was Dung."

**There was a loud **_**crack **_**and a strong smell of mingled drink and stale tobacco filled the air as a squat, unshaven man in a tattered overcoat materialized right in front of them. **

Lily groaned. "Can't he get a break? Now he has to deal with some drunk, homeless wizard."

Sirius, though, was laughing. "Dung has come at the worst possible time."

"_That's _Dung?" Lily asked, wrinkling her nose in disgust. "Who in their right mind would send him to watch my son?"

Everyone laughed at Lily.

**He had short bandy legs, long straggly ginger hair, and bloodshot baggy eyes that gave him the doleful look of a basset hound;**

Lily was looking more and more disgusted with each description. _Honestly, who allowed him in the Order?_

**he was also clutching a silvery bundle that Harry recognized at once as an Invisibility Cloak.**

James grinned at Harry's recognition of the cloak. That meant that Harry did have his cloak. Not that there was any reason that he shouldn't, but still, James had been starting to get a bad feeling about Lily and him.

" **'S'up, Figgy?" he said, **

Sirius snorted.

**staring from Mrs. Figg to Harry and Dudley. "What 'appened to staying undercover?"**

Everyone snorted at this. Mundungus was just digging a deeper grave for himself.

"**I'll give you undercover!" cried Mrs. Figg. "**_**Dementors**_**, you useless, skiving sneak thief!"**

Sirius, James, Fred, George, Fabian, and Gideon began laughing.

"**Dementors?" repeated Mundungus, aghast. "Dementors here?"**

"Yes, there, you sorry, druken, bum excuse of a wizard! You would know if you were watching him like you were supposed to!" Lily shrieked at the book.

James and Alice scooted a little ways away from her. Tim looked at the few inches of space next to Lily hopefully.

"**Yes, here, you worthless pile of bat droppings, here!" shrieked Mrs. Figg. "Dementors attacking the boy on your watch!"**

Everyone burst into laughter at this, looking at Lily.

Lily blushed, but smiled. "Glad someone's there to berate him for me."

"**Blimey," said Mundungus weakly, looking from Mrs. Figg to Harry and back again. "Blimey, I..."**

Lily started muttering to herself about 'oxygen-stealing, babbling idiot'.

"**And you off buying stolen cauldrons! **

"He was WHAT?" Lily screamed.

James wrapped his arm around her. "Lily, calm down. It's ok. I'm sure Mrs. Figg will take care of Dung for you."

**Didn't I tell you not to go? **_**Didn't I?**_**"**

"**I – well, I – " Mundungus looked deeply uncomfortable. "It's...it was a very good business opportunity, see..."**

"Very good business opportunity my-!" Lily started screaming before James put a hand over her mouth. Lily glared at him.

**Mrs. Figg raised the arm from which her string bag dangled and whacked Mundungus around the face and neck with it; judging by the clanking noise it made it was full of cat food.**

James started laughing along with Remus, Sirius, and both set of twins and a majority of the room. Lily was able to free her mouth from James's hand and laugh along with everyone.

"He got what he deserved." Lily said happily. "I really like Mrs. Figg."

"**Ouch – gerroff – geroff, you mad old bat! Someone's gotta tell Dumbledore!"**

"Yes, I would need to know this immediately, if I didn't already." Dumbledore commented.

"**Yes – they - have!" yelled Mrs. Figg, still swinging the bag of cat food at every bit of Mundungus she could reach. "And – it – had - better – be – you – and – you - can - tell – him – why – you – weren't - there – to – help!"**

Lily grinned wider.

"**Keep your 'airnet on!" said Mundungus, his arms over his head, cowering. "I'm going, I'm going!"**

**And with another loud _crack_, he vanished.**

"Finally." Lily huffed.

"**I hope Dumbledore _murders_ him!" said Mrs. Figg furiously.**

"I have to be inclined to agree." Lily said.

Dumbledore chuckled, his eyes twinkling. "I'm sorry, but I'll have to leave that up to you, Mrs. Potter."

"**Now come _on_, Harry, what are you waiting for?"**

"Um, you were just beating the crap out of some guy that was supposed to be watching him, and he's dragging his whale of a cousin around. That's what he's waiting on." James said, slightly irritated.

**Harry decided not to waste his remaining breath on pointing out that he could barely walk under Dudley's bulk. **

"Exactly."

**He gave the semiconscious Dudley a heave and staggered onward.**

"**I'll take you to the door," said Mrs. Figg, as they turned into Privet Drive. "Just in case there are more of them around...Oh my word, what a catastrophe...and you had to fight them off yourself...and Dumbledore said we were to keep you from doing magic at all costs.**

"At all costs...that's sounds as if there would be pretty big consequences if he did." Frank said.

Lily looked worried.

"Well I'm sure we'll find out soon enough if we read the book." Marlene said.

…**.Well, it's no good crying over spilled potion, I suppose...but the cat's among the pixies now..."**

"**So," Harry panted, "Dumbledore's...been...having...me followed?"**

"You would think that you would have at least told him." Remus said to Dumbledore accusingly on his surrogate nephew's behalf.

Dumbledore smiled at him, "I'm sure I had my reasons Mr. Lupin. If Harry's anything like father I'm sure he won't appreciate being followed."

"True." Remus, Sirius, and James all said.

"**Of course he has," said Mrs. Figg impatiently. "Did you expect him to let you wander around on your own after what happened in June?**

"June." Lily moaned. "His birthday is in July, so that means that he was only 14 when Voldemort attacked him."

James winced slightly and tightened his grip on Lily.

The other occupants of the room glanced at each other uneasily then to the baby in Lily's arms. It was hard to believe that he would survive an attack from Voldemort when he was only 14.

Fred and George looked at each other both thinking, _If they knew everything that Harry had been through way before he was 14._ Then suddenly they both seemed to realize that Lily was holding a _baby _Harry! They glanced at each other, both grinning hugely. This would be totally awesome**(A/N -giggles- If you get this reference please tell me in the comments!)** to tease Harry about later. They'd have to go over and hold Harry and take pictures after this chapter was finished.

**Good Lord, boy, they told me you were intelligent...**

Lily looked offended. "He is intelligent."

"I wonder who _they _are?" Dumbledore questioned.

**Right...get inside and stay there," she said as they reached number four. "I expect someone will be in touch with you soon enough."**

"Maybe we'll finally get some answers." James grumbled

"**What are you going to do?" asked Harry quickly.**

"**I'm going straight home," said Mrs. Figg, staring around the dark street and shuddering. "I'll need to wait for more instructions. Just stay in the house. Good night."**

"**Hang on, don't go yet! I want to know -"**

**But Mrs. Figg had already set off at a trot, carpet slippers flopping, string bag clanking.**

"**Wait!" Harry shouted after her; he had a million questions to ask**

"Don't we all?" Sirius asked.

**anyone who was in contact with Dumbledore;**

**but within seconds Mrs. Figg was swallowed by the darkness. Scowling, Harry readjusted Dudley on his shoulder and made his slow, painful way up number four's garden path.**

**The hall light was on. Harry stuck his wand back inside the waistband of his jeans,**

"Don't put your wand up boy!" Moody barked.

Fred and George smiled, they had missed Moody.

"Trust me Moody, walking into my sister's house with his wand out while carrying a semi-conscious Dudley would not go down well." Lily told him.

**rang the bell, and watched Aunt Petunia's outline grow larger and larger, oddly distorted by the rippling glass in the front door.**

"**Diddy! **

Everyone snorted at the ridiculous nickname.

**About time too, I was getting quite – quite – _Diddy, what's the matter?"_**

"And it begins." Lily muttered.

**Harry looked sideways at Dudley and ducked out from under his arm just in time. Dudley swayed for a moment on the spot, his face pale green, then he opened his mouth at last and vomited all over the doormat.**

"Eeew!" The room chorused.

James, making a face, "Poor Harry."

"**DIDDY! Diddy, what's the matter with you? Vernon? VERNON?"**

Lily shakes her head at her sisters hysterics.

James grinned slightly to himself, knowing what Lily was thinking, and knowing she would react the same way about Harry. Just in a much cuter, less annoying way.

**Harry's uncle came galumphing**

Sirius raises his eyebrows. "Galumphing?"

**out of the living room, walrus mustache blowing hither and thither as it always did when he was agitated. He hurried forward to help Aunt Petunia negotiate a weak-kneed Dudley over the threshold while avoiding stepping in the pool of sick.**

Everyone made a face at that.

"**He's ill, Vernon!"**

"Wow, way to state the obvious."

"**What is it, son? What's happened? Did give you something foreign for tea?"**

Everyone had to laugh at the stupidity and naivety of the Dursely's concerning their son.

"**Why are you all covered in dirt, darling? Have you been lying on the ground?"**

The pranksters of the room and Lily laughed at that.

"I really can't handle much more of this pure stupidity."

"**Hang on – you haven't been mugged, have you, son?"**

More laughter.

"Well he's rather close," Edgar said. "The Dementor tried to mug his soul."

The pranksters chuckled slightly at that, although it was rather morbid.

**Aunt Petunia screamed.**

Lily rolled her eyes.

"**Phone the police, Vernon! Phone the police! Diddy, darling, speak to Mummy! What did they do to you?"**

Cue Lily rolling her eyes again.

**In all the kerfuffle,**

"Kerfuffle? Really Harry? You have a very interesting vocabulary." Sirius laughed.

James laughed too.

**nobody seemed to have noticed Harry, which suited him perfectly. He managed to slip inside just before Uncle Vernon slammed the door and while the Dursleys made their noisy progress down the hall toward the kitchen, Harry moved carefully and quietly toward the stairs. **

"Woo! Harry might actually get away with this," Sirius exclaimed.

Lily shook her head, "Knowing my sister and her awful husband, I doubt it."

"**Who did it, son? Give us names. We'll get them, don't worry."**

"I'm thinking that your not going to be catching a Dementor..."

"Do you think Dementors have names?" Sirius asked suddenly, honestly curious.

James decided to just keep reading and ignore Sirius, causing the latter to pout.

"**Shh! He's trying to say something, Vernon! What is it, Diddy? Tell Mummy!"**

**Harry's foot was on the bottommost stair when Dudley found his voice. **

"_**Him."**_

Everybody groaned.

"Way to be a tattle-tale Dudley," Fabian muttered.

"And Harry saved him! He risked his life and saved Dudley's arse and this is how he repays him!" Lily said hotly.

**Harry froze, foot on the stair, face screwed up, braced for the explosion. **

Lily sighed.

"**BOY! COME HERE!"**

"He has a name!"

**With a feeling of mingled dread and anger, Harry removed his foot slowly from the stair and turned to follow the Dursleys.**

"No Harry! Escape while you have the chance!" Sirius yelled.

Most of the room snorted and shook their heads at Sirius.

**The scrupulously**

"Again with these big words that no one uses! He has obviously been spending too much time with Remus." Sirius grinned at Remus.

Remus just rolled his eyes at Sirius.

**clean kitchen had an oddly unreal glitter after the darkness outside. Aunt Petunia was ushering Dudley into a chair; he was still very green and clammy looking. Uncle Vernon was standing in front of the draining board, glaring at Harry through tiny, narrowed eyes. **

"**What have you done to my son?" he said in a menacing growl.**

"Nothing!" The Marauders, Lily, and both sets of twins cried.

"**Nothing," said Harry, knowing perfectly well that Uncle Vernon wouldn't believe him.**

Lily started mumbling some not so pleasant things under her breath.

"**What did he do to you, Diddy?" Aunt Petunia said in a quavering voice, now sponging sick from the front of Dudley's leather jacket. "Was it - was it you-know-what, darling? Did he use – his _thing?"_**

Sirius roared with laughter. "That sounds so wrong."

The twins joined in his laughter but Lily and James glared at him.

**Slowly, tremulously, Dudley nodded. **

Sirius snorted.

"**I didn't!" Harry said sharply, as Aunt Petunia let out a wail and Uncle Vernon raised his fists. **

Lily and James looked appalled.

"Don't you dare lay a finger on my son!"

"**I didn't do anything to him, it wasn't me, it was –"**

**But at that precise moment a screech owl swooped in through the kitchen window. **

Lily grimaced, knowing how much her sister hated owls. This wasn't going to help the situation at all.

**Narrowly missing the top of Uncle Vernon's head, it soared across the kitchen, dropped the large parchment envelope it was carrying in it's beak at Harry's feet, and turned gracefully, the tips of its wings just brushing the top of the fridge, then zoomed outside again and off across the garden.**

"**OWLS!" bellowed Uncle Vernon, the well-worn vein in his temple pulsing angrily as he slammed the kitchen window shut. "OWLS AGAIN! I WILL NOT HAVE ANY MORE OWLS IN MY HOUSE!" **

James and Lily glared at the book. So were quite a few other people.

**But Harry was already ripping open the envelope and pulling out the letter inside, his heart pounding somewhere in the regions of his Adam's apple. **

**Dear Mr. Potter,**

**We have received intelligence that you performed the Patronus Charm at twenty-three minutes past nine this evening in a Muggle-inhabited area and in the presence of a Muggle. **

"He was protecting himself! He can't get in trouble for that!" Lily said, looking at Dumbledore.

Dumbledore just shook his head. "Legally they shouldn't, but who knows how bad the Ministry is in the future."

Fred and George glanced at each other thinking of just how bad it was then, and especially now with an Imperiused Death Eater running the shots.

**The severity of this breach of the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Secrecy has resulted in your expulsion from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.**

"WHAT?" Lily and James yelled.

"NO!" Everyone else exclaimed. This couldn't be happening!

**Ministry representatives will be calling at your place of residence shortly to destroy your wand.**

Lily moaned and put her head in her hands.

James was glowering. "They can't do this! I won't let them!"

**As you have already received an official warning for a previous offense under section 13 of the International Confederation of Wizards' Statue of Secrecy, **

"Ah, so he's broken the law before, eh?" Sirius said, trying to make light of the situation, although he was pretty upset and mad himself.

**we regret to inform you that your presence is required at a disciplinary hearing at the Ministry of Magic at 9 A.M. on August 12th.**

"So they're going to have a hearing AFTER they've already expelled him and snapped his wand? How does that work?" Lily asked angrily.

**Hoping you are well,**

"Person, you are an idiot." Sirius said venemously.

"You just expelled him and sentenced his wand to execution, he's just dandy!" James said sarcastically and bitterly.

**Yours sincerely,**

**Mafalda Hopkirk**

**Improper Use of Magic Office**

**Ministry of Magic**

**Harry read the letter through twice. He was only vaguely aware of Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia talking in the vicinity. Inside his head, all was icy and numb.**

Sirius shuddered. That was exactly how he would have felt if he got expelled. Hogwarts had been his only real home until he was sixteen and moved in with James. But...Harry had a good home. He had James and Lily...

**One fact had penetrated his consciousness like a paralyzing dart. He was expelled from Hogwarts. It was all over. He was never going back. **

James growled. "Not if I have anything to say about it."

Lily nodded.

**He looked up at the Dursleys. Uncle Vernon was purple-faced, shouting, his fists still raised; Aunt Petunia had her arms around Dudley, who was retching again. **

**Harry's temporarily stupified brain seemed to reawaken. _Ministry representatives will be calling at your place of residence shortly to destroy your wand._**

"You need you wand. Don't let them take it, son, no matter what." Moody advised.

**There was only one thing for it. He would have to run – now.**

Lily groaned.

"I don't like this any more than you do, Lils, but what choice does he have. His wand can't be destroyed." James told her.

"I know." Lily sighed.

**Where he was going to go, Harry didn't know,**

Lily frowned. "Come to us, sweetheart."

"If we're on a mission he's not going to be able to get to us." James tried to reassure her, but his voice cracked with uncertainty.

**but he was certain of one thing: At Hogwarts or outside it, he needed his wand. **

"Dam right you do!" Moody growled.

**In an almost dreamlike state, he pulled his wand out and turned to leave the kitchen. **

"**Where d'you think you're going?" yelled Uncle Vernon. When Harry didn't reply, he pounded across the kitchen to block the doorway into the hall. "I haven't finished with you, boy!"**

Lily seethed. "Stop calling him boy! We gave him a name when he was born that is on his birth certificate, and the last time I checked it was HARRY not BOY!"

"**Get out of the way," Harry said quietly.**

"**You're going to stay here and explain how my son-"**

"**If you don't get out of the way I'm going to jinx you," said Harry, raising the wand.**

"Harry," Lily groaned. "Don't make things worse."

"**You can't pull that one on me!" snarled Uncle Vernon. "I know you're not allowed to use it outside that madhouse you call a school!" **

McGonagall spluttered at her school being referred to as a 'madhouse' by this insufferable man. Everyone else looked mad about this too.

"**The madhouse chucked me out," said Harry.**

"Harry!"

"**So I can do whatever I like. **

"No, no you can't! If you curse him, James and I can't fix it for you!" Lily said.

**You've got three seconds. One – two –"**

**A resounding _CRACK_ filled the kitchen; **

"_Harry!"_

"I don't think that was Harry's fault, Lils." James told her.

**Aunt Petunia screamed, Uncle Vernon yelled and ducked, but for the third time that night Harry was staring for the source of a disturbance he had not made.**

Lily breathed a sigh of relief.

**He spotted it at once: A dazed and ruffled-looking barn owl was sitting outside on the kitchen sill,**

"At least it was only an owl and not a Death Eater or something." Marlene said.

**having just collided with the closed window. **

Fabian and Gideon snorted.

**Ignoring Uncle Vernon's anguished yell of "OWLS!" Harry crossed the room at a run and wrenched the window open again. The owl stuck out its leg, to which a small role of parchment was tied, shook its feathers, and took off the moment Harry had pulled off the letter. Hands shaking, Harry unfurled the second message, which was written very hastily and blotchily in black ink. **

"_Please let it be from James or me, please," _Lily pleaded in her head.

_**Harry – **_

_**Dumbledore's just arrived at the Ministry, and he's trying to sort it all out.**_

Lily beamed at the headmaster. "Thank you Dumbledore!"

James looked at Dumbledore, nodding in agreement with his wife's words.

Dumbledore smiled at them. "Of course I'll do whatever I can to help Harry."

_**DO NOT LEAVE YOUR AUNT AND UNCLE'S HOUSE. DO NOT DO ANY MORE MAGIC. DO NOT SURRENDER YOUR WAND.**_

_**Arthur Weasley**_

Fred and George grinned, "Dad."

Lily and James, on the other hand, looked at each other worriedly.

"Why is our son's best friend's dad telling him this?" James asked, running his hand through his untidy black hair.

"Yes, where are we?" Lily asked shakily.

Fred and George glanced at each other.

"You're somewhere on a mission somewhere." Alice tried to reassure her oldest friend.

"We don't know that," Lily told her.

"Even if we were," James said, looking around the room, "we would come back if all of this was going on with our son."

"We know you would mate." Sirius said, putting his hand on James's back reassuringly.

"Which is exactly why we wouldn't tell you. Why tell you and pull you away from something important to the down fall of Voldemort, when we could deal with this?" Remus said, grinning at him and Lily assuredly.

Lily nodded, smiling back. "You're right, of course."

**Dumbledore was trying to sort it all out...What did that mean? How much power did Dumbledore have to override the Ministry of Magic? **

"Right now I would have enough for this case, but I don't know about the future me." Dumbledore said.

**Was there a chance that he might be allowed back to Hogwarts, then?**

"He _has_ to be," Sirius said, shaking his head.

**A small shoot of hope burgeoned in Harry's chest,**

Lily smiled.

**almost immediately strangled by panic-**

Insert Lily sighing here.

**how was he supposed to refuse to surrender his wand without doing magic? **

Frowning, James said, "He has a good point."

"Harry usually does." Fred said.

"Except when he has those mental plans of his," George said, chuckling.

"_Especially_ when he has his mental plans," Fred said, causing him and George to laugh.

Everyone looked at them strangely, except for Lily, was was looking worried about what that could mean, and James, who looked happy. They had to be talking about pranks, right?

**He'd have to duel with the Ministry representatives,**

Lily looked scandalized. "No, no you really don't."

"Lily, they can't break his wand," Remus tried to stress to her.

**and if he did that, he'd be lucky to escape Azkaban, let alone expulsion.**

"That's a bit dramatic. I don't think he'd be sent to Azkaban if he's only 15." Benjy pointed out.

"You don't know that!" Lily snapped at him.

"He gets it from her," James mouthed at Benjy, gesturing to Lily behind her back, causing everyone to snicker.

Lily turned around to look at James and he stopped immediately, giving his best, 'I'm innocent and have never done a bad thing in my life' look. Lily scrutinized him for a second before punching him on the arm.

"OW!" James yelled. "What was that for?"

"You were looking far to innocent. Now, continue, reading," Lily told him.

**His mind was racing...He could run for it and risk being captured by the Ministry, or stay put and wait for them to find him here. **

"Stay put, that's what Mr. Weasley told you to do." Lily scolded Harry.

**He was much more tempted by the former course, but he knew that Mr. Weasley had his best interests at heart...**

Fred and George smiled, knowing how true that was. Lily and James were happy that someone was taking care of their son while thy were away on a mission.

**and, after all, Dumbledore had sorted out much worse than this before...**

Lily went back to worrying. What had Harry got himself into that was worse than this?

"**Right," Harry said, "I've changed my mind, I'm staying."**

Everyone laughed at Harry's bluntness.

"At least he gets right to the point," Edgar chuckled.

**He flung himself down at the kitchen table and faced Dudley and Aunt Petunia. **

James smiled at that, shaking his head.

**The Durselys appeared taken aback at his abrupt change of mind.**

"Well, seeing as you were about to hex them 10 seconds ago so that you could leave and now you're perfectly content to stay, I would say that's a normal reaction," Gideon said.

**Aunt Petunia glanced despairingly at Uncle Vernon. The vain in Uncle Vernon's purple temple was throbbing worse than ever.**

Lily shuddered. "He's quite scary and deranged looking when he does that."

"**Who are all these ruddy owls from?" he growled.**

"**The first one was from the Ministry of Magic, expelling me," said Harry calmly;**

"Wow, he put his emotions into check fast," Frank whistled.

"Harry's most level-headed in stressful situation," George said, once again causing Lily to fret over what the hell her son got up to.

Moody, however, looked pleased. "That's a quality of a good auror."

James grinned.

**he was straining his ears to catch noises outside in case the Ministry representatives were approaching, **

Moody nodded approvingly.

**and it was easier and quieter to answer Uncle Vernon's questions than to have him start raging and bellowing. **

"True," Remus agreed.

"**The second one was from my friend Ron's dad, he works at the Ministry."**

"Really?" James asked the future twins. "What department?"

"Misuse of Muggle Artifacts," Fred and George chorused.

"Interesting," James said, trying to recall if he had ever run into him at the Ministry.

"**_Ministry of Magic?"_ bellowed Uncle Vernon. "People like you in _government?_**

Everyone had offended looks on their faces.

"Yes, we have a government," Dorcas said, glaring at the book.

**Oh this explains everything, everything, no wonder the country's going to the dogs..."**

"We're actually trying to make things better. It's Voldemort that's making the country 'go to the dogs'," Marlene said hotly.

"The Ministry isn't really helping much though, if you think about it," Cardoc said thoughtfully. "So Vernon might actually have a point."

**When Harry did not respond, Uncle Vernon glared at him, then spat, "And why have you been expelled?"**

"**Because I did magic."**

James groaned. "Don't say it like that. It's going to make it seem like you did do magic on Dudley."

"**AHA!" roared Uncle Vernon, slamming his fist down on the top of the fridge, which sprang open; several of Dudley's low-fat snacks toppled out and burst on the floor. **

"Anger management," Fabian sang under his breath.

"**So you admit it!**

James sighed, shaking his head. "I told him."

"It's a book, mate, it can't understand you." Sirius told him.

"Oh...right," James said sheepishly.

_**What did you do to Dudley?"**_

"Nothing!" most of the room yelled.

"**Nothing," said Harry, slightly less calmly. "That wasn't me-" **

"**_Was,"_ muttered Dudley unexpectedly,**

"How about you keep your fat mouth shut, Diddy?" Sirius told the book venomously.

**and Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia instantly made flapping gestures at Harry to quiet him while they both bent low over Dudley.**

Lily looked indignant. "Don't shush my son! What he has to say is more important and more accurate than whatever Dudley is going to say!"

"**Go on, son," said Uncle Vernon, "what did he do?"**

"**Tell us, darling," whispered Aunt Petunia.**

"**Pointed his wand at me," Dudley mumbled.**

"Well...he did do that," Sirius snickered, causing Lily to glare at him.

"**Yeah, I did, but I didn't use-" Harry began angrily, but...**

"**SHUT UP!" roared Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia in unison. **

Lily and James looked murderous.

"**Go on, son," repeated Uncle Vernon, mustaches blowing about furiously.**

"**All dark," Dudley said hoarsely, shuddering. "Everything dark. And then I h-heard _things._ Inside m-my head."**

**Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia exchanged looks of utter horror. If their least favorite thing in the world was magic,**

"Even if you are a muggle, why would that be your least favorite thing in the world?" Sturgis asked , honestly curious.

"Because Petunia has always been jealous that I was a witch and she wasn't," Lily explained to him. "She convinced herself that magic was evil."

**closely followed by neighbors who cheated more than they did on the hosepipe ban, people who heard voices were definitely in the bottom ten. They obviously thought Dudley was losing his mind.**

"**What sort of things did you hear, popkin?" breathed Aunt Petunia, very white-faced and with tears in her eyes.**

**But Dudley seemed incapable of saying. He shuddered again and shook his large blonde head, and despite the sense of numb dread that had settled on Harry since the arrival of the first owl, he felt a certain curiosity. Dementors caused a person to relive the worst moments of their life... What would spoiled, pampered, bullying Dudley have been forced to hear?**

"That's a really good question," James said, thinking about what it could be.

"Might be the voices of all the people he's bullied and beat-up," Remus suggested.

James nodded. "Seems logical."

"It's coming from Moony, of course it's logical," Sirius said, grinning at his friend.

Remus rolled his eyes, trying not to smile.

"**How come you fell over, son?" said Uncle Vernon in an unnaturally quiet voice, the kind of voice he would adopt at the bedside of a very ill person.**

"**T-tripped," said Dudley shakily. "And then-"**

**He gestured at his massive chest. Harry understood: Dudley was remembering the clammy cold that filled the lungs as hope and happiness were sucked out of you.**

Anyone in the room who had ever been in the presence of a dementor shivered, remembering the sensation.

"**Horrible," croaked Dudley. "Cold. Really cold."**

"**Okay," said Uncle Vernon in a voice of forced calm, while Aunt Petunia laid an anxious hand on Dudley's forehead feel his temperature. "What happened then, Dudders?"**

"Stop with the ridiculous nicknames!" Sirius laughed.

Fred and George were in hysterics, not having been hear when everyone else heard it.

"**Felt...felt...felt...as if...as if..."**

"**As if you'd never be happy again," Harry supplied dully.**

Sirius and James groaned.

"Honestly did we teach him nothing about how to deal when authority is interrogating you?" Sirius asked James.

"If we did, we didn't do a very good job," James shook his head.

"**Yes," Dudley whispered, still trembling.**

"**So," said Uncle Vernon, voice restored to full and considerable volumes as he straightened up. "So you put some crackpot spell on my son so he'd hear voices and believe he was - was doomed to misery, or something, did you?"**

Lily growled, voice rising with her temper. "He. Didn't. Do. It! How many times do we – I mean he – have to tell you?"

"**How many times do I have to tell you?" said Harry, temper and voice rising together.**

"Wonder who he gets that from?" Sirius whispered to James. James grinned at his fiery wife.

"**_It wasn't me!_ It was a couple of dementors!"**

"You tell them Harry," Fred lauhed.

"**A couple of - what's this codswallop?"**

Lily giggled and a few others laughed at that.

"**De - men - tors, said Harry, slowly and clearly. **

James laughed, telling his wife that that was a trait of hers.

"**Two of them."**

"**And what the ruddy hell are dementors?"**

"**They guard the wizard prison, Azkaban," said Aunt Petunia.**

"Wait...what?" Sirius exclaimed. "Did you read that right James?"

James was just as dumbfounded. "Yeah, yeah I did."

Lily shifted uneasily, knowing where Petunia had heard that information. She didn't know why she was uneasy and didn't want James to know, he knew her and Snape had been friends. For whatever reason she didn't want to tell him where Petunia had found that out.

"Petunia did grow up in a house with me," Lily said. "I probably mentioned it to my parents and she heard."

**Two seconds' ringing silence followed these words and then Aunt Petunia clapped her hand over her mouth as though she had let slip a disgusting swear word.**

Lily rolled her eyes.

**Uncle Vernon was goggling at her. Harry's brain reeled. Mrs. Figg was one thing - _but Aunt Petunia?_**

"Tell me about it," Sirius said.

"**How d'you know that?" he asked her, astonished.**

"I really can't blame the poor kid," Alice said.

**Aunt Petunia looked quite appalled with herself. She glanced at Uncle Vernon in fearful apology,**

Lily glanced at the book suspiciously. Why would Petunia look at Vernon fearfully just for saying something about the wizarding world? Lily wondered for a second if Vernon ever abused her sister, but then immediately shook the thought away. For all his faults, he really did love Petunia. Still, the thought of anyone laying a finger on her sister, no matter how annoying, made her angry.

**then lowered her hand slightly to reveal her horsey teeth.**

"**I heard – that awful boy – telling _her_ about them – years ago," she said jerkily.**

James looked taken aback. "I don't remember ever mentioning dementors or Azkaban around her."

"I'm sure you have, and even if you haven't yet, you could in the future," Lily told him nervously.

"**If you mean my mum and dad, why don't you use their names?" said Harry loudly, **

Lily smiled sweetly at the baby in her arms. "Thanks for defending us sweetheart."

**but Aunt Petunia ignored him. She seemed horribly flustered. **

**Harry was stunned. Except for one outburst years ago, in the course of which Aunt Petunia had screamed that Harry's mother had been a freak, **

Lily rolled her eyes, having heard the speech many times.

James, however, was panicking, having not missed the past tense. _Had been?_ What could that mean? Certainly not...the mere thought made James flinch and clutch Lily to him.

Lily looked up at him, confused. James just shook his head and gave her a weak smile.

James wasn't the only one who had caught the past tense. A few others were looking at Lily worriedly.

**he had never heard her mention her sister.**

Lily found this weird. Surely when she dropped Harry off at Petunia's wouldn't Petunia have to face her? Unless things had gotten so bad in the future that Lily didn't even want to see her sister...

James just found this more evidence for his ever increasing dread.

**He was astounded that she had remembered this scrap of information about the magical world for so long, when she usually put all her energy into pretending it didn't exist. **

"What a waste of energy," Remus said, shaking his head.

**Uncle Vernon opened his mouth,**

A majority of the room groaned, wishing he would just keep his mouth shut.

**closed it again,**

Gideon, Fabian, and the Marauders cheered, making everyone smile.

**opened it once more,**

Groan.

**shut it,**

Cheer.

**then, apparently struggling to remember how to talk opened it for a third time and croaked, **

A chorus of groans.

"**So – so – they – er – they – er – they actually exist, do they, - er – dementy-whatsits?"**

Sirius laughed. "Great name. I might have to call them that from now on."

**Aunt Petunia nodded.**

**Uncle Vernon looked from Aunt Petunia to Dudley to Harry as if hoping somebody was going to shout "April Fool!"**

"You're the fool," Lily muttered.

"That's out birthday!" Fred and George excitedly said.

A few people laughed at that.

"That's brilliant," Sirius laughed.

**When nobody did, he opened his mouth yet again,**

"Shut up!" the older twins and Marauders yelled.

**but was spared the struggle to find more words by the arrival of the third owl of the evening,**

"Thank you owl!" James said.

**which zoomed through the still-open window like a feathery cannonball and landed with a clatter on the kitchen table, causing all three of the Dursleys to jump with fright. **

Some people snickered at that.

**Harry tore a second official-looking envelope from the owl's beak and ripped it open as the owl swooped back out into the night. **

"**Enough – effing – _owls_..." **

Lily gasped, covering baby Harry's tiny ears. "Don't say that word around my son!"

"It's a hazard to your health, trust me," Sirius told the book, wincing at some memory that caused Lily to grin.

**muttered Uncle Vernon distractedly, stomping over to the window and slamming it shut again. **

"That's not going to stop the owls," Sturgis said.

**Dear Mr. Potter,**

**Further to our letter of approximate twenty-two minutes ago, the Ministry of Magic has revised its decision to destroy your wand forthwith.**

"YES!" James, Sirius, Remus, and Lily all yelled, hugging each other and baby Harry. The rest of the room almost made sounds of happiness.

**You may retain your wand until your disciplinary hearing on 12th August, at which time an official decision will be taken. **

**Following discussions with the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the Ministry has agreed that the question of your expulsion will also be decided at that time.**

Beaming, Lily thanked Dumbledore.

**You should therefore consider yourself suspended from school pending further inquiries. **

**With best wishes,**

**Yours sincerely, **

_**Mafalda Hopkirk**_

**Improper Use Of Magic Office**

_**Ministry of Magic**_

**Harry read this letter through tree times in quick succession. The miserable knot in his chest loosened slightly at the thought that he was not definitely expelled,**

Lily smiled, glad her son was no longer miserable.

**though his fears were by no means banished. Everything seemed to hang on this hearing on the twelfth of August. **

"If you have a fair hearing, you should get off no problem," Marlene said.

"**Well?" said Uncle Vernon, recalling Harry to his surroundings. "What now? Have they sentenced you to anything? Do your lot have the death penalty?" he added as a hopeful afterthought. **

Lily gasped in horror and clutched Harry to her. "Don't even joke about that!"

"I don't think he's joking," Remus whispered to Sirius angrily, which made Sirius growl.

"**I've got to go to a hearing," said Harry. **

"**And they'll sentence you there?"**

"**I suppose so."**

"**I won't give up hope, then," said Uncle Vernon nastily. **

Lily started mumbling about the many painful deaths Vernon Dursely would go through.

"**Well, if that's all," said Harry, getting to his feet. He was desperate to be alone, to think, perhaps to send a letter to Ron, Hermione, or Sirius. **

Sirius grinned at that.

However, Lily frowned. "Why doesn't he want to write a letter to us?" she asked James. James reminded her that no mail was allowed on missions, but was insanely worried himself.

"**NO, IT RUDDY WELL IS NOT ALL!" bellowed Uncle Vernon. "SIT BACK DOWN!" **

"**What now?" said Harry, impatiently.**

"**DUDLEY!" roared Uncle Vernon. "I want to know exactly what happened to my son!" **

"I can't exactly blame him, though he could ask more nicely," Lily said.

"**FINE!" yelled Harry, and in his temper, red and gold sparks shot out of the end of his wand, **

James's eyes widened. "Does that mean he's a Gryffindor?" He looked at Fred and George, who nodded.

"Yes!" James yelled, punching the air excitedly. Sirius and Remus were grinning. James hugged Lily. "He's going to be in our house Lily!"

Lily smiled at her husband and the baby in her arms.

Dumbledore looked thoughtful. "He must be a true Gryffindor to make those colors come out of his wand."

This just made James smile even wider.

**still clutched in his hand. All three Dursleys flinched, looking terrified. **

A few people laughed at that.

"**Dudley and I were in the alleyway between Magnolia Crescent and Wisteria Walk," said Harry, speaking fast, fighting to control his temper. "Dudley thought he'd be smart with me,**

"If I remember correctly, you started that Harry," Lily reprimanded him.

"Yes, but Lils, Dudley took it to far with taunting him about someone he saw murdered," James said.

Lily flinched at the reminder.

**I pulled out my wand but didn't use it. Then two dementors turned up –"**

"**But what ARE dementoids?" **

"Dementoids, that's even better," Sirius laughed.

**asked Uncle Vernon furiously. "What do they DO?"**

"**I told you – they suck all the happiness out of you," said Harry, "and if they get a chance, they kiss you-"**

"Out of context, that sounds really weird," Alice said.

"**Kiss you?" said Uncle Vernon, his eyes popping slightly. _"Kiss you?"_**

A couple people laughed at Vernon's reaction.

"**Its what they call it when they suck the soul out of your mouth." **

James laughed. "I love how blunt he is!"

**Aunt Petunia uttered a soft scream.**

Lily rolled her eyes.

"**His _soul?_ They didn't take – he's still got his -"**

"Of course he's still got his soul you idiot! You would know if he didn't." Lily told the book.

**She seized Dudley by the shoulders and shook him, as though testing to see whether she could hear his soul rattling around inside him.**

"Ok, I know I overreact about Harry sometimes, but that's going to far. You can't hear someone's soul inside of them!"

"**Of course they didn't get his soul, you'd know if they had," said Harry, exasperated. **

Lily looked a little taken aback. James grinned. "Looks like he thinks like you a lot, too."

"**Fought 'em off, did you, son?" said Uncle Vernon loudly,**

Everyone looked dumbfounded at the stupidity of Uncle Vernon.

"You're non-magical son can't fight off a dementor you imbecile!" Lily yelled.

**with the appearance of a man struggling to bring the conversation back onto a plane he understood. "Gave 'em the old one-two, did you?"**

"You can't give a dementor _the old one-two_," James said indignantly.

"**You can't give a dementor _the old one-two,_" said Harry through clenched teeth. **

James just shook his head smiling at the repetition of him and his son. Lily smiled at her husband, "But he's still a lot like you."

"**Why's he all right, then?" blustered Uncle Vernon. "Why isn't he all empty, then?" **

"Because Harry totally kicked his ass!" exclaimed Sirius.

"Watch your language Sirius!" Lily yelled, smacking him.

"Ow! Yes ma'am," agreed Sirius.

"**Because I used the Patronus-" **

**_WHOOSH._ With a clattering, a whirring of wings, and a soft fall of dust, a fourth owl came shooting out of the kitchen fireplace. **

"I told you just closing the window wouldn't keep the owls out. They find any and every way to get their letters delivered," said Sturgis.

"**FOR GOD'S SAKE!" roared Uncle Vernon, pulling great clumps of hair out of his mustache,**

"Why would you do that?" Alice asked, while James and Sirius snickered at the image.

**something he hadn't been driven to in a long time. "I WILL NOT HAVE OWLS HERE, I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS, I TELL YOU!" **

"What are you going to do about it Dursley?" James asked.

**But Harry was already pulling a roll of parchment from the owl's leg. He was so convinced that this letter had to be from Dumbledore, explaining everything – the dementors, Mrs. Figg, what the Ministry was up to, how he, Dumbledore, intended to sort everything out - that for the first time in his life he was disappointed to see Sirius's handwriting.**

Sirius looked offended. "Aw, Pup. Why are you disappointed to see that you have a letter from me? I'm awesome."

Remus snorted at that. "I understand him though. He wants answers from Dumbledore. Answers you probably can't give him."

Sirius nodded, still offended.

**Ignoring Uncle Vernon's ongoing rant about owls and narrowing his eyes against a second cloud of dust as the most recent owl took off back up the chimney, Harry read Sirius's message. **

_**Arthur's just told us what happened. **_

"Who's us?" James asked curiously. It couldn't be him or Lily.

"I don't know any better than you do, James."

_**Don't leave the house again, whatever you do. **_

"That's not what he wants to hear right now," James told Sirius.

Sirius frowned. "I know."

**Harry found this such an inadequate response to everything that had happened tonight that he turned the piece of parchment over, looking for the rest of the letter, but there was nothing there. **

Sirius bowed his head. His letter was completely useless for his godson. He felt horrible.

**And now his temper was rising again. Wasn't _anybody _going to say "well done" for fighting off two dementors single-handedly? **

****"Well done," James, Remus, Sirius, and both twins told Harry.

**Both Mr. Weasley and Sirius were acting as though he'd misbehaved and they were saving their tellings-off until they could ascertain how much damage had been done.**

Sirius made a face at that. "I'm supposed to be the fun godfather, not the one that tells him off and reprimands him."

"**-a peck, I mean, pack of owls shooting in and out of my house and I won't have it, boy, I won't-"**

"**I can't stop the owls coming," Harry snapped, crushing Sirius's letter in his fist. **

Sirius pouted.

"**I want the truth about what happened tonight!" barked Uncle Vernon. "If it was demenders who hurt Dudley, how come you've been expelled? You did you-know-what, you've admitted it!"**

**Harry took a deep, steadying breath.**

"I'm surprised he kept his cool this long," said Remus, looking at Lily and James, thinking of both of their short-tempers. Well, that wasn't true. James was pretty level-headed most of the time, just sometimes he would explode in anger over the slightest thing after having built things up over a long period of time.

**His head was beginning to ache again. He wanted more than anything to get out of the kitchen , away from the Dursleys.**

"**I did the Patronus Charm to get rid of the dementors," he said, forcing himself to remain calm. "It's the only thing that works against them."**

"**But what were dementoids _doing_ in Little Whinging?" said Uncle Vernon in tones of outrage.**

"Wouldn't we all like to know?" Lily muttered. 

"**Couldn't tell you," said Harry wearily. "No idea."**

**His head was pounding in the glare of the strip lighting now. His anger was ebbing away. He felt drained, exhausted. **

"Stop interrogating him and let him go to sleep," Lily commanded.

**The Dursleys were all staring at him. **

"**It's you," said Uncle Vernon forcefully.**

"What?"

"**It's got something to do with you, boy, I know it. Why else would they turn up here? Why else would they be down that alleyway? You've go to be the only – the only -" Evidently he couldn't bring himself to say the word 'wizard.' "The only _you-know-what_ for miles."**

There were a few gasps at that, Lily loudest of all.

"Of course! Of course! Why didn't I see it! They were attacking him, they were sent after him specifically!" panicked Lily until James hugged and reassured her, though he was also upset by this.

"**I don't know why they were here..."**

**But at these words of Uncle Vernon's, Harry's exhausted brain ground back into action. Why _had_ the dementors come to Little Whinging? How _could_ it be coincidence that they had arrived in the alleyway where Harry was? Had they been sent? Had the Ministry of Magic lost control of the dementors, had they deserted Azkaban and joined Voldemort, as Dumbledore had predicted they would?**

This just caused more groaning.

"**These dementors guard some weirdos' prison?" said Uncle Vernon, lumbering in the wake of Harry's train of thought. **

Sirius shuddered, remembering he would spend 12 years in that 'weirdos' prison.

"**Yes," said Harry. **

**If only his head would stop hurting, if only he could just leave the kitchen and get to his dark bedroom and _think..._**

"**Oho! They were coming to arrest you!" said Uncle Vernon, **

"That can't possibly be the reason, he's just making things up," Alice told Lily before she could panic about this.

**with the triumphant air of a man reaching an unassailable conclusion. "That's it, isn't it, boy? You're on the run from the law!" **

Fred and George scoffed at that, before realizing that that was almost exactly what Harry was doing now in their time. Of course he was also on some super-secret mission from Dumbledore, but he _was_ the most wanted person currently in the country.

"**Of course I'm not," said Harry, shaking his head as though to scare off a fly, his mind racing now. **

Lily sighed in relief. She hadn't really thought he was on the run, but it was good to have confirmation.

"**Then why-?"**

"**He must have sent them," said Harry quietly, more to himself than to Uncle Vernon. **

"Who?" Lily asked. "I mean he can't be talking about..." she trailed off in horror.

"It would make the most sense," Frank said, earning a glare from James.

"**What's that? Who must have sent them?"**

"**Lord Voldemort," said Harry. **

Lily moaned.

**He registered dimly how strange it was that the Dursleys, who flinched, winced, and squawked if they heard words like "wizard," "magic," or "wand," could hear the name of the most evil wizard of all time without the slightest terror. **

"That is rather strange."

"**Lord-hang on," said Uncle Vernon, his face screwed up, a look of dawning comprehension in his piggy eyes. "I've heard that name...that was the one who..."**

James dropped the book in horror, having read the next line.

Everyone looked at him concerned. Fred and George knew what it must say. They had grim looks on their faces. They were already beginning to like Harry's parents. Tim looked sad, also knowing what James had just read.

"What does the book say, James?"

James looked around the room, and locked eyes with his wife, bringing tears to his eyes. He couldn't picture her- he shook off the thought in disgust.

Lily looked in earnest at her husband and got a sinking feeling in her stomach. James rarely cried. "What happens James?" Lily whispered.

James looked at her as he picked up the book and read the next line.

"**Murdered my parents, yes," Harry said dully. **

Their were a few moments of horrified silence until Alice broke it with a sob. Then everyone broke down.

Marlene and Dorcas both cried. Caradoc, Benjy, Dedalas, Elphias and Aberforth all looked grim and were looking at James and Lily. Hagrid had broken down into sobs that were shaking the table. Edgar tried to maintain a cool demeanor, but a tear slipped down his cheek. Frank was held Alice to her while she cried, trying to comfort her the best he could while he was also upset. Gideon and Fabian looked horrified tried to comprehend that these two people sitting in front of them that were just starting their life were dead. Though he didn't show it, Mad-eye was upset by their deaths too. They were both good fighters and valuable members of the Order as well as good, intelligent people. McGonagall was crying silently. It was painful for her to hear of two of her favorite students being murdered by that vile creature. The familiar twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes had vanished, replaced by deep sadness and regret. Fred and George was looking at everybody sadly, knowing most of them would be dead soon too, and realizing how much each and every person in the room cared for Harry's parents.

James was clutching Lily and Harry to him, his tears wetting Lily's hair. He could deal with himself dying, he had accepted that as a possibility when he had joined, but he couldn't bear to hear that his wonderful, charismatic, feisty wife, the woman that he had been in love with since he was 11, was gone. Lily was sobbing into James's chest, nuzzling Harry's head. She felt her husband's strong arms around her and his hot tears falling on her head. She couldn't believe that he would be gone. A world with-ought James...it was unbearable to even contemplate. And her poor baby boy. She couldn't bear thinking about leaving him, especially in the care of her sister.

Remus's tears were falling freely as he looked at one of his oldest childhood friends, one of the first one's to accept him for what he was, holding his wife while he cried. He couldn't comprehend it. James and Lily...dead. It wasn't plausible. They had just gotten married and had a baby, they had their whole lives ahead of them. Why couldn't it have been someone else? Someone who didn't have as much to live for...someone like him? He shook this thought away. He knew what his friends would say if they knew he was thinking like this. He did have people to live for; James, Sirius, Peter, Lily, and the little baby currently engulfed in Lily's and James's hug. His nephew who now didn't have parents, who would apparently go live with his horrid Aunt and Uncle. Remus vowed then to himself that he would do whatever he could to watch after Harry for Lily and James and keep him safe.

Sirius was staring open-mouthed and horrified at at Lily and James. It couldn't be true, it just couldn't be. Not James...his best friend since their meeting on the Hogwarts Express all those years ago. James was practically his brother. When he was 16 James and his parents had taken Sirius in, no questions asked. And Lily... while it had taken him a while to warm up to her after her constant rejection of his best friend, he had not only accepted her when he realized how much she loved James, but had grown to love her as a little sister and would beat anyone who harmed her to a pulp. His fury at Voldemort and the Death Eaters and basically the whole situation welled up in him, until he jumped up from the table angrily, knocking his chair over. "DAMMIT!" he yelled, turning away and punching the wall in frustration.

Everyone stopped what they had been doing to look at him. James got up, still holding Lily's hand, and reached out, "Sirius-"

"Why? Why James? That bastard, I can't believe- and you," Sirius tried to convey his grief and anger, but just choked off as he started crying.

"I know," James whispered as he stepped forward and hugged the man who was like his brother. Lily wrapped her arm around Sirius, holding Harry with the other. Remus got up to come join them and they all just held each other while they cried.

After what seemed like an eternity, they broke apart wiping their eyes and returning to the table. James picked up the book, but didn't think he could manage reading the rest. Tim decided that it would be difficult for any of them to read so he took the book and began to read.

"**But he's gone," said Uncle Vernon impatiently, without the slightest sign that the murder of Harry's parents might be a painful topic to anybody. **

Most of the room glared at the book, angry at the complete lack of tack of Vernon Dursely.

"**That giant bloke said so.**

Lily looked at Hagrid. "Is he talking about you?"

Hagrid shrugged, still bleary-eyed from crying.

**He's gone." **

"**He's back," said Harry heavily. **

Most of the room was still trying to comprehend that Voldemort had been gone. And now was somehow back and that Harry had witnessed it.

**It felt very strange to be standing here in Aunt Petunia's surgically clean, kitchen, beside the top-of-the-range fridge and the wide-screen television, and talking calmly of Lord Voldemort to Uncle Vernon. The arrival of the dementors in Little Whinging seemed to have caused a breach in the great, invisible wall that divided the relentlessly non-magical world of Privet Drive and the world beyond.**

Lily looked at the tiny baby in her arms sadly, not wanting him to be raised in a house that he had to hide and not talk about who he was.

**Harry's two lives had somehow become fused and everything had turned upside down: The Dursleys were asking for details about the magical world and Mrs, Figg knew Albus Dumbledore; dementors were soaring around Little Whinging and he might never go back to Hogwarts. Harry's head throbbed more painfully. **

"Poor kid."

"**Back?" whispered Aunt Petunia. **

**She was looking at Harry as she had never looked at him before. **

"Yes, Petunia would know how bad that would be," Lily whispered, thinking of their parents' murders by the Death Eaters because Lily refused to join them.

**And all of a sudden, for the very first time in his life, Harry fully appreciated that Aunt Petunia was his mother's sister.**

Lily didn't quite know how to feel about that.

**He could not have said why this hit him so very powerfully at this moment. All he knew was that he was not the only person in the room who had an inkling of what Lord Voldemort being back meant. Aunt Petunia had never in her life looked at him like that before. Her large, pale eyes (so unlike her sister's) **

James smiled and looked into his wife's bright emerald eyes, that were so very different from Petunia's.

**were not narrowed in dislike or anger: They were wide and fearful. The furious pretense that Aunt Petunia had maintained all Harry's life **

Lily took a deep breath and looked at Fred and George. "When exactly did James and I die? How old was Harry?"

Fred and George glanced at each other before answering her.

"October 31st, 1981," Fred said.

"Harry was one," George finished.

Alice gasped. "But...but that's just a few months away!"

James held Lily to him again. Knowing he and Lily were going to die was one thing, but knowing that he only had a few short months left with his wife and son...he cringed.

Lily was trying not to cry again. She wouldn't even have the chance to watch her precious son grow up. He would never even know her and James. He would grow-up with her sister and her horrid husband. It was too much to take in.

Sirius and Remus were looking grim, not believing that they only had a few months left with their best friends and nephew. Everyone else was looking depressed by the approaching date.

– **that there was no magic and no world other than the world she inhabited with Uncle Vernon – seemed to have fallen away. **

"**Yes," Harry said, talking directly to Aunt Petunia now. "He came back a month ago. I saw him."**

"And he was calling for us to help him, and we couldn't since we were dead," Lily whispered huskily to James. James winced at that he held Lily tighter.

**Her hands found Dudley's massive leather-clad shoulders and clutched them. **

"It was my son that saw him return and almost died, not yours you horrid excuse of a person!" Lily yelled. She actually wasn't that mad at her sister for that, but all of her anger at her family's situation needed to be let out somewhere.

"**Hang on," said Uncle Vernon, looking from his wife to Harry and back again, apparently dazed and confused by the unprecedented understanding that seemed to have sprung between them. "Hang on. This Lord Voldything's**

A majority of the room roared with laughter at that.

"We so have to start calling him that now," Sirius said, laughing the loudest of all.

**back, you say."**

"**Yes."**

"**The one who murdered your parents?" **

Most of the room winced at that.

"Could you not say that in such and off-hand way?" Sirius said miserably.

"**Yes." **

"**And now he's sending dismembers after you?"**

"**Look's like it," said Harry. **

Lily shook her head, not understanding how her son was in this situation.

"**I see," said Uncle Vernon, looking from his white-faced wife to Harry and hitching up his trousers. He seemed to be swelling, his great purple face stretching before Harry's eyes. "Well, that settles it," he said, his shirt front straining as he inflated himself, _"you can get out of this house, boy!"_**

"WHAT?" was echoed thorough out the room.

"You can't kick my son out of the house!" James yelled.

"Especially after he tells you how much danger he's in!" screeched Lily.

Sirius and Remus were growling at the book. Tim decided it was best to just go ahead and continue.

"**What?" said Harry. **

"**You heard me – OUT!" Uncle Vernon bellowed, and even Aunt Petunia and Dudley jumped. "OUT! OUT! I should've done it years ago! Owls treating the place like a rest home, puddings exploding,**

The Marauders snickered.

"Brilliant!" Fabian and Gideon grinned.

Lily groaned, she had a feeling that Harry was going to inherit his father's flair for trouble-making.

**half the lounge destroyed,**

Fred and George laughed loudly at that.

Fabian and Gideon smirked at them. "Would that be your handiwork?"

"No, we can't take all the credit," George began.

"Dad and Ron helped. We were trying to floo there to pick up Harry, not realizing they had an electrical fireplace," finished Fred, laughing.

Fabian and Gideon burst into laughter, as did the Marauders, Lily, and a few other members of the room.

"Tuney must have freaked out," Lily managed to get out through her laughter.

"That's so awesome," Sirius laughed, giving the twins a high-five.

Fred and George were grinning proudly.

**Dudley's tail, **

Everyone laughed at this, though they didn't quite know what it meant they could deduce reasonably well.

**Marge bobbing around on the ceiling,**

Fred and George chuckled remembering Dad talking about that. Lily laughed with delight, she couldn't stand Marge.

**and that flying Ford Anglia**

This caused Fred and George to break into renewed laughter.

James was smiling at them, "Did you two have something to do with that as well?"

"Yeah, along with Ron and a bit of help from dad," Fred said, beaming.

"This was the summer after Harry's first year, and Ron had been writing to him all summer with no reply," George said.

"So we decided to go see what was up."

"We um...borrowed our dad's flying car-"

"And by borrow you mean take without his knowledge?"

Fred nodded, continuing. "We show up at Harry's house, see that The Dursleys have him locked in his room with bars on his window and his owl cage padlocked."

Lily made a noise like a wild animal in her throat and James looked murderous. Everybody looked furious at this too.

"When we arrived we pulled the bars off of Harry's window and rescued him, but we forgot his owl, who made a fuss-"

"Which alerted the Dursleys to our presence and they tried to stop Harry from coming with us, but come on, we had a flying car!"

"We got away and took him to our house where he stayed for the rest of the summer," George finished.

Fabian and Gideon smiled proudly at their nephews and Lily came around to hug Fred and George, thanking them for rescuing her son. Fred and George blushed at this and told her it was no problem.

– **OUT! OUT! You've had it! You're history! You're not staying here if some loony's after you, you're not endangering my wife and son, and you're not bringing trouble down on us, if you're going the same way as your useless parents, I've had it! OUT!" **

The room was filled with people making noises of anger and dibelief. Sirius looked ready to jump into the book and beat up Dursley. James was furious at how this man was talking to his son. Lily was muttering about coming back from the dead to murder Dursley herself.

**Harry stood rooted to the spot. The letters from the Ministry, Mr. Weasley, and Sirius were crushed in his left hand. _Don't leave the house again, whatever you do. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR AUNT AND UNCLE'S HOUSE._**

"Well, at least that letter had some use," Sirius said. Lily smiled at him.

"**You heard me!" said Uncle Vernon, bending forward now, so that his massive purple face came closer to Harry's, so that Harry actually felt flecks of spit hit his face. **

"Get away from my son," James growled.

"**Get going! You were all keen to leave half an hour ago! I'm right behind you! Get out and never darken our doorstep again! Why we ever kept you in the first place I don't know, Marge was right, it should have been the orphanage,**

Lily gasped clutching Harry to her, before looking at Dumbledore. "Why? Why out of anybody did you send Harry to live with my sister? You see how they treat him! Why not Sirius or Remus or Alice and Frank? Anyone but them!"

Dumbledore looked sadly at the young mother who would die far before her time. "Alas, I don't know all the reasons behind my future self's choice. I do have theories...I would have to know how you exactly you died." Dumbledore then started thinking about ancient magic and how it could possibly be applied here...

Lily, seeing the far-off look in Dumbledore's eyes decided it was pointless to pursue her question and how her death had happened mattered in Harry's guardian choice.

**we were too damn soft for our own good, thought we could squash it out of you,**

"_Squash it out of him?_" McGonagall asked astounded. "You can't _squash_ magic out of a child!"

A look of sadness momentarily flashed across Dumbledore's face, thinking of his late sister, Ariana.

**thought we could turn you normal, but you've been rotten from the beginning,**

"I think you have my son confused with your lard of an off-spring."

**and I've had enough – OWLS!"**

**The fifth owl zoomed down the chimney so fast it actually hit the floor before zooming into the air again with a loud screech.**

Everybody laughed, thinking the owl had perfect timing.

**Harry raised his hand to seize the letter, which was in a scarlet envelope, but it soared straight over his head, flying directly at Aunt Petunia, who let out a scream and ducked, her arms over her face.**

Lily laughed knowing how much her sister detested owls, then stopped wondering why the owl went to her. What witch or wizard could be writing to her anti-magical sister?

**The owl dropped the red envelope on her head, turned, and flew straight up the chimney again. **

"Red?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow mischievously.

**Harry darted forward to pick up the letter, but Aunt Petunia beat him to it. **

"**You can open it if you like," said Harry, "but I'll hear what it says anyway. That's a Howler."**

Lily and the Marauders laughed loudly at that.

"**Let go of it, Petunia!" roared Uncle Vernon. "Don't touch it, it could be dangerous!"**

"Well...I'm not going to exactly argue with that," Remus chuckled.

"**It's addressed to me," said Aunt Petunia in a shaking voice. "It's addressed to _me_, Vernon, look! _Mrs. Petunia Dursley, The Kitchen, Number Four, Privet Drive -"_**

"Who could be writing to her?" asked Alice perplexedly.

**She caught her breath, horrified. The red envelope had begun to smoke. **

Sirius rubbed his hands together in gleeful anticipation.

"**Open it!" Harry urged her. "Get it over with! It'll happen anyway-" **

"**No-"**

**Aunt Petunia's hand was trembling. She looked wildly around the kitchen as though looking for an escape route, but too late – the envelope burst into flames. Aunt Petunia screamed and dropped it.**

Lily and Sirius laughed. 

**An awful voice filled the kitchen, echoing in the confined space, issuing from the burning letter on the table. **

"_**REMEMBER MY LAST, PETUNIA." **_

Most of the room looked at each other confused. "What?" "Who could that be from?"

Dumbledore smiled serenely, thinking it was most likely him making sure Harry stayed with his blood family.

McGonagall noticed Dumbledore's smile, confirming her suspicions. That address sounded very _Hogwarts_ specific.

**Aunt Petunia looked as though she might faint. **

Lily snickered.

**She sank into the chair beside Dudley, her face in her hands. The remains of the envelope smoldered into ash in the silence. **

"**What is this?" Uncle Vernon said hoarsely. "What – I don't – Petunia?"**

**Aunt Petunia said nothing. Dudley was staring stupidly at his mother, his mouth hanging open. The silence spiraled horribly. Harry was watching his aunt, utterly bewildered, his head throbbing fit to burst. **

"**Petunia, dear?" said Uncle Vernon timidly. "P-Petunia?"**

**She raised her head. She was still trembling. She swallowed. **

"**The boy – the boy will have to stay, Vernon," she said weakly. **

"What?"

"How did that change Petunia's opinion?"

Lily felt a rush of compassion for her sister. She didn't know who that letter was from, or what it meant, but it made her sister stand up for Harry and Lily would take what she could get.

"**W-what?" **

"**He stays," she said. She was not looking at Harry. She got to her feet again. **

"**He...but Petunia..."**

"**If we throw him out, the neighbors will talk," she said. **

Lily shook her head at this. It was so Petunia.

**She was regaining her usual brisk, snappish manner rapidly, though she was still very pale.**

Lily sighed. The brief glimpse of the old big sister she had so looked up to pre-Hogwarts was gone, replaced by the new, bitter Petunia Dursely.

"**They'll ask awkward questions, they'll want to know where he's gone. We'll have to keep him."**

**Uncle Vernon was deflating like an old tire. **

"**But Petunia, dear-"**

**Aunt Petunia ignored him. She turned to Harry. **

"**You're to stay in your room," she said. "You're not to leave the house. Now get to bed."**

The room sighed in relief, glad that Harry was staying safely at his Aunt and Uncle's house.

**Harry didn't move.**

"**Who was that Howler from?"**

"**Don't ask questions," Aunt Petunia snapped.**

"**Are you in touch with wizards?"**

"**I told you to get to bed!"**

"**What did it mean? Remember the last what?"**

Sirius laughed. "He's so stubborn."

"**Go to bed!"**

"**How come -"**

This caused Lily and James to laugh too.

"**YOU HEARD YOUR AUNT, NOW GET TO BED!"]**

"Geez, you could have been nicer about it," Sirius said.

"That the end of the chapter," Tim announced.

**A/N: So how did you peoples like it? I'd love your opinions on Destiny, Time, and Tim. I wanted to add that so that I can decide later on whether or not I want them to actually change the future, and either way, these people will be the way how. When I created Tim he greatly annoyed me, but the little guy has grown on me XD He won't be in the story much since he already knows everything that happens, but he will make comments from time to time. And you know hit on Lily XD Poor James. **

**I'd love to say that I'll have the next chapter ready soon, but I highly doubt it. Sorry. I'll start immediately, but it will still take a while. In the mean time you should definitely go watch 'A Very Potter Musical' on youtube if you haven't already seen it. No, siriusly go right now. It's like the best thing ever! If you have...go watch it again! It's always worth a re-watch. Always. **

**That's all for now! Please leave a review and have a great day!(Oh wow, how cheesy is that X)?)**


	4. The Advanced Guard

**Look at this quick update! (Well by my standards) It's only been 34 days! Today is the 35th. Just a little over a month. I'd like to be a bit faster, but this is far better timing than my last update. It has to be a new record for me. Whoo!**

**You guys are still so great and I cherish each of your reviews :)!**

**Seeing as how I just got back from seeing HP and the DH Part 1 for the second time(I went originally on release day), this chapter is going to be dedicated to (slight spoilers if you haven't seen the movie) Hedwig, Mad-Eye Moody, and especially Dobby.**

**Disclaimer: Does it look like I own HP? Nope! **

The residents of the room decided to take a break to eat and to meet the two newcomers. Dumbledore had the house-elves bring up some food. Fabian and Gideon were enjoying talking and getting to know their nephews. James, Sirius, and Remus also enjoyed the twins company. They found that twins were quite the pranksters and were happy that someone would continue harassing Minnie in the future. McGonagall, however, groaned at the thought of another 7 years of pranking.

Dumbledore was thinking about what they had learned in the last chapter. It would seem that Voldemort had picked the child he thought the Prophecy foretold about. Dumbledore contemplated what this could mean for Harry.

Lily had walked over to the boys with baby Harry to talk to them. As soon as she reached them, though, Fred and George grinned and asked if they could hold Harry. Lily looked at them strangely, handing Harry to Fred. It was obvious they wouldn't hurt him.

Harry looked up at Fred with his emerald eyes, wondering who this new, strange person was holding him. The red hair reassured him though, reminding him of his momma, so he didn't immediately start crying.

"Hello Harry," George said, leaning in behind Fred to wave at Harry. Harry waved his fist in reply, which caused Fred and George to laugh. At the sound, Harry giggled.

"Blimey this is weird," Fred said, holding Harry up.

"Where's a camera when you need one?" George asked. At that moment a camera appeared in George's hands.

"Oh, forgot what room we were in," George chuckled. "Ok, Fred, cuddle with Harry."

Fred laughed hugging baby Harry and striking different poses. Everyone was watching them now. George handed Fred and the camera and took Harry. "My turn!"

George now posed with Harry as Fred took pictures. By now the Marauders and a few others were laughing. Fred handed the camera to Lily. "Could you take some of me and George together?"

Lily nodded as Fred joined George. Harry was giggling at the twins antics. After taking several more pictures, Fred and George finished with kissing baby Harry on both cheeks, knowing how much this would embarrass the 17 year old. By the end of the picture session Lily was laughing too, along with the Marauders and Fabian and Gideon, who were in hysterics.

George took the camera from Lily, and handed her Harry back.

"I can't wait to show Harry these pictures," Fred said, grinning mischievously.

When the group had eaten their fill of food, they gathered around the table to continue the book.

Tim held up the book. "Anyone else want to read?"

"I think I will," Remus volunteered, reaching for the book.

**Chapter 3: The Advance Guard**

Everyone looked at each other quizzically, wondering what this could mean.

_**I've just been attacked by Dementors and I might be expelled from Hogwarts. I want to know what's going on and when I'm going to get out of here.**_

"That's what I would want to know," James said.

**Harry copied these words on to three separate pieces of parchment the moment he reached the desk in his dark bedroom. He addressed the first to Sirius,**

Sirius grinned at that.

**the second to Ron and the third to Hermione.**

Fred and George smiled. They had missed the trio over the past year.

**His owl, Hedwig, was off hunting; **

"Hedwig, I like that name," Lily smiled softly.

**her cage stood empty on the desk. Harry paced the bedroom waiting for her to come back, his head pounding, his brain too busy for sleep even though his eyes stung and itched with tiredness.**

The majority of the room could sympathize with this.

"That feeling sucks," Sirius said.

**His back ached from hauling Dudley home,**

"The ungrateful little turd," James grumbled.

**and the two lumps on his head where the window and Dudley had hit him were throbbing painfully.**

Lily winced at that.

**Up and down he paced, consumed with anger and frustration,**

Freda and George grinned, remembering Harry's outbursts throughout this year.

**grinding his teeth and clenching his fists, casting angry looks out at the empty, star-strewn sky every time he passed the window. Dementors sent to get him, Mrs Figg and Mundungus Fletcher tailing him in secret, then suspension from Hogwarts and a hearing at the Ministry of Magic - and **_**still**_** no one was telling him what was going on.**

"I can't even imagine," Sirius said, shaking his head.

"That would drive me crazy," Lily agreed.

**And what, **_**what**_**, had that Howler been about? Whose voice had echoed so horribly, so menacingly, through the kitchen?**

Dumbledore smiled at this. **  
**

**Why was he still trapped here without information? Why was everyone treating him like some naughty kid? **_**Don't do any more magic, stay in the house...**_

Sirius hung his head, knowing he had contributed to that. **  
**

**He kicked his school trunk as he passed it,**

James winced. "That won't help."

"Yeah, it will only make you feel worse," Sirius agreed.

"It usually makes me feel better," Remus said.

"Well that's because you're a werewolf, so the kick releases the fury, without the added pain adding more fury," Sirius told him.

Remus grinned.

"I still can't believe that your fury little problem wasn't a misbehaved rabbit," Frank grumbled. "Seven years of sleeping in the same dorm and you never bothered telling me."

"Sorry," Remus said, not really that sorry. He liked Frank and all, but he was happy with the three friends he had told. Well more like them being determined to figure it out, but still.

"_I_ can't believe that you actually thought that Remus had a misbehaving rabbit for seven years," Sirius grinned.

"That's what you went around telling people!" Alice argued.

Remus decided it was best just to continue reading.

**but far from relieving his anger he felt worse, **

"Told you," James and Sirius told the book.

**as he now had a sharp pain in his toe to deal with in addition to the pain in the rest of his body.**

Lily sighed, growing weary of the constant reminders of Harry's pain. **  
**

**Just as he limped past the window, Hedwig soared through it with a soft rustle of wings like a small ghost.**

"Does he have a snowy owl?" Lily asked Fred and George. They nodded and Lily grinned.

"I have a snowy owl too." **  
**

"**About time!" Harry snarled, as she landed lightly on top of her cage. **

"Harry, don't take your anger out on her," Lily berated him.

"**You can put that down, I've got work for you!"  
**

**Hedwig's large, round, amber eyes gazed at him reproachfully over the dead frog clamped in her beak.**

"Nice," Sirius snickered. **  
**

"**Come here," said Harry, picking up the three small rolls of parchment and a leather thong and tying the scrolls to her scaly leg. "Take these straight to Sirius, Ron and Hermione and don't come back here without good long replies. Keep pecking them till they've written decent-length answers if you've got to.**

James tried to cover up his laughter at that. Fred and George had looks of dawning comprehension on their faces, now realizing why Ron, Hermione, and Sirius all had had cuts on their hands. Sirius looked affronted.

"Why would you do that, Pup? Owls hurt when they peck you," Sirius said, rubbing his hands in memory.

"Then write him a decent length letter," Lily told him.

Sirius looked shocked. "You approve of this?"

"Not really, but I do find it funny," Lily answered.

"You just contradicted yourself," Sirius said.

"No I didn't," Lily replied.

Remus decided to continue reading and spare everybody this pointless argument.

**Understand?"  
**

**Hedwig gave a muffled hooting noise, her beak still full of frog.  
**

"**Get going, then," said Harry.**

"Harry," Lily shook her head.**  
**

**She took off immediately. The moment she'd gone, Harry threw himself down on his bed without undressing and stared at the dark ceiling. In addition to every other miserable feeling, he now felt guilty that he'd been irritable with Hedwig;**

"At least he feels guilty about it," Lily said.

**she was the only friend he had at number four, Privet Drive.**

All of the room looked angry and saddened at that. This wasn't how Harry should feel.

Lily and James looked particularly mad and dejected about this. Harry was supposed to grow up with a family and people who loved him.

Fred and George were looking grim too. They knew that Harry didn't have the best home life, but they hadn't realized that Hedwig was the only person he considered a friend. And the fact that she had recently been killed made it all the sadder as they imagined how Harry must have felt about that.

**But he'd make it up to her when she came back with the answers from Sirius, Ron and Hermione.**

Lily smiled. "Good."**  
**

**They were bound to write back quickly; they couldn't possibly ignore a Dementor attack. **

"It seems as if I would already know though, since I sent him that letter. Ron and Hermione too because of Arthur," Sirius said.

"You might have just known he performed magic, not what type or why," Remus said.

**He'd probably wake up tomorrow to three fat letters full of sympathy and plans for his immediate removal to the Burrow.**

"I think Harry might have his hopes set too high," Edgar said.

"I'll write to Harry," Sirius offended.

"I might be preventing you," Dumbledore told him.

Remus started reading before anyone could question Dumbledore on why he would do that.

**And with that comforting idea, sleep rolled over him, stifling all further thought.**

Lily was happy that Harry went to bed with a comforting thought, rather than the other horrors that he could have thought of.

**But Hedwig didn't return next morning. **

A few people sighed, knowing this would only make Harry feel worse.

**Harry spent the day in his bedroom, leaving it only to go to the bathroom. **

Lily looked appalled. "What about food? And you can't just sit in your room and mope Harry!"

"What else is he supposed to do, Lils?" James said, depressed.

**Three times that day Aunt Petunia shoved food into his room through the cat-flap Uncle Vernon had installed three summers ago.**

"WHAT?" This cry rose from a majority of the room.

"They installed a cat-flap on his door for food when he was _twelve_?" Lily asked dangerously.

Fred and George nodded, also looking mad. "Yeah, we saw it when we came and rescued him. We didn't fully realize what it was for."

**Every time Harry heard her approaching he tried to question her about the Howler, but he might as well have interrogated the doorknob for all the answers he got. **

"Sounds about right," Lily nodded. "Petunia is quite adept at ignoring people."

**Otherwise, the Dursleys kept well clear of his bedroom. Harry couldn't see the point of forcing his company on them; another row would achieve nothing except perhaps make him so angry he'd perform more illegal magic.**

A few people snickered.**  
**

**So it went on for three whole days. **

"Three whole days? Where are you guys?" Lily asked, glaring at Fred and George.

The twins shifted uncomfortably, and just shrugged because Tim was also glaring, warning them not to say anything.

**Harry was filled alternately with restless energy that made him unable to settle to anything, during which time he paced his bedroom again, furious at the whole lot of them for leaving him to stew in this mess,**

"Ok, he has a right to be mad, but not this furious," Lily said.

"Lils, he's a fifteen year old teenage boy," James told her.

"So?"

Most of the men in the room chuckled.

"Teenage boys tend to be angsty and are convinced the world is out to get them," Fabian laughed.

"In Harry's case that's not far off," George whispered to Fred.

"Which is why he was so much worse than anyone else," Fred laughed.

**and with a lethargy so complete that he could lie on his bed for an hour at a time, staring dazedly into space, aching with dread at the thought of the Ministry hearing.**

Lily sighed, not liking how depressed Harry was, and that he had to deal with the thought of the approaching hearing alone. **  
**

**What if they ruled against him?**

"If they follow the LAW, they can't," Dorcas said.

**What if he **_**was**_** expelled and his wand was snapped in half? **

Sirius flinched for his godson, knowing that Hogwarts would feel like Harry's true home and that being expelled was an unbearable thought.

**What would he do, where would he go?**

"Obviously I'm ok. You can come live with me," Sirius said. He then looked at Remus, thinking about how he hadn't been mentioned yet and the implications of that. No, Moony couldn't be dead too, he just couldn't be.

**He could not return to living full-time with the Dursleys, not now he knew the other world, the one to which he really belonged.**

"Did they not tell him about the wizarding world?" James asked angrily.

"Does that really surprise you James?" Lily questioned, although she too was angry. Not only with her sister's family not telling Harry what and who he was, but with the way that they made it so that the thought of living with them full time was horrendous.

**...Was it possible that he might he be able to move into Sirius's house,**

Sirius smiled. "I'd like that, though I don't understand why he's not living with me already."

"You are an escaped convict, mate," James laughed.

"True," Sirius chuckled.

**as Sirius had suggested a year ago, before he had been forced to flee from the Ministry himself.**

"And Harry confirms it," Remus laughed, along with James and Sirius.

**Would Harry be allowed to live there alone, given that he was still underage?**

"Why would he live there alone? The whole point of living in my house would be that he would live with me," Sirius said perplexed.

"If you're on the run, you wouldn't exactly be living in your house," Remus said.

**Or would the matter of where he went next be decided for him? Had his breach of the International Statute of Secrecy been severe enough to land him in a cell in Azkaban? **

A few people laughed at Harry's over-dramatization.

"He totally gets that from you," James laughingly told his wife.

Lily just smiled, ducking her head.

**Whenever this thought occurred, Harry invariably slid off his bed and began pacing again.**

Remus rolled his eyes. "They're not going to send you to Azkaban for this Harry."**  
**

**On the fourth night after Hedwig's departure Harry was lying in one of his apathetic phases,**

Lily sighed, wishing Harry would do something other than lie around being depressed.

**staring at the ceiling, his exhausted mind quite blank, when his uncle entered his bedroom.**

A few people groaned at the mention of Harry's uncle.

**Harry looked slowly around at him. Uncle Vernon was wearing his best suit and an expression of enormous smugness.**

"Whatever it is that's making him look smug, I don't like it," Lily huffed.

Fred and George were trying not to snicker, knowing why Vernon was dressed that way and the disappointment he would feel when he realized the Best Lawn thing wasn't real. **  
**

"**We're going out," he said.**

"They're taking Harry out?" Dorcas asked, shocked.

"I doubt it, probably just telling him that they, the Dursleys, are going out," Lily said bitterly. **  
**

"**Sorry?"  
**

"**We-that is to say, your aunt, Dudley and I-are going out."**

Lily looked at Dorcas, and Dorcas nodded, angered slightly.

"**Fine," said Harry dully, looking back at the ceiling.  
**

"**You are not to leave your bedroom while we are away."**

"What if he gets hungry? Or needs to use the restroom?" Alice angrily asked.

"I doubt that they care," James glowered.**  
**

"**OK."  
**

"**You are not to touch the television, the stereo, or any of our possessions."**

Lily rolled her eyes. **  
**

"**Right."  
**

"**You are not to steal food from the fridge."**

"What?" Quite a few people exclaimed.

"Harry lives in that house, he can't refer to it as 'stealing' when that is the source of Harry's food," McGonagall said, enraged.

Everyone agreed with her. **  
**

"**OK."**

Lily groaned. "Harry, be more responsive than that."

"Yeah, don't take this guys bull crap," James said. **  
**

"**I am going to lock your door."**

This made everyone seethe even more.**  
**

"**You do that."**

More people than just Lily groaned this time.

"Stop just accepting this horrible treatment!" Sirius yelled at the book. **  
**

**Uncle Vernon glared at Harry, clearly suspicious of this lack of argument, then stomped out of the room and closed the door behind him. Harry heard the key turn in the lock and Uncle Vernon's footsteps walking heavily down the stairs. A few minutes later he heard the slamming of car doors, the rumble of an engine, and the unmistakeable sound of the car sweeping out of the drive.**

"I can't believe they just left him locked in a room like that!"**  
**

**Harry had no particular feeling about the Dursleys leaving. It made no difference to him whether they were in the house or not. He could not even summon the energy to get up and turn on his bedroom light.**

Everyone was starting to get seriously worried about how Harry was acting. It wasn't healthy and they hoped he would snap out of it soon.

**The room grew steadily darker around him as he lay listening to the night sounds through the window he kept open all the time, waiting for the blessed moment when Hedwig returned.  
**

**The empty house creaked around him. The pipes gurgled. Harry lay there in a kind of stupor, thinking of nothing, suspended in misery.  
**

**Then, quite distinctly, he heard a crash in the kitchen below.**

"What?" was chorused around the room.

Lily started fretting. "Burglars! There are burglars in the house!"

"Harry can protect himself Lils," James reassured her.

"But he can't use magic again! He'll be expelled for sure then!" Lily pointed out, worrying everyone. **  
**

**He sat bolt upright, listening intently. The Dursleys couldn't be back, it was much too soon, and in any case he hadn't heard their car.**

Lily moaned. **  
**

**There was silence for a few seconds, then voices.  
**

_**Burglars,**_** he thought,**

"Just sit tight and stay quite Harry," Lily instructed him.

**sliding off the bed on to his feet**

"Of course you get up immediately after I tell you not," Lily sighed.

**-but a split second later it occurred to him that burglars would keep their voices down, and whoever was moving around in the kitchen was certainly not troubling to do so.**

Most of the room was looking at each other, puzzled. If it wasn't burglars, then who was it?**  
**

**He snatched up his wand from the bedside table and stood facing his bedroom door, listening with all his might. Next moment, he jumped as the lock gave a loud click and his door swung open.**

Lily let out a small yelp.

Everyone was looking around uneasily, knowing now that it must be wizards and hoping they were friendly. **  
**

**Harry stood motionless, staring through the open doorway at the dark upstairs landing, straining his ears for further sounds, but none came. He hesitated for a moment, then moved swiftly and silently out of his room to the head of the stairs.**

Lily shook her head, and glared at James. "He gets that from you."

"What? Maybe partially, but that is definitely part you," James argued.

Before either of them could continue arguing this useless point, Remus proceeded reading.

**His heart shot upwards into his throat. There were people standing in the shadowy hall below, silhouetted against the streetlight glowing through the glass door; eight or nine of them, all, as far as he could see, looking up at him.**

Lily covered her mouth and whimpered, if those weren't friendly wizards then Harry was far outnumbered.

The other members in the room had also realized this and were in various states of worrying. **  
**

"**Lower your wand, boy, before you take someone's eye out," said a low, growling voice.**

Everyone let out a breath they hadn't realized they were holding and smiled.

"I've never been so happy to hear you, Moody," Lily beamed at him.

"You don't know if that's me," Moody growled.

"Who else has a low, growling voice and says not to take someone's eye out with a wand?" Sirius rolled his eyes.

Moody glared at him and Sirius quickly shut up and looked away; the auror gave him the willies. **  
**

**Harry's heart was thumping uncontrollably. He knew that voice,**

Lily smiled more. "It must be you!"

**but he did not lower his wand.**

"Or not," Lily frowned.

"If it is you, why wouldn't he lower his wand?" James asked.

"Because he's using his head and being safe," Moody growled, with slight approval in his voice. **  
**

"**Professor Moody?" he said uncertainly.**

There was a mixed chorus of "It is you!" and "Professor?" heard across the room. **  
**

"**I don't know so much about 'Professor'," growled the voice, "never got round to much teaching, did I? **

"What do you mean by 'you didn't get around to much teaching'?" McGonagall asked, squinting accusingly at Mad-Eye.

"I wouldn't know, now would I?" Moody replied, then gestured to the Weasley twins. "Maybe you ought to ask them."

Everyone looked to Fred and George. Tim shook his head emphatically at them.

"Sorry, we can't disclose that information at this time," Fred said in a monotone voice.

"Please ask again later," George said in the same tone.

Most of the room laughed, namely the fellow pranksters, a few rolled there eyes good-naturedly. McGonagall and Moody glared.

**Get down here, we want to see you properly."**

Suddenly the whole room buzzed with excitement, wanting to know who else was there and why. **  
**

**Harry lowered his wand slightly but did not relax his grip on it, nor did he move. **

Moody nodded approvingly. "Constant vigilance."

**He had very good reason to be suspicious.**

Lily raised her eyebrows at that.

**He had recently spent nine months in what he had thought was Mad-Eye Moody's company**

"Thought?" A few people asked, and which Moody growled.

**only to find out that it wasn't Moody at all, but an impostor;**

Everyone's eyebrows jumped up at that and made various surprised noises. Moody snarled. Dumbledore and McGonagall looked at each other worried. If someone was able to imposter Alastor for nine months...

"I'll personally send to Azkaban whoever it was," Moody grunted. Let them rot miserably in there.

**an impostor, moreover, who had tried to kill Harry**

Lily gasped in horror, and quite a few other people did too.

"How many people have tried to kill my son?" James angrily asked.

'A lot,' Fred and George thought, though decided to keep it to themselves.

Moody was even angrier than before. Not only had someone impostered him, but they had try to kill a boy that Moody cared about(not that he'd ever admit it aloud), the son of two of his aurors.

**before being unmasked. But before he could make a decision about what to do next, a second, slightly hoarse voice floated upstairs.  
**

"**It's all right, Harry. We've come to take you away."  
**

**Harry's heart leapt.**

"This sounds like someone close to Harry," Lily smiled. "Not that you aren't!" she quickly said to Moody, trying to cover her slip-up.

Moody just grunted.

**He knew that voice, too, though he hadn't heard it for over a year.  
**

"**P-Professor Lupin?" he said disbelievingly. **

There was a mixed reaction to this. The loudest was the Marauders.

"REMUS!" James, Lily and Sirius had all yelled excitedly, relived he was alive. Then:

"PROFFESOR?" James and Sirius exclaimed, aghast.

Remus covered his ears. "Sensitive werewolf hearing here."

"Sorry," Lily told him apologetically. Sirius and James just continued to stare at Remus as if he were an alien.

"A professor?"

"Moony, you shame us deeply."

Remus rolled his eyes.

"I think you'll make a wonderful professor Remus," Lily smiled at him.

Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore nodded their heads at this. Remus blushed and mumbled his thanks while James and Sirius gagged.

Fred and George were grinning, "He was one of the best teachers we ever had."

Remus smiled at them in thanks. James and Sirius took into consideration that the twins liked him, and figured that if a pair of pranksters liked him Moony maybe wasn't a total stick-in-the-mud teacher. Perhaps he had even been fun.

"**Is that you?"  
**

"**Why are we all standing in the dark?" said a third voice, this one completely unfamiliar, a woman's. **_**"Lumos."**_

A few people laughed.

"A smart woman," Remus said. **  
**

**A wand-tip flared, illuminating the hall with magical light. Harry blinked. The people below were crowded around the loot of the stairs, gazing up at him intently, some craning their heads for a better look.**

The Order members looked at each other in confusion as to why people were trying to look at Harry. **  
**

**Remus Lupin stood nearest to him. **

The Marauders and Lily smiled. This was the first time one of them was actually in the book.

**Though still quite young, Lupin looked tired and rather ill;**

Everyone looked at Remus in concern; none more so then Lily, James and Sirius who knew how much being a werewolf took it's toll on him.

**he had more gray hairs than when Harry had last said goodbye to him and his robes were more patched and shabbier than ever.**

"Remus," Lily groaned and Sirius and James looked at their best friend, even more worried.

Remus shrugged uncomfortably. "I'm used to it guys, comes with being a werewolf." He quickly continued reading more before anyone else could say something.

**Nevertheless, he was smiling broadly at Harry,**

This eased some of the tension in the room and caused Remus to give the same smile that he was giving in the book to the baby in Lily's arms.

**who tried to smile back despite his state of shock.**

There were a few chuckles at that. **  
**

"**Oooh, he looks just like I thought he would," said the witch who was holding her lit wand aloft.**

More laughter echoed in the room at the woman's bluntness, though there was still the question of why people would previously know Harry. Was it because they knew his parents, or perhaps how they had died?

**She looked the youngest there; she had a pale heart-shaped face, dark twinkling eyes, and short spiky hair that was a violent shade of violet.**

"Interesting description," Sirius laughed.

Fred and George were now grinning, recognizing the woman.

"**Wotcher, Harry!"  
**

"**Yeah, I see what you mean, Remus," said a bald black wizard standing furthest back-he had a deep, slow voice and wore a single gold hoop in his ear. "He looks exactly like James."**

James beamed proudly at that and Lily smiled fondly.**  
**

"**Except the eyes," said a wheezy-voiced, silver-haired wizard at the back. "Lily's eyes."**

James hugged his wife to him and grinned happily at her. **  
**

**Mad-Eye Moody, who had long grizzled gray hair and a large chunk missing from his nose,**

Moody subconsciously felt his intact nose.

Everyone looked at him in concern before Moody barked, "Makes sense, and better a chunk of my nose than my other eye."

This caused the room to laugh.

**was squinting suspiciously at Harry through his mismatched eyes. One eye was small, dark and beady, the other large, round and electric blue-the magical eye that could see through walls, doors and the back of Moody's own head.**

Said eye spun around right then and a few people shuddered.

"Hasn't changed much has he," Sirius whispered to James and Remus, causing them to snort. **  
**

"**Are you quite sure it's him, Lupin?" he growled. **

"Who else could it be?" Lily asked Moody.

"Could be a bloody imposter!" Moody rumbled.

"**It'd be a nice lookout if we bring back some Death Eater impersonating him. We ought to ask him something only the real Potter would know. Unless anyone brought any Veritaserum?"**

Some people shook there heads at the typical Mad-Eye behavior, but others were staring at him in bewilderment.

"You will not be using Veritaserum on my son," Lily said scandalized. **  
**

"**Harry, what form does your Patronus take?" Lupin asked.**

Lily, James, Sirius, and Remus smiled at each other conspiratorially. **  
**

"**A stag," said Harry nervously.  
**

"**That's him, Mad-Eye," said Lupin.  
**

**Very conscious of everybody still staring at him, Harry descended the stairs, stowing his wand in the back pocket of his jeans as he came.**

"Don't put your wand there, boy!" roared Mad-Eye.

Before Moody could continue Remus laughed.

"What are you laughing at Lupin?" Moody snarled.

"You'll see in a minute," Remus grinned.**  
**

"**Don't put your wand there, boy!" roared Moody. "What if it ignited? Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!"**

Now most of the room was laughing along with Remus.

Moody shrugged. "It's true."

Sirius longed to ask who Mad-Eye who he knew that had lost a buttocks, but he was too frightened of the auror to broach the subject.

"**Who d'you know who's lost a buttock?" the violet-haired woman asked Mad-Eye interestedly.**

Mad-Eye looked taken back that the woman had asked him this outright.

"I'm really beginning to like this woman," Sirius laughed, impressed. "I need to know who she is so I can get her owl address."

Fred and George couldn't contain their laughter at this and nearly fell out of their chairs.

"What's so funny?" Sirius asked, not getting the joke.

Fred and George tried to muffle their laughter to tell him and managed to choke out, "You'll see later."

Sirius huffed. **  
**

"**Never you mind, you just keep your wand out of your back pocket!" growled Mad-Eye. "Elementary wand-safety, nobody bothers about it any more." **

Mad-Eye nodded in agreement with his book self.

**He stumped off towards the kitchen. "And I saw that," he added irritably, as the woman rolled her eyes towards the ceiling.**

Laughter rang through the room and Mad-Eye growled.

"This woman continues to show disrespect and yet I barely reprimand her."

"I guess you grow soft in age," Minerva teased her colleague.

Moody snarled. **  
**

**Lupin held out his hand and shook Harry's.  
**

"**How are you?" he asked, looking closely at Harry.**

"Thanks Remus, for asking him that," Lily told him, tearing up because she couldn't be there for her son. James nodded in agreement.

"Of course," Remus said, his voice catching. He cleared his throat and continued.**  
**

"**F-fine..."  
**

**Harry could hardly believe this was real. Four weeks with nothing, not the tiniest hint of a plan to remove him from Privet Drive, and suddenly a whole bunch of wizards was standing matter-of-factly in the house as though this was a long-standing arrangement.**

Most of the room was smiling.

**He glanced at the people surrounding Lupin; they were still gazing avidly at him. **

Everyone was becoming increasingly more uncomfortable with the mentions of Harry's admiration.

**He felt very conscious of the fact that he had not combed his hair for four days.**

Everyone laughed.

"Wouldn't have made much of a difference if you had," James told his son.

Lily shook her head affectionately.**  
**

"**I'm-you're really lucky the Dursleys are out..." he mumbled.**

"Somehow, I don't think that was a coincidence," Dumbledore smiled.**  
**

"**Lucky, ha!" said the violet-haired woman.**

"And I would be thinking you are correct," Gideon laughed.

"**It was me who lured them out of the way. Sent a letter by Muggle post telling them they'd been short-listed for the All-England Best Kept Suburban Lawn Competition. They're heading off to the prize-giving right now... or they think they are."**

Once again, the room was filled with laughter.

"That's what they get for being horrid to Harry," Alice said.

"I'd love to see Petunia's face when she realized it wasn't real," Lily laughed in delight.

"It's brilliant!" The Marauders exclaimed.

"This woman is wonderful," Sirius said, making Gred and Feorge snort with laughter again**.**

**Harry had a fleeting vision of Uncle Vernon's face when he realized there was no All-England Best Kept Suburban Lawn Competition.**

A few people smiled. "Petunia's would be far funnier," Lily said. **  
**

"**We are leaving, aren't we?" he asked. "Soon?"  
**

"**Almost at once," said Lupin, "we're just waiting for the all-clear."  
**

"**Where are we going? The Burrow?" Harry asked hopefully.**

Fred and George grinned. Even though they knew Harry liked staying at their house, it still made them happy that that was immediately where he wanted to go. Fabian and Gideon were also happy, glad that Harry enjoyed staying at their sister's family's house.

"The Burrow?" Lily asked in confusion.

"Wasn't that where he said his best friend, Ron, lived?" Remus asked.

"I think so," James said, frowning in concentration.

"Isn't Ron your brother?" Frank asked Fred and George.

They nodded, still smiling.

"So the Burrow is your house?" Lily asked, beginning to smile.

The twins nodded again, grinning this time.

Lily beamed at them, ecstatic that Harry was welcomed at the Weasley house. Before anything else could be said, Tim gestured for Remus to continue reading. "This will all be discussed eventually."**  
**

"**Not The Burrow, no," said Lupin, motioning Harry towards the kitchen;**

"Aww," Lily sighed in disappointment. She had wanted to meet the Weasley family, and her son's best friend.

**the little knot of wizards followed, all still eyeing Harry curiously. "Too risky. We've set up Headquarters somewhere un-detectable. It's taken a while..."**

"This must be the Order then, right?" Sirius asked.

"I thought that was obvious," Dorcas teased him.

Sirius just stuck his tongue out at her. **  
**

**Mad-Eye Moody was now sitting at the kitchen table swigging from a hip flask, his magical eye spinning in all directions, taking in the Dursleys' many labor-saving appliances.  
**

"**This is Alastor Moody, Harry," Lupin continued, pointing towards Moody. **

"**Yeah, I know," said Harry uncomfortably; it felt odd to be introduced to somebody he'd thought he'd known for a year.**

Everyone frowned at the reminder. **  
**

"**And this is Nymphadora-"**

Sirius looked taken aback. "My cousin is there?"

Fred and George nodded, grinning. **  
**

"_**Don't**_** call me Nymphadora, Remus," said the young witch with a shudder. **

Sirius paled. "The witch is my 8-year-old cousin?"

Nodding, Fred and George burst into another round of laughter; now joined by a majority of the room. None were louder than James and Remus though, who were thoroughly enjoying this.

Sirius got over his discomfort quickly and smirked, "Well, it makes since that she's related to me with all of her awesomeness going on."

There was a lot of rolling of eyes at this and as soon as everyone calmed down, Remus began again.

"**It's Tonks."**

Sirius smiled fondly. "She never has liked her first name. Don't know what Andy was thinking when she named her Nymphadora."**  
**

"**-Nymphadora Tonks, who prefers to be known by her surname only," finished Lupin.**

"Exactly," Sirius laughed.

"Is this the four-year-old daughter of Andy's we met that summer after 7th year," Remus asked Sirius.

Sirius nodded.

Fred and George were trying desperately not to laugh at that. **  
**

"**So would you if your fool of a mother had called you 'Nymphadora,'" muttered Tonks.**

More laughter from the room, especially from Sirius. **  
**

"**And this is Kingsley Shacklebolt"-he indicated the tall black wizard, who bowed-**

"Kingsley?" McGonagall asked. "He's in my NEWT Transfiguration class right now. Quite skilled if I do say so."

"He also excels in Defense Against the Dark Arts," Dumbledore commented. "I daresay he will make a valuable member of the Order when he is older."

"**Elphias Doge"-the wheezy-voiced wizard nodded-**

Doge smiled, glad he was there for Harry. Dumbledore was also smiling, happy to know his oldest friend was still alive in the future.

"**Dedalus Diggle-"**

Dedalus grinned and gave an excited giggle. Edgar shook his head and Dorcas laughed at her friend. **  
**

"**We've met before," squeaked the excitable Diggle, dropping his violet-colored top hat.**

Everyone laughed at Diggle, and he chuckled good-naturedly. **  
**

"**-Emmeline Vance"-a stately looking witch in an emerald green shawl inclined her head- **

"Another one of my Gryffindors," McGonagall frowned. The girl was only in fourth year now, she already showed good potential. But McGonagall was growing weary of the amount of her students that were partaking in this high-risk group against Voldemort. According to this book she was already going to lose two of her dearest pupils, she couldn't stand to lose many more.

"**Sturgis Podmore"-a square-jawed wizard with thick, straw-colored hair winked- **

There were a few chuckles at that and Sturgis smiled at the baby in Lily's arms.

James thanked the man sitting across from him, who had taken Lily and him under his wing when they had joined.

"**and Hestia Jones." A pink-cheeked, black-haired witch waved from next to the toaster.**

McGonagall sighed. This wasn't one of her Gryffindors, Hestia was in Huffelpuff, but she was still a student of hers and best friends with Emmeline. **  
**

**Harry inclined his head awkwardly at each of them as they were introduced. He wished they would look at something other than him; it was as though he had suddenly been ushered onstage.**

Lily and James raised their eyebrows at Elphias, Dedalus, and Sturgis; the only members that were currently in the room.

"We're probably just looking at the family resemblance," Sturgis said.

"Yes, and seeing as he doesn't recognize any of us, besides perhaps Dedalus, we would be glad to see him after all that time with him all grown up," Elphias filled in.

James nodded at that.

"But what about the others?" Lily asked. Seeing as no one besides the twins and Tim could answer that, and the obviously weren't going to, Remus decided to continue reading.

**He also wondered why so many of them were there.**

"Yes, it is a ridiculous amount of people just to come and get Harry," Edgar agreed.**  
**

"**A surprising number of people volunteered to come and get you," said Lupin, as though he had read Harry's mind;**

"I know the feeling," James and Sirius said, then laughed.

Remus rolled his eyes at them, though he was smiling.

"Why did so many people volunteer to come though?" Lily asked.

"Because Harry is just the awesome," James laughed, smirking.

Fred and George looked at each other; he wasn't _that_ far off.

"We're all close to you two, why wouldn't we want to come help your son," Elphias said.

"Not everyone is though," Lily said.

**the corners of his mouth twitched slightly.**

"Stop enjoying my son's discomfort, Moony," James tried to say in a serious tone but ended up laughing. **  
**

"**Yeah, well, the more the better," said Moody darkly. "We're your guard, Potter."**

"Guard?" Alice asked.

"The name of the chapter! 'The Advanced Guard', this is what it meant," Frank exclaimed.

"Why does Harry need a guard though?" Lily asked.

"Lily, have you been reading the same book as me? He got attacked by dementors in only the first chapter! I'm guessing he doesn't have the quietest life," James said.

Lily sighed in defeat, this was probably true and if so she was going to end up having a heart-attack by the end of these books. **  
**

"**We're just waiting for the signal to tell us it's safe to set off," said Lupin, glancing out of the kitchen window. "We've got about fifteen minutes."  
**

"**Very **_**clean,**_** aren't they, these Muggles?"**

"Knowing Petunia, I'm sure it's pristine," Lily said tartly.

**said the witch called Tonks, who was looking around the kitchen with great interest. "My dad's Muggle-born and he's a right old slob.**

Sirius laughed. "Ted really is. Drives Andy crazy."

**I suppose it varies, just like with wizards?"**

"Of course it does, all muggles aren't the same," Lily said. **  
**

"**Er-yeah," said Harry. "Look"-he turned back to Lupin - "what's going on, I haven't heard anything from anyone, what's Vol-?"  
**

**Several of the witches and wizards made odd hissing noises; Dedalus Diggle dropped his hat again and Moody growled, **_**"Shut up!"**_

A few people laughed, some glad that Harry had been stopped before saying the name. **  
**

"**What?" said Harry.**

James chuckled, happy that his son didn't fear the name. **  
**

"**We're not discussing anything here, it's too risky," said Moody, turning his normal eye on Harry; his magical eye remained pointing up at the ceiling.**

A few people shuddered.

"_**Damn it,"**_** he added angrily, **

"Moody! Don't curse in front of Harry," Lily reprimanded.

Moody decided not to comment on that.

**putting a hand up to the magical eye, "it keeps sticking-ever since that scum wore it-"**

This caused Moody to snarl, thinking of that blasted imposter.**  
**

**And with a nasty squelching sound much like a plunger being pulled from a sink, he popped out his eye.**

Most of the room winced and looked sick at this. **  
**

"**Mad-Eye, you do know that's disgusting, don't you?" said Tonks conversationally.**

Moody growled, but everyone else was laughing.

"Your cousin is awesome, Sirius," James sniggered.

"She certainly doesn't seem afraid to speak her mind," Remus agreed.

"Not at all," Fred and George grinned at Remus, thinking of her outburst in the hospital wing. **  
**

"**Get me a glass of water, would you, Harry," requested Moody.**

"Really Alastor?" Minerva asked her friend.

"The boy can make himself useful," Moody grunted. **  
**

**Harry crossed to the dishwasher, took out a clean glass and filled it with water at the sink, still watched eagerly by the band of wizards. Their relentless staring was starting to annoy him.**

Everyone was becoming more uneasy with each mention of things like this. **  
**

"**Cheers," said Moody, when Harry handed him the glass. He dropped the magical eyeball into the water and prodded it up and down; the eye whizzed around, staring at them all in turn. **

Most of the room looked a bit sick at this.

"Is that really necessary Mad-Eye?" Marlene asked him, her face slightly green.

"I can't have it malfunctioning on a mission."

"**I want three hundred and sixty degrees visibility on the return journey."**

"And to further answer your question, Marlene," Sirius chuckled.

Marlene just huffed at him. **  
**

"**How're we getting-wherever we're going?" Harry asked.**

"Well, Floo or Apparate of course," Dorcas said.

"That might not be so easy, especially with the thin ground Harry is already on with the Ministry," Edgar supplied. **  
**

"**Brooms," said Lupin.**

"Yes," James and Sirius high-fived.

"But that's dangerous! What if he falls off? What if he's not a good flier? What if they're attacked, being out in the open like that?" Lily fretted.

James, however, was only concerned about one thing Lily had said.

"Not a good flier? Of course he'll be a good flier! He's my son after-all!"

"James, he's also my son, and I'm a horrid flier."

"But he'll take after me," James said, positive in his assumption that his son was a brilliant Quidditch player.

Remus decided to continue reading instead of letting this become a full on argument.

"**Only way. You're too young to Apparate, they'll be watching the Floo Network and it's more than our life's worth to set up an unauthorized Portkey."**

"All completely true," Moody nodded in agreement. **  
**

"**Remus says you're a good flier," said Kingsley Shacklebolt in his deep voice.**

James positively beamed. "You see that Lily! Remus says Harry is a good flier! It must be true!"

Lily and Remus just rolled their eyes. **  
**

"**He's excellent," said Lupin, who was checking his watch.**

If possible, James beamed even more. "Thanks Moony!"

"I'm just giving praise where it is deserved, most likely," Remus said, though he was smiling too.

"**Anyway, you'd better go and get packed, Harry, we want to be ready to go when the signal comes."  
**

"**I'll come and help you," said Tonks brightly.**

"Excellent, we get to hear more about my cousin!" Sirius exclaimed. **  
**

**She followed Harry back into the hall and up the stairs, looking around with much curiosity and interest.  
**

"**Funny place," she said. "it's a bit **_**too**_** clean, d'you know what I mean?**

"Yes," Lily muttered, remembering the days when she had had to share a room with her clean-freak sister. And though she'd never admit it out loud, she missed those days when she at least had a sister to talk to, even if it was just to tell her to pick up her dirty sock.

**Bit unnatural. Oh, this is better," she added, as they entered Harry's bedroom and he turned on the light.**

"Harry," groaned Lily.

Most of the males in the room laughed. **  
**

**His room was certainly much messier than the rest of the house.**

"Of course it is," Lily muttered.

**Confined to it for four days in a very bad mood, Harry had not bothered tidying up after himself. Most of the books he owned were strewn over the floor where he'd tried to distract himself with each in turn and thrown it aside; Hedwig's cage needed cleaning out and was starting to smell; and his trunk lay open, revealing a jumbled mixture of Muggle clothes and wizards' robes that had spilled on to the floor around it.**

"Harry James Potter!" Lily reprimanded. The baby Harry in her arms looked up at her, confused. Lily looked down at him and continued. "I don't care if you just got attacked by dementors and are extremely depressed. There is no excuse for your room to ever be that messy, you understand mister?"

Harry just looked up at her blankly.

Most of the room was laughing or shaking their heads in amusement. James pulled his precious wife closer to him and kissed her on the side of the head.

"What?" Lily asked, though she had a small smile playing across her lips. Fred and George were smiling too, although a bit sadly. Lily reminded them so much of their mum and they felt a pang of guilt that Harry never really got to know her. **  
**

**Harry started picking up books and throwing them hastily into his trunk.**

Everyone snickered at Harry.

**Tonks paused at his open wardrobe to look critically at her reflection in the mirror on the inside of the door.  
**

"**You know, I don't think violets really my color," she said pensively, tugging at a lock of spiky hair. "D'you think it makes me look a bit peaky?"**

"Don't answer that Harry, it's a trick question," Sirius advised his godson. "There is no right answer."

"Yeah, it's better to just keep your mouth shut," James agreed.

"Oh I don't think Tonks would mind hearing Harry's opinion," Remus said. "She doesn't seem like the type to get offended over things like that."

"You don't know women Remus, they get offended over everything," Sirius told him.

"Oi!"all the women in the room said. "We resent that."

"See what I mean?" Sirius gestured to the women. Lily reached over and smacked him over the head.

Remus decided to continue reading before his friend got himself in anymore trouble. **  
**

"**Er-" said Harry,**

"Best response you could give, mate."

**looking up at her over the top of **_**Quidditch Teams of Britain and Ireland**_**.**

James grinned at the title of the book Harry was reading. **  
**

"**Yeah, it does," said Tonks decisively. **

"See, they have their minds made up before they even ask for your opinion!" Sirius said.

The women in the room were all glaring at him and plotting up different forms of revenge.

**She screwed up her eyes in a strained expression as though she was struggling to remember something. A second later, her hair had turned bubble-gum pink.**

A few people looked surprised.

"She's a metamorphmagus?" Frank asked.

"Yeah, she's constantly changing her hair and appearance. Drives Andy mental," Sirius laughed. **  
**

"**How did you do that?" said Harry, gaping at her as she opened her eyes again.**

"Guess Harry has never met a metamorphmagus before," Dorcas said.

"Not many people have, there aren't very many of them," McGonagall said. **  
**

"**I'm a Metamorphmagus," she said, looking back at her reflection and turning her head so that she could see her hair from all directions. "It means I can change my appearance at will," she added, spotting Harry's puzzled expression in the mirror behind her. "I was born one. **

"Aren't all Metamorphmagus born one?" Caradoc asked.

"Yes, I believe so," Dumbledore answered.

**I got top marks in Concealment and Disguise during Auror training without any study at all, it was great."**

"Ah, so she's an Auror," Moody growled. "She could be useful with her metamorphmagi abilities. Needs to learn to to not disrespect me so much..."

Fred and George looked at him in surprise.

"Tonks always talks to you like that."

"You always seem to enjoy it."

"You're actually quite fond of her."

"Seeing as she's sort of your protege," George finished. **  
**

It was Moody's turn to look surprised. "I'm her mentor?"

"The first one you mentored in a long time from what I could tell," Fred said.

Moody contemplated this, while Sirius was smiling, glad to see that his cousin had won over the tough auror's approval.

"**You're an Auror?" said Harry, impressed. Being a Dark wizard catcher was the only career he'd ever considered after Hogwarts.**

James beamed with pride. "He's wants to be in the same profession as me."

Lily smiled, although she was also worried about her son's safety. She had been an auror before becoming pregnant, and it was a dangerous job.

Moody was now looking at baby Harry in interest, thinking he would also prove useful in the fight against dark wizards.**  
**

"**Yeah," said Tonks, looking proud. "Kingsley is as well,**

McGonagall nodded, this made sense.

**he's a bit higher up than me, though. I only qualified a year ago. Nearly failed on Stealth and Tracking,**

Moody's eyes tightened.

**I'm dead clumsy, did you hear me break that plate when we arrived downstairs?"**

Sirius laughed. "She's like that now. Always running into things and tripping over nothing. She's constantly banged up. It's a good thing Andy is adept at healing."

"Being quiet is an essential part of being an auror," Moody growled.

"But she did end up passing it, didn't she?" Remus pointed out, defending the young woman.

Fred and George smirked at him.**  
**

"**Can you learn how to be a Metamorphmagus?" Harry asked her, straightening up, completely forgetting about packing.**

"No, you can't learn that particular branch of magic. You either are born with it or you don't have it," Caradoc said.

"Why is he so interested in being one? Doesn't he like how he looks?" James asked, slightly offended. **  
**

**Tonks chuckled.  
**

"**Bet you wouldn't mind hiding that scar sometimes, eh?"**

Lily frowned at the mention of his scar, the one that warned him when Voldemort was getting powerful. It worried her that this woman who had never met Harry before then, knew about his scar and seemed to know Harry would want to cover it up. **  
**

**Her eyes found the lightning-shaped scar on Harry's forehead.**

"Lightening scar? How cool" James and Sirius excitedly said.

"Not cool! James your son most likely got that from Voldemort. It is not cool at all," Lily reprimanded.

James paled at the reminder. "Right, of course it isn't."

"It kinda is," Fred and George said together. This got a few laughs and some worried glances. **  
**

"**No, I wouldn't mind," Harry mumbled, turning away. He didn't like people staring at his scar.**

"I wouldn't imagine so," Lily said sympathetically. **  
**

"**Well, you'll have to learn the hard way, I'm afraid," said Tonks.**

"There is a way you can learn then?" Marlene asked, her eyebrows creased in confusion.

"I don't thinks that's what she means," Caradoc answered her.

"Why do you know so much about Metamorphmagi, Caradoc?" Dorcas asked him.

"My dad was a Metamorphmagus, before the death eaters killed him," Caradoc said softly.

There was a sad, awkward silence for a few seconds before Caradoc gestured for Remus to continue reading

"**Metamorphmagi are really rare, they're born, not made. Most wizards need to use a wand, or potions, to change their appearance...**

"That's what I was trying to say that she probably meant," Caradoc said.

**But we've got to get going, Harry, we're supposed to be packing," she added guiltily, looking around at all the mess on the floor.**

"You shouldn't feel guilty, Tonks. Harry should, it's his mess," Lily said which cause a few snickers.**  
**

"**Oh-yeah," said Harry, grabbing a few more books.  
**

"**Don't be stupid, it'll be much quicker if I-**_**pack**_**!" cried Tonks, waving her wand in a long, sweeping movement over the floor.**

"I thought they couldn't use magic around Harry because of the Trace," Benjy said.

Everyone just shrugged. **  
**

**Books, clothes, telescope and scales all soared into the air and flew pell-mell into the trunk.  
**

"**It's not very neat," said Tonks, walking over to the trunk and looking down at the jumble inside. "My mum's got this knack of getting stuff to fit itself in neatly-she even gets the socks to fold themselves-but I've never mastered how she does it-it's a kind of flick-"**

**She flicked her wand hopefully; one of Harry's socks gave a feeble sort of wiggle and flopped back on top of the mess within.**

Sirius and a few others laughed. **  
**

"**Ah, well," said Tonks, slamming the trunk's lid shut, "at least it's all in. That could do with a bit of cleaning, too - **_**Scourgify**_**-" She pointed her wand at Hedwig's cage; a few feathers and droppings vanished. "Well, that's a **_**bit**_** better-I've never quite got the hang of these sort of householdy spells.**

"It doesn't seem so," Remus chuckled.

**Right-got everything? Cauldron? Broom?**

"He has a broom?" James asked excitedly.

"Of course he does," Fabian said.

"They said they were flying," Gideon finished.

"That didn't mean Harry had his own broom, they could have brought one for him to use," James defended himself.

"Do you really think I would let any godson of mine go without a broom?" Sirius asked.

"You don't know who he got that broom from," Remus rolled his eyes.

"It's a godfather's intuition. I gave him his broom," Sirius said confidently.

**Wow! A **_**Firebolt**_**?"**

"Hmm, looks like there will be a new line of broomsticks out. It sounds like a good broom," James grinned.

"Of course, it would have to be the best if it was from me," Sirius said, puffing out his chest.

This time Remus was joined by Lily and James in rolling their eyes. **  
**

**Her eyes widened as they fell on the broomstick in Harry's right hand. It was his pride and joy, a gift from Sirius,**

"Ha! Told you! It's even his pride and joy!" Sirius beamed in triumph at everyone.

There were a few laughs from the room. James thanked Sirius for taking care of his son.

Remus just shook his head in bewilderment.

**an international-standard broomstick.**

"Nice, Sirius," James high-fived him.

"**And I'm still riding a Comet Two Sixty," said Tonks enviously.**

James raised his eyebrows. "So the Comets came out with another series? Right now they have out the Comet 180, right?"

"Yes, I have one of those," Fabian and Gideon said in unison.

"Ah, I have a Nimbue 1700. I've always preferred the Nimbus brand myself, they're much faster and-" James started to say before being cut off by Remus who had started reading again.

"**Ah well... wand still in your jeans?**

Moody grumbled something about 'elementary wand safety' and 'buttocks'.

**Both buttocks still on?**

This made everyone laugh, particularly Sirius and Remus, who was growing quite fond of the young auror.

**OK, let's go. **_**Locomotor trunk.**_**"  
**

**Harry's trunk rose a few inches into the air. Holding her wand like a conductors baton, Tonks made it hover across the room and out of the door ahead of them, Hedwig's cage in her left hand. Harry followed her down the stairs carrying his broomstick.  
**

**Back in the kitchen, Moody had replaced his eye,**

"Thank goodness," Gideon said, earning a glare from Moody.

**which was spinning so fast after its cleaning it made Harry feel sick.**

"Or not," Fabian said, making a face.

**Kingsley Shacklebolt and Sturgis Podmore were examining the microwave**

"Microwave?" Sturgis and some of the other pure-bloods in the room asked.

"Muggle appliance that warms up food," Lily filled in.

**and Hestia Jones was laughing at a potato peeler she had come across while rummaging in the drawers. Lupin was sealing a letter addressed to the Dursleys.**

"Oh, that ought to be good," James laughed.

"**Excellent," said Lupin, looking up as Tonks and Harry entered. "We've got about a minute, I think. We should probably get out into the garden so we're ready. Harry, I've left a letter telling your aunt and uncle not to worry-"  
**

"**They won't," said Harry.**

Nobody could decide whether to frown or laugh at that.

"**That you're safe-"  
**

"**That'll just depress them."**

A few people decided to laugh lightly at that, though it was still worrisome.

"**-and you'll see them next summer."  
**

"**Do I have to?"**

Most everyone laughed at Harry's humor.

After James had finished laughing he frowned suddenly at Remus. "Can't you tell he doesn't like it there?"

"I'm sure I do, but there might not be anything I can do about it," Remus shrugged uncomfortably.

James nodded, still frowning slightly.

**Lupin smiled but made no answer.**

"I would say that I do know," Remus said.

"**Come here, boy," said Moody gruffly, beckoning Harry towards him with his wand. "I need to Disillusion you."  
**

"**You need to what?" said Harry nervously.**

Everyone chuckled.

"There's nothing to be nervous about, Harry," Lily reassured her book son.

"Unless Moody does it wrong and he's stuck being invisible for-ever,"* Fred said, and George laughed.

"I won't do it wrong," Moody growled, which just made the twins laugh more. They really had missed Moody.

"**Disillusionment Charm," said Moody, raising his wand. "Lupin says you've got an Invisibility Cloak,**

James, Remus, and Sirius smiled at the reminder of Harry having his father's cloak.

**but it won't stay on while we're flying; this'll disguise you better. Here you go-"  
**

**He rapped him hard on the top of the head and Harry felt a curious sensation as though Moody had just smashed an egg there;**

"That's exactly what the charm feels like," Frank thoughtfully said.

**cold trickles seemed to be running down his body from the point the wand had struck.  
**

"**Nice one, Mad-Eye," said Tonks appreciatively,**

Mad-Eye smiled slightly, thinking that just maybe he could like his new protege.

**staring at Harry's midriff.**

A few people snickered.

**Harry looked down at his body, or rather, what had been his body, for it didn't look anything like his anymore. It was not invisible; it had simply taken on the exact color and texture of the kitchen unit behind him. He seemed to have become a human chameleon.**

"Harry makes very accurate metaphors for things," Edgar observed.

"**Come on," said Moody, unlocking the back door with his wand.  
**

**They all stepped outside on to Uncle Vernon's beautifully kept lawn.**

"Which he will not be getting a reward for," Gideon laughed.

"**Clear night," grunted Moody, his magical eye scanning the heavens.**

"Not good for going undercover," Moody said.

"**Could've done with a bit more cloud cover. Right, you," he barked at Harry, "we're going to be flying in close formation. Tonks'll be right in front of you, keep close on her tail. Lupin'll be covering you from below. I'm going to be behind you. The rest'll be circling us. We don't break ranks for anything, got me? If one of us is killed-"**

Lily flinched. "How likely is that?"

Remus read the next line and laughed lightly.

"I don't see what's funny about this situation Remus?" Lily asked.

Remus answered by reading the next line.

"**Is that likely?" Harry asked apprehensively,**

Lily smiled a little. "Ok, I see why it was funny."

**but Moody ignored him.**

"Moody, I want to know the answer to that!" Lily told him.

**"- the others keep flying, don't stop, don't break ranks. If they take out all of us and you survive, Harry, the rear guard are standing by to take over; keep flying east and they'll join you."**

Lily shuddered, as did a few others. They had all been in similar situations before, it was a risk and a possibility you accepted, working in the Order. Still, to hear about a 15-year old taking the dangerous journey, especially since it was a child they knew, well it didn't sit well with them.

"**Stop being so cheerful, Mad-Eye, he'll think we're not taking this seriously," said Tonks,**

The tension that had been in the room was released as people laughed. Sirius was even too busy laughing to notice the chance to make a Sirius/serious joke.

"I really like Tonks," Lily laughed.

**as she strapped Harry's trunk and Hedwig's cage into a harness hanging from her broom.  
**

"**I'm just telling the boy the plan," growled Moody. "Our job's to deliver him safely to Headquarters and if we die in the attempt-"  
**

"**No one's going to die," said Kingsley Shacklebolt in his deep, calming voice.**

Lily sighed in relief. "I like Kingsley too."

"**Mount your brooms, that's the first signal!" said Lupin sharply, pointing into the sky.  
**

**Far, far above them, a shower of bright red sparks had flared among the stars. Harry recognized them at once as wand sparks. He swung his right leg over his Firebolt, gripped its handle tightly and felt it vibrating very slightly, as though it was as keen as he was to be up in the air once more.**

James sighed in longing, knowing how the broom felt. It had been a long time since he had had a chance to go out for a fly.

"**Second signal, let's go!" said Lupin loudly, as more sparks, green this time, exploded high above them.  
**

**Harry kicked off hard from the ground. The cool night air rushed through his hair as the neat square gardens of Privet Drive fell away, shrinking rapidly into a patchwork of dark greens and blacks, and every thought of the Ministry hearing was swept from his mind as though the rush of air had blown it out of his head.**

Now Sirius was sighing along with James, recognizing the feeling.

**He felt as though his heart was going to explode with pleasure; he was flying again, flying away from Privet Drive as he'd been fantasizing about all summer, he was going home...For a few glorious moments, all his problems seemed to recede to nothing, insignificant in the vast, starry sky.**

James was smiling, ecstatic that his son shared his love of flying and he could relate to that feeling so well.

"**Hard left, hard left, there's a Muggle looking up!" shouted Moody from behind him. Tonks swerved and Harry followed her, watching his trunk swinging wildly beneath her broom. "We need more height...Give it another quarter of a mile!"  
**

**Harry's eyes watered in the chill as they soared upwards;**

"He's going to catch a cold," Lily fretted.

"I think that's the least of Harry's problems right now," Benjy said.

**he could see nothing below now but tiny pinpricks of light that were car headlights and streetlamps. Two of those tiny lights might belong to Uncle Vernon's car...The Dursleys would be heading back to their empty house right now, full of rage about the nonexistent Lawn Competition... **

Lily laughed.

**and Harry laughed aloud at the thought,**

Lily looked pleased that Harry laughed at the same thing as her.

**though his voice was drowned by the flapping robes of the others, the creaking of the harness holding his trunk and the cage, and the **_**whoosh**_** of the wind in their ears as they sped through the ****air. He had not felt this alive in a month, or this happy.**

James smiled once again at the reminder of how free and happy Harry felt in the air.

"**Bearing south!" shouted Mad-Eye. "Town ahead!"  
**

**They soared right to avoid passing directly over the glittering spider's web of lights below.  
**

"**Bear southeast and keep climbing, there's some low cloud ahead we can lose ourselves in!" called Moody.**

Lily looked at Moody aghast. "Moody they'll freeze!"

"Better that than dead," Moody growled.

"**We're not going through clouds!" shouted Tonks angrily, "We'll get soaked, Mad-Eye!"**

"Thank you Tonks," Lily said, fuming at Mad-Eye.

**Harry was relieved to hear her say this; his hands were growing numb on the Firebolt's handle. He wished he had thought to put on a coat; he was starting to shiver.**

Lily instantly hugged her baby tightly to her to warm him up, since there was nothing she could do for her son in the book.

**They altered their course every now and then according to Mad-Eye's instructions. Harry's eyes were screwed up against the rush of icy wind that was starting to make his ears ache. He could remember being this cold on a broom only once before, during the Quidditch match against Hufflepuff in his third year,**

James grinned. "He's on the Quidditch team! What position?"

The twins shook their heads, saying it would be in the book soon enough.

**which had taken place in a storm.**

"You let them play Quidditch in a storm?" Lily asked Dumbledore accusingly.

"Lily, we play in storms all the time. You've been to tons under an umbrella," James laughed before Dumbledore could say anything.

"Oh...right," Lily blushed lightly; everything came with a different perspective once you became a mother.

**The guard around him was circling continuously like giant birds of prey. Harry lost track of time. He wondered how long they had been flying; it felt like an hour at least.  
**

"**Turning southwest!" yelled Moody. "We want to avoid the motorway!"  
**

**Harry was now so chilled he thought longingly for a moment of the snug, dry interiors of the cars streaming along below, then, even more longingly, of traveling by Floo powder; it might be uncomfortable to spin around in fireplaces but it was at least warm in the flames...**

"My poor boy," Lily said, cuddling the Harry she had even more.

**Kingsley Shacklebolt swooped around him, bald pate and earring gleaming slightly in the moonlight ... now Emmeline Vance was on his right, her wand out, her head turning left and right... then she, too, swooped over him, to be replaced by Sturgis Podmore...  
**

"**We ought to double back for a bit, just to make sure we're not being followed!" Moody shouted.**

"Do you not here how cold my son is Mad-Eye? You can't double back!" Lily told him angrily.

Before Moody could reply, Remus smirked and read the next few lines.

"**ARE YOU MAD, MAD-EYE?" Tonks screamed from the front. "We're all frozen to our brooms! If we keep going off course we're not going to get there until next week! We're nearly there now!"**

Everyone laughed, even Moody who gave a small chuckle.

"Again, thank goodness for Tonks," Lily said.

"I think she'll be good for you, Alastor," McGonagall chortled.

"I think I'll have to agree with you," Moody said.

"She's certainly a spunky one," Remus said. Fred and George were finding it increasingly difficult not to make a comment.

"**Time to start the descent!" came Lupin's voice. "Follow Tonks, Harry!"  
**

**Harry followed Tonks into a dive. They were heading for the largest collection of lights he had yet seen, a huge, sprawling crisscrossing mass, glittering in lines and grids, interspersed with patches of deepest black. Lower and lower they flew, until Harry could see individual headlights and streetlamps, chimneys and television aerials. He wanted to reach the ground very much, though he felt sure someone would have to unfreeze him from his broom.  
**

"**Here we go!" called Tonks, and a few seconds later she had landed.  
**

**Harry touched down right behind her and dismounted on a patch of unkempt grass in the middle of a small square.**

Lily sighed in relief, glad everyone was safe.

**Tonks was already unbuckling Harry's trunk. Shivering, Harry looked around. **

"Now go get warm," Lily told the book.

**The grimy fronts of the surrounding houses were not welcoming; some of them had broken windows, glimmering dully in the light from the streetlamps, paint was peeling from many of the doors and heaps of rubbish lay outside several sets of front steps.**

"Sounds about as charming as where my family lives," Sirius said darkly.

"**Where are we?" Harry asked, but Lupin said quietly, "In a minute."  
**

**Moody was rummaging in his cloak, his gnarled hands clumsy with cold.**

"Even you're cold, Moody," Lily said.

"I'll get over it," Moody growled.

"**Got it," he muttered, raising what looked like a silver cigarette lighter into the air and clicking it.  
**

**The nearest streetlamp went out with a pop.**

Dumbledore smiled serenely, recognizing his invention.

**He clicked the unlighter again;**

Dumbledore chuckled at the name.

**the next lamp went out. He kept clicking until every lamp in the square was extinguished and the only remaining light came from curtained windows and the sickle moon overhead.  
**

"Wicked!" Sirius and both set of twins exclaimed.

"Glad that you think so," Dumbledore smiled at them.

"You mean that's yours?" Fabian asked.

"Makes sense," Gideon reasoned.

Dumbledore pulled the Deluminator out of his pocket and clicked it taking all the light out of the room. Then he clicked it again and the light returned.

"Brilliant," all the pranksters sighed in longing.

"**Borrowed it from Dumbledore," growled Moody, pocketing the Put-Outer. **

"It was called an unlighter just a few sentences ago," Alice pointed out.

"Its actual name is Deluminator, Mrs. Longbottom," Dumbledoretold her.

"**That'll take care of any Muggles looking out of the window, see? Now come on, quick."  
**

"Oh yes, because a muggle wouldn't notice all the lights on their street going out at the same time," Lily rolled her eyes in exasperation.

**He took Harry by the arm and led him from the patch of grass, across the road, and onto the pavement. Lupin and Tonks followed, carrying Harry's trunk between them, the rest of the guard, all with their wands out, flanking them.  
**

**The muffled pounding of a stereo was coming from an upper window in the nearest house. A pungent smell of rotting rubbish came from the pile of bulging bin-bags just inside the broken gate.  
**

"**Here," Moody muttered, thrusting a piece of parchment towards Harry's Disillusioned hand and holding his lit wand close to it, so as to illuminate the writing.**

"How did you know where his hand was if he was disillusioned?" Lily asked.

Moody shrugged. "I must have assumed he would catch it if I threw it in his vicinity."

"**Read quickly and memorize."  
**

**Harry looked down at the piece of paper. The narrow handwriting was vaguely familiar. It said:  
**_**The Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix**_

Everyone sucked their breath in in anticipation, wondering where their new place was going to be.

_**may be found at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, London.**_

Remus's and James's eyes widened at the address and they turned to Sirius who had gone pale.

"My house? You're using my old house as the headquarters for the _Order_? Are you crazy Dumbledore?" Sirius burst at the headmaster.

"It must be the safest place," Dumbledore said, also curious by this choice.

"The only way we could use that house is if I own it. And the only possible way I would inherit that house is if..." Sirius trailed off, paling even more. His younger brother might be a Death Eater and they might not get along very well, but he couldn't bear the thought of Regulus dying.

James and Remus each laid a comforting hand on their best friend's back to comfort him.

Sirius smiled at them sadly. "Hey, I could be being pessimistic. Regulus is probably fine, or as fine as a Death Eater could be. Maybe he's just in Azkaban."

Sirius then flinched at what he had said, remembering that he would end up in Azkaban for 12 years. Would he really prefer his brother there than dead?

After a few minutes of silence Lily reached over and took the book from Remus, handing Harry to James. "I'll read the next chapter."

**A/N**

***If you've seen the new HP movie, you can imagine how Fred sounds saying that X)**

**After the first-half of this chapter, I noticed that the latter part of it was actually pretty cheerful. This chapter has always been one of my favorites, maybe that's why. I think another part of it is because Tonks is in it. If you couldn't already tell, she's one of my favorite characters. And I ship Remus/Tonks really hard. Sorry if you don't like them.**

**So who went and saw Deathly Hallows? Feel free to PM me or leave your thoughts on it in the comments. I remember asking almost the same thing last year when the 6th one came out XD **

**Also for all you AVPM fans out there(and there was quite a lot of you), who watched Darren Criss on Glee? How totally awesome was he?**


End file.
